Chapter 2: By The Water's Edge
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In the morning, Kes woke with the first rays of sun and found that Anara was laying half on top of her and she was stuck, not physically, but, if she moved, she might wake her. Kes's arms were around Anara's back, Anara's head resting next to hers. The weight of her felt... so nice. And the scent of her hair was heady and wonderful. Kes found herself tracing her fingers over the soft skin of Anara's slim but firmly muscular biceps. The warmth and sheer comfort she felt went to her head a little and she found herself simply snuggling up to her a little more and closing her eyes, content just to lay like this until Anara woke on her own.
Not that much later though, Kes heard Lanam stirring and making fussy sorts of noises like she wasn't quite awake and was scared of something in her dreams. Anara woke up immediately and got out of bed automatically, going over to her and picking her up, taking her with her back to the cot she and Kes shared and rocking her in her arms, saying soft, comforting words to her. Kes had sat up and watched this, and now came up behind her and rested her head on Anara's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her. --She's so cute and adorable like this, isn't she?-- Kes asked softly.
Anara replied, said something, and Kes understood her clearly. What she said meant 'She lights my way in life'.
Tresit stirred in bed then, sitting up and blearily wiping his eyes. He looked over to them, confusion written plainly on his face. He didn't speak though, and got up, going to find his shirt. He was still a little unsteady on his feet though, Kes could tell. She got up from bed and put on the shorts and sleeveless undershirt she'd planned to wear to sleep last night and then went over to get some water. She brought the 50cm container to Tresit. --Drink.-- She told him gently, bringing the canteen over to Anara and Lanam.
Tresit didn't drink or speak, he just watched. Once Lanam had drank some of the water, then he did, but only a little. He got up and brought it back to her, still not saying anything. Kes took it and drank a few sips herself. Lanam slowly seemed to wake up and greet her mother happily. She didn't say she was hungry, but Anara asked her if she was. Lanam said that it was okay, that she didn't need food. 'We have plenty now' Tresit told her, bringing her one of the dried fruits.
Lanam asked him why. He said something like 'because a kind guardian spirit watches over us now, because you've been such a good sister, and made our lives so happy'. Kes was immediately touched by the thoughtful words, though she did have a hard time with what he meant by 'guardian spirit', if those were even the words he used. She knew he was referring to her though, she could tell that much.
"Sharaya Kes." Anara said gently. Which Kes understood to mean 'her name is Kes', but again, there were connotations in the word 'sharaya' she wasn't at all sure of. She got the idea though, that 'sharaya' was a more respected term than 'shantoa' was. Silently, Kes wished that she could understand their language more.
An hour later, Tresit, who was still mostly quiet, had taken his sister, who was happy and liked to talk about anything, outside to play a game. Kes had watched them for a few minutes. It apparently involved one laying stones out on the ground and then the other would guess what it was supposed to be. Tresit, Kes could tell, was completely committed to his sister. He was, Kes was pleased to find, patient and exceedingly kind with her.
Inside the home however, Anara went over to the cot they'd shared before. She was wearing a length of dull white fabric wrapped around herself and tied at the waist. She looked beautiful and exotic to Kes's eyes and she had to keep reminding herself not to stare at Anara's body. Anara asked her then to please sit with her on the cot.
Kes did, sitting facing her, crossing her legs in front of her and regarding Anara with interest. Anara moved forwards and touched her face. She said that her people have not believed in guardian spirits (or whatever she meant) since long ago, but that she was... very grateful to Kes, that without what she had done, and done by putting herself in danger, she and her children would have died. Then she asked what Kes's plans were, what she was going to do now?
--I'll stay with you.-- She told her softly, and she could see the relief on Anara's face as she told her that. --If you want me to, I will - at least until I'm not needed anymore. Then, um, well, I was going to go home, after...-- She hesitated and shook her head, smiling a little. --It's not important. Besides, you're good company.-- She told her honestly.
Anara smiled a little wistfully to her. 'You don't even know me, or my children,' she said. 'I wish I could do something to repay you.'
