A Fine Day
(S-Sakaki-san...)
"Oh... your name is Kaorin-san, right?"
"H-hai, Sakaki-san..."
"I see you already know my name." She smiled.
(I nodded, blushing.)
~
Five long years...
It started as a small obsession...
~
"This is so wonderful, Sakaki-san..."
The park. The first time that we were truly alone together, for the
year and a half that we were friends - the time that Sakaki actually
considered me a friend, and not just some random schoolgirl. The long
years of waiting, slowly...
"Isn't it...?"
That time looking at the stars together, the moonlight reflecting off
her hair...)
~
But it grew into love...
~
"Sakaki-san... D...Daisuki..."
"K-Kaorin-chan... w-what do you mean?"
"I...I love you... Sakaki-san..."
"N...No..."
And like that, Sakaki ran away. Without a word. Without a breath.)
~
And because of that... I needed you...
~
------------------------------------------------------------
Same dream, same pain - different day. Kaorin didn't know why today,
now more than ever, she didn't want to go anywhere. She didn't want to
get up. She didn't want to do a single thing. Never again. She curled
up against her blanket, clenching onto it. She cried silently, yet
again. Her heart bleeding to death with every tear - she may as well
have been crying blood. Holding onto her pillow, forcing it against her
chest, wanting to feel the sensation. The feeling. The longing. The
love.
But it wasn't the same. It just wasn't. She needed the warmth in her
arms, the softness on her skin, and the presence of her one true love.
"Sakaki... please... why..."
She'd asked herself that question too many times.
"Why..."
It didn't answer anything, but it was all she had left to ask. The
unanswerable question, that made her loath every single minute of life,
now that her only reason for existence was taken away by her own
foolish heart and her own foolish mind - believing that someone as pure
as Sakaki would ever be interested in a weird girl like her.
Why bother? She thought. Why even bother getting up? It'll just be the
same. But she got up, anyhow. That's what she was taught to do. She
must keep her parents happy - else life becomes more of a chore than it
already was.
Not even bothering to get dressed - still naked - she reflexively
walked to the bathroom, still just looking downwards into her hands,
silently crying for herself. Walking into the Porcelain palace, she
looked down at the sink, barely able to make out the surface through
the tears.
"Sa...kaki..."
She clenched up in pain again, making a fist, wrapping her arms around
her chest, trying hold onto something - anything. She needed that warm,
soft feeling between her arms - that feeling of love. The feeling of
happiness.
("You're such a pretty girl, Kaorin-chan-")
Suddenly, with all the anger left in her, she hit the mirror in front
of her with blunt force - it did not break.
"I.... I need her... I need... love..."
The days dredged on, with no eventfulness at all. Kaorin dropped out of
everything she was apart of - the Astronomy club, especially. She
couldn't stand being around anyone anymore. She just couldn't. With
every passing day, there was a pain so deep in her that totally
consumed her. Consuming her happiness. Consuming her existence. She now
felt like she didn't even exist... hoping, somehow, that it was all
some sort of dating simulator or video game, where you could just press
the reset button. Reset everything. End it all... I was so much happier
when I was just... close to her. When I was her friend. Where I could
dream... it was so happy... so wonderful...
Her parents were gone for the next two days. There was no school for
her to attend, so she didn't do anything - nothing productive, anyhow.
She turned on the water - cold. She cupped her hands weakly, letting
the groove fill with water, before applying it to her face light,
stroking her skin, nuzzling her own hand in a stupid attempt to
imagine someone else. She sighed sadly, drying her face, looking into
the mirror, and then closing her eyes, "Baka... did you ever really
think Sakaki would love you...? What an idiot..."
She threw the towel down, exiting the bathroom, looking at the floor as
she braced the wall for futile support. Walking down the corridor with
a heart of pure lead, dragging her further down into the abyss.
~
"I love you, Kaorin..."
~
Crying again. More tears flowing, more pain brewing; holding her chest,
the pain ripping through her again.
And with the sound of more shards of her heart being broken and snapped
in half, she screamed out into the empty apartment. Screaming with the
pain. The hurt. The need. Her entire soul ripping itself apart piece by
piece, unable to take the loneliness. The tension. Screaming out her
loves name, she collapsed, gone, and depleted. The soul and being known
as Kaorin loosing its will to live.
~
All I ever wanted...was to wake up and see your eyes...
~
"Kaorin-chan..."
She was still on the floor. The carpeted, but still hard floor. But,
there was that warmth. That feeling. Her eyes snapped open. And in that
moment of Kaorin's short, seemingly meaningless life, time froze.
Sakaki's eyes shining beautifully down into hers. The longing of her
heart jumping forward into Kaorin's throat. Sakaki looked as startled
as the smaller girl.
