2.
"You told her yes?"
My little brother, Kenta, was shocked when I told him. I can't blame him, I'm shocked too. I said I would go on a date with a girl. Me! What was I thinking? I could still see Miyu's eyes burned into my mind. How brave it must of been for her do to that.
"It's just one date. I'll go out with her, then tell her the truth afterwards." I told him. "I figured that I could at least give her that…"
"This is both weird and funny at the same time."
"It's not funny." I told him. I wasn't in the mood for this sort of thing. "A girl's heart is…"
But what was I saying? By not telling her I could still hurt her. But by saying no… after looking into those eyes… I'm so confused.
"So what are you going show up as? A boy or a girl?" Kenta asked.
It was a fair question. If I dressed like a girl, then everything would be out in the open already. But I did promise her Miyu one date. Would it be kinder to let Miyu have that date or tell her straight forward.
"I guess I shouldn't lie to her." I finally decided.
"My sister, the heartbreaker." Kenta teased.
"Shut up!"
The day of the date I was actually nervous. When I looked in my closet I realized that I had been dressing like my brother for so long I didn't have that many girly clothes anymore. The ones I had were too small, and I couldn't show up in my high school uniform. So I had looked at the clothes I had, the ones I didn't borrow from my brother. They were plain looking, cut for a girl, but still looked way to boyish.
Groaning I gave up. My brother had nicer things, and it would really be horrible if I showed up dressed like a slob. I'd just have to tell her outright. When I went to borrow some of his clothes, Kenta teased me some more.
"At least I got a date on a Saturday." I retorted. That shut him up.
I showed up at arranged meeting place. I really didn't have a plan for a date, but I thought that I'd take her to something fun and typical… one I'd like to go on with a boy if I had a chance. But instead of telling her at the end of the date, I'd tell her up front but still treat her to lunch and a movie. That sounded reasonable.
Somehow I got there early. This was starting to look like a shōjo manga scenario. Soon Miyu would arrive and say "Did I keep you waiting for long." and I would go "No, I only just arrived." The thought of it made my blush. How corny is that? But when Miyu arrived moments later she greet me with a giggle.
"I thought I'd be the early one." Miyu told me. "Looks like you beat me here."
"Oh. Uh, yeah sorry about that?" I stammered not sure what to say.
She looked really nice. Before she was dressed up for school, but today she was dressed up for a date. I wished I looked like her. She's so pretty.
"I-is there something wrong?"
"Huh?"
"Well… you're kind of staring at me?"
"Am I? Sorry, it's just you're so beautiful."
Why did I say that? It's okay for a girl to say that to another girl, but a boy? What in the world was I thinking?
"D-Did I dress up too much?" Miyu's face was burning red.
"No! No… sorry, I just… I shouldn't be allowed to speak in public is all." I felt weird.
"I don't know…" Miyu smiled a small smile. "You're kind of cute when you're nervous."
"I'm cute?"
Then I remembered. I was supposed to of told her I'm a girl by now. I'm only making the situation worse. And after I went and said she's beautiful. She'll think I'm some sort of pervert or something.
"Hoshino-san, I should tell you something…"
"Could you call me Miyu-san or Miyu-chan?"
"Huh?"
"It's just that Hoshino-san sounds so formal… and you saved my life and all so-"
My mind went blank.
"Oh, I just realized I keep calling you Akira-kun, and I never asked you if that's okay."
"Yeah, I guess so." I said then immediately screamed internally. I'm getting no where at all. I should have just told her flat out.
"Akira-kun." Miyu smiled.
I breathed in determined to get the information out. "Miyu-chan, I'm not really a-"
"Oh how rude of me." Miyu interrupted. "Please don't think I'm saying this as an after thought but… I think you look nice as well."
"Uh, not really." I rubbed the back of my neck. I'm out of my league here.
She looked slightly put back. "You must of gotten picked on a lot in High School, huh? You can't take a compliment so well."
"I wasn't really picked on that much, more like looked over."
"I understand. I was the same. I think I told you before I went to an all-girl school. Only the really pretty girls stood out."