--Then... then sit and talk with me. Tell me about yourself. What your life has been like. All my life, I've wondered what was out there, beyond the world that I knew. You're the first one I've met who...-- She shook her head again. --I'm just, I'm happy I met you, that's all.-- She told her honestly.
Anara regarded her curiously then, as if she were trying to figure out what to make of her. A small, soft, hesitant smile came to her lips after a moment though. 'I wish I could see your face.' She said.
Kes moved forward and took her hand gently and brought it to her face. --Here.-- She said.
Anara caressed her face, apparently trying to form a better picture in her mind. She shook her head and let her hand drop. She started to tell her story then. She said that when she was a small girl, she had brothers. That her family was... Kes couldn't understand the word she used then at all.
--Wait.-- Kes said. --It's... it's hard for me to understand. I... I wonder if I could... you see, there might be a way for me to understand you more. To learn your language, and what the words mean. But...--
'But what?' Anara asked.
--But I would have to... um, to sort of touch your mind. I've never done anything quite like it before, but I think I might be able to learn your language that way, if you'd let me try...?-- She asked, mostly going on instinct that it was possible at all.
Anara seemed to think it over a moment. Then she said that yes, of course, that she could hardly deny her a request like that.
--No, I don't want you to say yes because you think you owe me something. Only say yes... if you're truly comfortable with what I'm asking you for.-- Kes told her.
Anara seemed to think about it a moment, then she nodded, and said that she was comfortable with it. That she trusted her.
Kes smiled a little softly at that, then wished that she felt as confident in herself with this as Anara seemed to be. Hesitantly, she came over closer to the other woman and brought her hands to Anara's cheeks, then forward into her hair. --Just relax, alright?-- Kes said to her gently.
She could sense Anara doing as she asked. Not fighting her at all as she went into her mind. She focused on language and understanding. She caught flashes of memories, from when Anara was a little girl and her mother played word games with her to teach her to speak. Remembered watching Anara's father, stern but noble, talk as their family ate. Telling them of his day. She remembered two brothers, one mean spirited, the other her defender.
The memories were mostly just impressions, vague and fleeting, but a few of them came through clearer. Kes tried to avoid seeing them, to focus on learning the language of... the Kazon. That was what Anara's people were called. They weren't from this world, instead they'd come here, all the way from another planet, to mine for the materials in the ground.
It was working, she was understanding.
It was hard, and tiring, but finally, the understanding simply seemed to slide into place within her. "I understand..." She said softly, speaking in the Kazon language, opening her eyes and looking into Anara's eyes as they also fluttered open.
"That was... I could feel you, in my mind. You... you really are as kind as you seem, aren't you? I could feel it..." Anara said softly, looking down at her lands and shaking her head a little before meeting Kes's eyes. "I've... I've never met anyone like you before, Kes."
Kes smiled. "Thank you." She said.
"I... you speak now, so it worked?" Anara asked.
Kes nodded. "It did." She said aloud. "So many new concepts though, I think it's going to take me a while to get used to."
"You are a wonder." Anara said softly.
Kes smiled, a little shyly. "Thank you." She answered softly, yawning. "But, I'm also tired from doing that..." She admitted.
"Then... then lay your head on my lap, and I'll tell you what you asked of me... My children say that I'm a very good story teller." She offered with a little of a hesitant smile.
"Then I'm sure you are." Kes told her, doing as she said and laying her head down on Anara's lap.
"...When I was a young girl..." Anara started.
"You had a kind mother, a stern yet noble father, and two brothers. One, your protector, the other, your tormentor..." Kes said softly. "I tried to avoid it, but I... I saw some of your memories. Mostly, they were vague. But I remember that much, at least. Though not very much else. Other than that... you liked to dance, and you loved your family more than anything."
"...yes." Anara said softly. "Yes, what you say is true..." She told her. Kes looked up and saw that Anara was crying a little, soundlessly. She got up and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Anara... I..." Kes began, but Anara took her hand in hers and took it from her cheek.