"Are... you okay ... Kaorin-chan...?" Kaorin couldn't speak. She just
stared up into those eyes. Those big, blue eyes... Her own eyes wide.
Speechless. Sakaki continued looking down into Kaorin's eyes, while she
just lay there still; limp, her eyes still displaying the shock.
"I'm sorry, Kaorin... I'm... so sorry..."
Kaorin hesitated for a second, before just closing her eyes, relaxing
her entire body, finally feeling that rest... "Don't be sorry, Sakaki
... don't be..."
"But...but I made Kaori-chan..." Kaorin just reached up slowly, and
held Sakaki's face with her hands, not caring one bit about her own
nakedness - just feeling the curves Sakaki's soft face.
"You're...all I ever needed... Sakaki..."
Sakaki looked at her in shock, as though she still couldn't believe
that this girl, who had suffered so much emotional pain already, would
still love her.
"Just... you..."
"K-Kao-chan..."
"Your soft lips... your beautiful body... your warm smile... for five
years, I watched you from afar, always wanting to see you... see just
you... you were all that mattered..."
Sakaki still looked into the girls eyes warmly, attempting to
understand... she slowly got up, reaching up and holding Kaorin's hands
softly between her own, kissing them gently. Kaorin just blushed at the
feeling.
(S...Sakaki's lips...touched me...)
She moved to the side of the nude girl, and opened her arms, wrapping
them softly around Kaorin, holding her closer and closer, but making
sure never to hurt her. Kaorin sniffed softly, wrapping her own arms
weakly around the taller girl, crying softly... but this time, her
tears were of happiness.
"Kaorin... I..."
"Sakaki... please... call me... Kaori..."
Sakaki slowly picked up Kaorin, holding the girl softly against her.
Kaorin looked up at her shyly, her eyes shining softly with love, her
hand meekly moving up and touching Sakaki's cheek. She didn't respond
to Sakaki - she only wanted this. Just this. She needed it. Sakaki
gently lifted the girl, carrying her to her bed.
"Hai, Kaori..."
Her eyes still glistening, Kaorin held onto Sakaki's shoulder softly.
Sakaki's soft, large, warm chest adding more comfort for the smaller
girl. Sakaki continued to Kaorin's room, and when she opened it, she
was shocked to see it.
There were pictures on the wall, everywhere, of her; of her beloved
Sakaki. It almost made her cry, but she continued to Kaorin's bed,
slowly lowering the girl to her bed. The sunlight came in from the
window, reflecting off Sakaki's dark raven hair, giving her a goddess-
like complexion in Kaorin's tearful eyes. Sakaki slowly made her eyes
level with Kaorin's, pulling up a blanket to her chest, "I'm so sorry,
Kaorin... I... I wanted to see you, and when I was at your door... I
heard you scream... the door was unlocked and--"
Kaorin couldn't say a thing, looking into Sakaki's eyes like a lost
child.
"I'll go, now... I've hurt you too much... Gomen nasai... Kaori..."
Suddenly, she felt her heart leap, and she spurted out, grabbing
Sakaki's hand, "Sakaki... will you stay beside me... and... hold me
close to you...tonight...? Please..." She felt almost stupid at the
comment, but she couldn't contain her dreams and longing anymore. She
needed Sakaki beside her - there, loving her, holding their bodies
close. She needed the warmth desperately. She needed the love to
live...
"...please..."
Sakaki blushed softly, but then slowly nodded, smiling warmly, "Of...
course I will, Kaori..."
She got up, taking off her jacket and shirt; taking off her clothes
piece by piece, revealing her entire body to Kaorin - the blushing girl
who slowly began sitting up, admiring Sakaki's mature womanly body -
but not in a sexual way; at least not through Kaorin's eyes. Kaorin was
admiring the woman who was in her heart for the longest time, and who,
now, had given her so much happiness... She was admiring the person who
loved her. The woman who could be there to hold their hopes closely,
and forget the evils of the world. The woman who would be there for her
and the woman who she herself would be there for. The person who could
make her heart pure. The person that could give her any sense of...
desire. The one solitary person, who could fulfill her every need - but
separated, are both incomplete.
Her other half.
Sakaki - now completely bare - moved over to her, sitting on the side
of the bed, before shifting in front of Kaorin, looking at her warmly.
Sakaki moved closer, taking both of Kaorin's hands into her own; their
fingers intertwining beautifully - their bodies close, together, and
without any shields to block their feelings. The two girls holding each
other softly, their foreheads pressed together, looking into each
other's eyes, their souls free of any pain or regret before moment in
time. Sakaki and Kaorin, together, and for all eternity, with no one to
stop them. The beautiful world theirs - and the beautiful dreams that
they would have. The dreams that they would make would be timeless. And
for in each others eyes, knew what the future would have in store for
them.
"It's going to be a fine day tomorrow..."
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