This was getting off topic. But before I could return to the not-a-guy situation, Miyu had decided the date had officially began.
"Shall we go?"
I gave up. I'd have to find another opportunity to tell her the truth. Perhaps at lunch. When we arrived at the restaurant I picked out, I was all too aware of other couples staring at us. Miyu was beautiful, so how could they not? I wondered if they could see through the boy's clothes and realize there was girl underneath. But Miyu was happy, and I found that I kept forgetting to bring up the I'm-a-girl topic as the conversation kept getting steered away from that. There was just something about Miyu that disarmed me.
After lunch we went to a movie. She asked me what I wanted to see, but I always thought the girl picked that sort of thing. Then again, I am a girl, so the whole thing is a mess. I wondered if I should pick something that was overly manly, to punish myself for being a complete idiot, or just pick something overly girl to give her one more hint that I'm not what she thinks I am. I couldn't decide and in the end, she picked something about Kunoichi (Female Ninjas). The movie was… well I guess Miyu didn't know what type of film it was.
"I'm sooo sorry." Miyu told me as we left the cinema. "I'm so embarrassed. I didn't know it was that kind of movie."
"Don't worry about it."
"I guess guys like that sort of thing." Miyu laughed nervously.
"I wouldn't know." I shrugged.
"It seems to me if you're going to be a ninja, you'd need to wear more concealing clothes at least." Miyu went on. "Anyway, I'm sorry. I thought that it might be an action movie and you'd like it."
"Thanks for being considerate."
The date was starting to come to a close and I still hadn't told her. I couldn't say anything during the movie, I was stuck at square one. I needed something with no distractions. I spied a public park a crossed the street from the cinema and suggest we have a stroll there. Maybe I could work up the nerve to finally tell her the truth.
As we entered the park I became all too aware of all the other Saturday couples. This was a bad idea. They were all cuddling and lovey-dubey. This kind of environment was going to be even worse. But I couldn't string Miyu along any longer. It wasn't right. She had to know.
"Akira-kun, is it alright if I hold your hand?" Miyu asked once again making me drop my guard.
"Sure." I took her hand. I could tell she was shaking. Was she that nervous?
"You have small hands, and they're pretty soft too." Miyu commented mainly out of nervousness. If she were a boy, I'd think it was cute. Who am I kidding, it's cute even when she's a girl.
"Everything about me is like that." I tried to open with. I couldn't hold it off any longer.
"Small and soft?" Miyu smiled timidly. "Kinda like me. I should try and be braver, huh? Would it surprise you that this is the bravest I've ever been?"
"Holding my hand?"
"No. Being with you. I noticed you the beginning of the semester and it took me forever to work up the courage to sit next to you like I did. I didn't think I could ask you out, but somehow I did."
"You don't have be so shy. You're really pretty, I'm surprised you didn't have a boyfriend."
"You really say the nicest things to me. Maybe that's why everyone likes you."
"What do you mean?"
"All the girls think you're cute. And you're really nice to them. And you never hit on anyone. You're kind of perfect."
Of course I wouldn't hit on any girls. I am a girl. If only I could tell her that bluntly. "I'm not that great…"
"I'm happy you agreed to go on a date with me." Miyu ignored that last part. "Even if you don't like me."
"What do you mean?"
"I can tell you just want to be friends." Miyu looked slightly ashamed. "I keep seeing you trying to tell me, but I didn't want to ruin the date. I'll never get the chance to do this again, so I guess I was being selfish. I hope you don't hate me."
I felt really bad now. But I should I do now? Should I ruin her memory of going out with a nice guy or tell her the truth? I'd hate it if the situation was reverse. Would living in ignorance be better than knowing something that embarrassing? But it's not like I'd never see her again. Eventually we'll be back in school again and I'd still see her. I didn't want to make her look like a fool later on. She's to sweet for that.
"I don't hate you, but you'll probably hate me after I tell you the truth." I couldn't look into those eyes. "I'm not a guy at all. I'm really a girl."
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