"Do not be sorry." Anara told her softly. "It's only, it's been so long since... since I've spoken to anyone like this. About them. I tell my children stories of them at times, but... it's not the same. To have someone else who remembers them too, if only a little. It's a relief." She said gently. "You shouldn't apologize for that. If anything... I should thank you, sharaya Kes."
'sharaya', Kes understood what that word meant now. It was a term given to a woman who had proven herself brave by facing trials, risking danger. "If I am sharaya, then so are you, Anara. For you are certainly very brave." Kes told her, caressing her cheek and squeezing her hand.
Anara smiled a little falteringly. "You are mistaken, but charmingly so." Anara told her. "Now... you should rest. You still want to hear my story, don't you?" Anara asked. Kes swallowed. She wanted to kiss Anara, she realized. She fought the instinct as she had many, many times with her friend Tae before and instead did as she was asked and lay her head again on Anara's lap and was silent, waiting.
"I named Tresit for my father, and Lanam for my husband's mother." She said, and Kes knew now that that was tradition for the mother to name the children, and to name them for distinguished ancestors. "My father was a well respected warrior... won many battles. The maj thought highly of him and gave him command of one of our smaller outposts. It was there that I had my childhood. I had a good home. My brothers, as you said, they were as night and day. Ralka, the eldest, always wanted to follow in our father's footsteps, while Tulk, he fell in with a group of boys. A cruel and mean-hearted group of beastlings, all of them.
"Once, when I was nine years old, I..." But her words trailed off as Kes's eyes flew open and she sat up.
"Nine years?" She asked softly.
"Yes... why is that important?" Anara asked confused.
"Um, may I ask, what age are you now?" She asked her.
"Nineteen years, and some months, I think it would be. Why?" Anara asked.
Kes shook her head in wonder a little. "My people don't live so long, usually only seven or eight years at most." Kes told her. "How... how long do your people live for?" She asked.
Anara regarded her with undisguised surprise. "I... most don't live past forty years. Some to forty-five or so." She told her. "Kes... how old are you?"
"One and a half years." Kes told her. "I thought... I thought you were perhaps a month or two older, four of five at most, I never thought..." She looked at Anara in wonder. "And, Lanam, Tresit?" She asked.
"Lanam is four years, Tresit six years..." Anara told her quietly. "...how could it be...?"
"That I am younger than Lanam?" Kes shook her head. "How... how do you count years?" She asked, but then realized that she already knew, and that, though there was a difference, it only meant that an Ocampan year was a little less than a month longer. "No, wait, I already know that. It's not that, your people really do age that much slower than mine." She looked over to Anara, not quite sure what to make of this news, if it was important or not. It certainly felt like it was.
"Oh, Kes..." Anara caressed her cheek and Kes smiled at the contact, feeling comforted. "That's why you seemed so... innocent, isn't it?" She asked. "It's strange though, you seem just as old as I am, in other ways. We certainly look..."
"We look the same age." Kes finished for her.
"We do..." Anara told her gently, caressing her face again a little. "And you seem... don't worry about it, though. Come, let me tell you more of my story."
Kes brought her hand up to touch the hand that was caressing her. She closed her eyes and smiled. "Alright." She agreed, laying her head back down in Anara's lap and closing her eyes again as Anara began again to tell her stories from her childhood, of the small adventures she'd had with her brother, Ralka, and how he would fight for her against Tulk and his gang of beastlings.
She thought about the age difference between them, of how much Anara must have seen and witnessed, having lived for such a long time. How she would continue to live on long after Kes herself was dead. It seemed fantastic - what would she do, she thought, if she were able to live that impossibly long a life? And more, she wondered, would Anara treat her differently? Now that she knew she was... younger than her own children? It was an unpleasant thought, because... because she found she would very much prefer it if Anara regarded her as an equal, as a grown woman. By her people's standards, she was one. Though she wouldn't be considered fully adult until she had a child. By Anara's standards though... what would she see? For more than one reason, Kes wanted her to see her as the adult she considered herself to be... for one reason in particular. That, though she knew she might be hoping again for something that was simply not to be, she was... becoming very attracted to this woman. She wanted to get to know her more. Wanted... to be with her. Even if all they did was sleep together like they had last night, she thought, she could live with that.
As Anara told her story, she stroked Kes's hair, her scalp, in slow circles. It felt so nice, that soon, before she could stop herself, she'd fallen off to sleep again.
She woke to the sound of children laughing some minutes later. She blinked in surprise, because she hadn't meant to fall asleep. She got up and looked around, a little confused. She heard Anara laugh softly, just a little, and she looked over next to her. She'd still been sleeping on the other woman's lap, and she looked amused. "What?" Kes asked, finding that Anara had a very charming smile and a musical way of laughing that made her feel happy to hear it.
"Only that you are very cute." Anara told her. "And so are they."
A little blankly, Kes looked over and saw Lanam and Tresit, playing at wrestling. Tresit was obviously letting his little sister win and having fun doing so. Kes smiled fondly. "You're right, they are." She agreed.
"I... hadn't thought I'd see them like this again." She said back, just as fondly, coming over behind Kes and wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. "Thank you. I wish I had some way to repay you..." She lay her head on Kes's shoulder.
"You don't have to." Kes said, a little of a happy laugh coming to her as well as she watched the two children together. "Watching you all happy again, it's more than payment enough."
"...are you sure of that?" Anara asked softly, a little hesitation in her voice that Kes could only just detect.
"Of course I am. Why? What do you mean?" She asked, turning around a little in Anara's arms so their eyes could meet.
Anara just smiled a little and shook her head. "No. It's... it's nothing." She said.
"Oh. Alright..." Kes answered. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you like that." She said. "I really did want to hear the rest of your story." She told her.
"It's alright. You were tired. You..." She shook her head. "Never mind." She smiled a little. Kes somehow got the impression that... Anara had liked the way she'd looked while she'd been sleeping, but was too shy to say so. That charmed and worried Kes both. Worried, because she shouldn't know that. Was she picking up Anara's thoughts without meaning to?
If she was, it was the first time she'd noticed herself doing that. She didn't want to do that again without permission. Her people believed very strongly that using telepathy like that was wrong. Kes shook her head a little. "Um, sorry. I should go, get my supplies. If... I'm going to stay here with you, they'll be useful to have. You, um, you do still want me to stay with you, don't you?" Kes asked.
Anara caressed her face again. "Of course I do. I want..." She shook her head. "Just be safe, Kes. Return to me..."
"Don't worry, I will." She told her, caressing her face a little in return, as much as she dared without seeming overly familiar.
"I will go with you." Tresit spoke up. Having gotten up from his and his sister's bed, he was coming over stand before them.
"Oh, thank you, Tresit. But I don't think..." She looked to Anara for guidance.
"Take him with you." Anara said.
"It's my duty to go. My father would be ashamed of me if I let you go into danger without me." He told her with determination.
"Where... where is your father?" Kes asked, looking from Tresit to Anara.
"He's..." Anara started to say.
"He died bravely, a... a noble death. Yes, mother?" Tresit said, a little vulnerability in his voice that he tried to cover with bravery of his own.
"Yes, my son speaks truly. A noble death, so we were told." She said softly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?" She asked Anara and Tresit both, looking between them.
"A campaign." Anara began. "He was conscripted to service. A rival sect wanted to take this planet from us. He and my brothers went to fight. Only one of my brothers returned. Tulk."
"...I see." Kes remembered, and was sure Anara would have rather that if only one among the three were to have returned, Tulk would have been her last choice.
"We had no one left, but him. No family." Anara said.
"He is no family of mine." Tresit protested.
"Tresit..." Anara spoke, then shook her head, looking from Lanam, who was listening to them talk intently, to Kes. "Can we talk of this... another time? Please, Kes?"
"Of course." Kes agreed easily, understanding that there were things that Anara did not want to say in front of the young Lanam... though, Kes supposed that, as hard as it was for her to believe, Lanam had actually lived for more than twice her lifetime so far. It was hard to accept. The girl still seemed so much like the child she appeared to be. Kes would have thought that, despite outward appearances, if the children were really so old, that they would act as adults would. It didn't make sense. The only explanation she could think of was that perhaps Anara was lying to her for seem reason, or mistaken somehow, but those explanations didn't seem very likely at all. She especially couldn't bring herself to think Anara would do something like that, or that she'd even have a reason to. She'd been inside her mind, after all, and she hadn't sensed anything that would tell her that Anara wasn't trustworthy. "Well, we should go, before the sun heats the air too much. That is, if you still want to come with me?" She asked Tresit a little playfully.
"Of course I do." He told her, looking to his mother for permission.
Anara nodded to him, and he tried to hide his smile.
"Let's be going then." She went to Anara and hugged her goodbye. "Don't worry, I'll bring him back to you safe and sound, I promise." She whispered to the other woman.
"I know you will." Anara said softly, though Kes couldn't mistake the undercurrent of fear and worry that were there none the less.
Kes got up and dressed fully. Tresit, seeing her do so, did the same. He saw her knifes and looked impressed.
"Be brave, big brother. I love you, heart and blood." Lanam told him.
Tresit smiled to her, though she couldn't see it, so he caressed her cheek fondly. "Heart and blood, little sister. Always." he told her.
Anara went to her son then and got to her knees and hugged him. "My noble son." She said, the emotion in her voice plain. "I am so proud of you. As I always have been. Be safe."
"I will be. I will come back." He told her.
Anara smiled falteringly, looking from him up to Kes, obviously holding back tears. Kes smiled fondly to her. How could it be that this woman tugged on her heart so, in such a short time? She swallowed her emotion and held out her hand to Tresit. "Let's go then."
He nodded and took her hand, and they left.
They were quiet at first as they walked towards the rocks.
"I like your daggers." Tresit said as they climbed over some stones in their way.
"Oh, um, thank you." Kes replied.
"I have one too. It was my father's ...Would you like to see it?" He asked.
Kes paused and sat on one of the rocks. "If you want to show me, alright." She smiled a little. She supposed some things were common between Kazon and Ocampa boys after all. Not that she could say exactly what that thing that they had in common was, but she could remember Daggin saying something to her in almost the exact same way when she was a young girl, about a new toy his father had given him. A spinning top that made noise when it whirled around. She'd never heard another girl sound quite the same way.
He took it out and held it out to her, handle first. "The handle has our family's symbol on it. He told me once, he got it from his father, and his father got it from his. All the way back to when we were slaves, maybe even before, he didn't know."
"It's very well taken care of, for something so old." Kes told him, wondering about what he'd said about his people having been slaves, but deciding not to ask just now.
"I know. My mother told me, father used to clean it once a week, in a certain way. That she used to like to watch him do that. Because he looked... at peace." He told her. "I don't remember him very well. I think I can remember his face sometimes. But, I clean this once a week, like he did. Mother showed me how to." He explained.
"I... I'm sure your father would be very proud of you." Kes told him, handing the knife back.
Tresit was silent at that, looking down at the knife.
"You don't think so?" Kes asked.
He shook his head. "I failed." He said. "I wasn't strong enough."
"Wasn't strong enough for what?" Kes asked.
He looked up at her, a little bit of anger in his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" He asked. "Come on. We should go." He said.
She got up and followed him, catching up with him easily. "You mean, because you couldn't provide for them, is that it?" She asked.
He nodded 'yes' without saying anything.
"Wouldn't it be your uncle who failed, rather than you? He's a grown up, you're not." Kes put forward.
"...he offered to take me in." Tresit told her.
"Your uncle?"
Tresit nodded. "Only me though. That's what mother didn't want my sister to know. He... he wanted me to let them die. I would not... He said I was stupid, stupid like mother, like his brother, and my father. And that I deserved to die with them."
Kes said nothing, though she felt a wave of anger and revulsion go through her, more revulsion even than she had felt towards the man who'd tried to rape her and make her his property. Her mind still could not grasp why that man had wanted to rape her, why they would treat her like property like they had, and this... this was even more incomprehensible to her. Leaving children, family even, to starve to death? Hadn't Anara said that blood relation was important to the Kazon? "...Anara said that blood relationships, they are very important to your people. Your uncle, he wasn't punished for abandoning you like that?" Kes asked.
"No." Tresit almost spat. "He should have been though, he should have been killed. I would... I swore to him that I would prove him wrong. That I would keep mother and Lanam alive, that I would become a man, and then I would show him how wrong he was. In combat. He laughed at me. Kicked me to the ground, and turned away. He was right though, in the end. I couldn't do it. I was weak. If it wasn't for you, they would be dead, if not today, then tomorrow. Me too."
Kes stopped, her hands clenched into fists. She calmed herself with effort and went to sit down on a rock. "You are not weak, Tresit. He his. A grown man, afraid to even try to look after his own family. And you, you were just a boy, younger than you are now." She tried deliberately not to think of the difference in Ocampa and Kazon aging that she'd just discovered an hour ago. "And you were brave enough to try."
Tresit looked at her in confusion. "That doesn't matter though. All that matters, is that I would have let them die, and it would have been for nothing. My uncle... he would have still been alive."
"...You would have still been alive, if you'd gone with him... would you make a different choice, now? Even if I hadn't happened by, and you'd have died with them? Even if it was inevitable that you would die? Would you have done it any differently?" She asked.
"No, of course not!" He said, almost as though she were accusing him of something horrible.
"So why is it better that he would have lived when you wouldn't have?" Kes asked. "If you wouldn't want to have a life like his anyway? If you think... that living a life like his would be worse than dying?"
"I... I guess I never thought about it like that." Tresit admitted.
"Your father died, in a battle he wasn't able to win... right?" Kes asked softly. "But you're proud of him for that?"
"...Yes." Tresit told her.
"Then... wouldn't he be proud of you? For doing the same thing? For fighting a battle, even if you couldn't win? And... and seeing it to the end?" She asked. Somehow... somehow, she understood, this was the right thing to say. The thing Tresit needed to hear. She wasn't quite sure how she knew that, but she did know it. Maybe... maybe she'd gained more than language when she'd touched Anara's mind like she had. It... it certainly felt like she had. Though she couldn't quite put a name to what that meant.
Tresit was quiet a moment, looking down at the ground between them. But, then he raised his head and met her eyes. "You're right. He... he would be proud of me, wouldn't he?" He said, a little wonder in his voice. Kes could tell, he honestly hadn't thought his father would have been proud of him before.
"And besides. Now you have a second chance, right? And I'm here to help you." She told him. "Okay?"
"Okay." He said. "But... but I'm going to pay you back one day, sharaya. One day, I'll save you from something, maybe."
Kes smiled to him. "Maybe you will." She said, sitting up and offering him her hand to hold.
He took it and they headed off again.
They had to release their hands soon of course, so they could climb over and between the rocks.
It took a while, but eventually they made their way around the outskirts of the city perimeter, beyond the expanse of open desert that ringed the city, to where Kes had first made her approach to the city when she'd come here.
The buildings made a wall here, and no one moved about within seeing distance, at least not that either of them could see. This part of town had abandoned buildings in it, Kes noted, and wasn't in very good repair, compared to other areas she'd seen.
The two of them made their way into the city without problems and Kes went to retrieve her pack, relieved when she found it still there and without anything missing. She opened it up and offered her canteen to Tresit. "Take a sip from this."
He did so, but a small one, she noted, before handing it back to her. "Thank you." He said softly. He had his dagger in his hand and, even while he'd been drinking, he remained very serious looking, his eyes keen, looking for danger. She could relate to that, of course, but where it was a matter of survival for her, she could tell, for him, it was also a matter of pride. She wasn't quite sure what she thought of that, though she could tell, even Anara had pride like this, though of a different, much more understated sort. So she thought, it was probably a cultural trait for the Kazon people. Her own people didn't even really have a concept like that, that she could tell, or, if they did, it was much different.
"You're welcome." She smiled. Taking a similarly small sip herself. She closed her eyes and sensed for anyone nearby. There were people, but none of them close enough to be a threat, probably. "We should go back now."
He nodded. "Yes." He said.
He was nervous, under the pride. She could tell that now. Perhaps even more nervous than she was. She wondered, momentarily, why that was, what had happened to him to make him so on edge like this in the city? He certainly wasn't like that at home with his mother and sister; there, he was relaxed and happy, even quite cute and playful where his sister was concerned. She didn't ask about it though. Maybe she would later, but not today. She'd just buoyed his spirits before, she didn't want to bring up possibly bad memories for him right on the heals of that.
They silently left the city and made it back to the rock line without being seen. She could tell, Tresit's heart was beating fast and when they got behind the rocks, he leaned against one and visibly tried to get himself to relax.
Kes didn't say anything, but patiently waited with him, allowing herself the time to relax too. It was only a minute though, before Kes saw Tresit's hands ball into fists as he stood away from the rock and looked to her. "Let's go, okay?" He said.
"Okay." Kes agreed easily, again not saying anything else.
They were half way back when Tresit broke the silence. "I tried to do what you did, you know." He finally said.
"What's that?" Kes asked gently.
"To steal food, water. Before, mother would... would beg, in the streets, for food. Or take jobs, cleaning, things like that, if she could get them. But then, her sight got worse... she couldn't work anymore. I could have worked. In the mines. But... the only job they would give someone my age... it would be very dangerous. Mother made me swear on father's memory that I wouldn't work there, no matter what. So, I started to steal things. I thought I was good at it, but it only took four times for me to get caught. They beat me for what I'd done. Shamed me... Laughed... I made it back home, but I... I past out as soon as I came through the door. I was sick, a fever, and my leg was hurt besides..." He told her, his words trailing off.
"That's horrible." Kes commented.
"I healed, but, by the time I was well enough to walk, our supplies had run out. I couldn't move from hunger and thirst. I tried to, but I couldn't. That's... that's when you came." He confessed.
"I'm glad I could be there for you." Kes told him.
"Me too. If only for mother and Lanam. But... that's not why I told you those things... for sympathy." He said.
"...Why, then?" Kes asked softly. She could tell that, for him, telling her those things had not been an easy thing for him. That he was still ashamed of his failure, even though her words might have helped him to get over that somewhat.
He looked over to her as they made their way from between two rocks. "So you'll know. What can happen." He looked away again, towards where they were going. "That it's not safe, in the city. You have, whatever kind of power it is you have, I guess... and maybe that means... that you won't be caught like I was. But, in case it doesn't mean that, I just wanted you to know." He looked over to her. "So you'll be careful."
Kes sighed. "Thank you..." She said softly. "But, you don't ever need to worry that I won't be careful. I have my own story... not all that different form yours, in some ways..."
"Oh..." Was all he said.
He didn't ask what her story was, and she was grateful for that, actually. It wasn't something she liked to think about for one thing, and for another... she didn't want to give this sweet little boy anything else to worry about. It was plain to see, he already had more than enough to contend with as it was.
"I have an idea." Kes said. "When we get back, can you teach me that game you were playing? With Lanam? Where you made different shapes like that? I thought they were beautiful." She told him.
He smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess so. It's a good game." He told her. "Mother invented it for us. Lanam can do it, because she can feel the rocks we use, even if she can't see them... There are four other games too, but that one's my favorite."
They talked a little more after that, mostly about small things, lighter topics. By the time they got back, the sun was starting to really get hot and Kes was grateful to get inside under the shade of the make-shift house that was already becoming familiar to her.
They heard soft singing from inside as they came in. Kes paused by the door to listen while Tresit went in and sat down by his mother and sister without saying a word. Kes watched on as her and Anara's eyes met and Anara smiled just a little shyly to her. Kes smiled a little back too, but she was mostly more than a little lost in the soft melody she was hearing. Anara was singing to her sleeping daughter, a song about how the wind blew over everything and saw so many things on it's never-ending journey.
Kes had never felt the wind until she'd come to the surface. Not really. There were breezes, drafts in the caves, but no wind - listening to Anara's song, she made it sound like one of the most beautiful, special things in all the world.
When the song was over, Kes went inside and sat on the floor before the other woman, smiling softly up to her. "That was beautiful." Kes told her softly.
"Thank you..." Anara spoke. "I'm glad you're back." She said, reaching over and taking her son's hand, squeezing it a little to show that she, of course, meant him also.
The three of them stayed in and talked after that, waiting out the sun. Before long though, Tresit yawned and went to lay down and rest. He and his sister, very understandably, still hadn't gotten all their strength back. Kes and Anara ended up sitting facing one another on the cot she and Anara had shared last night and talking.
"What's it like, down in your city below the ground?" Anara was asking, after they'd moved on from talking about Lanam growing up. They'd both stayed away from the more unpleasant topics so far, and Kes was glad of that. Not that she wanted not to know, or to hide those things about herself; it was more that, after her talks with Tresit, she'd had enough of those topics for one day. That, and she was having such a nice time with Anara, just talking like this, she wanted it to stay that way for a while. She'd never been able to talk like this with anyone else but Tae, and she'd very much missed it.
Kes smiled softly. "Well, it's not nearly this dry for one thing." Kes told her. "Though, I'm finding, the desert... has it's own charms." She told her, flirting a little without having meant to. She'd done that with Tae sometimes too, even though she'd tried not to - not that it mattered, Tae had always seemed not to notice it for what it was in any case.
Anara smiled a little shyly to her at that though. "So, you have plenty of water then?" She asked.
"Mm, yes. The Caretaker provides us everything we need." She told her.
"The being in the array, you mean. I've seen it once, when I came to this world with my husband and our family." Anara told her.
"...you've actually seen the Caretaker?" Kes asked, a little incredulous.
Anara shook her head. "Only the array, his home. I don't know of anyone whose actually met the being who lives there. Though there is a story, from many years ago. That, soon after the uprising where my people threw off slavery, an overconfident maj went to the array with his ships and demanded it's owner's surrender. The battle was entirely one-sided. Two ships were destroyed, the third fled to tell the tale."
"...I see." Kes replied, thinking on that a moment. Again the mention of slavery; she determined to ask Anara about that at some point soon.
"Why do you think this Caretaker of yours hid your people away, in the first place?" Anara asked.
"The stories tell us that, long ago, there was a great disaster. That the surface of our world became uninhabitable, and that the Caretaker came to us then, and that he led our people to safety, built the cities for us. Once, our world was green and full of life, but, even now, no longer." Kes told her. "It's said that without the Caretaker, we all would have perished here. How is it that your people don't? How is it you have water and fruit?"
"It's brought in from off-world. We only stay here for the mining." Anara told her. "You're right, noting grows here. Something in the atmosphere prevents it - makes it impossible for life to thrive here."
"I've often wondered what caused the disaster that came to our world... but no one knows, or has any idea what happened." Kes explained.
"Were your people technologically advanced, back then?" Anara asked. "I've heard of worlds where such advancements have caused planet-wide disasters - whole races of people can go extinct that way."
Kes shook her head. "As far as I know, our people had no technology at all in the time before. The stories say that we lived among the trees, in harmony with the natural world. Though, it is true that those stories have been past down through the years so many times, we really have no way of knowing what's true and what's not."
"...I suppose then, if that's true, the only way it could have happened would have been that another race caused it, or that it was some sort of naturally occurring phenomenon. The Caretaker himself might even have been the cause." Anara told her.
"The Caretaker? But... why?" Kes asked. "Surely, if he had, why would he then have stayed so long to help us?"
Anara shrugged. "Who can say? Maybe he has something to gain in it somehow? Or, maybe he fought an enemy here, and this was the result? Or maybe he was simply careless and regrets it? Whatever the truth of it is, I can tell you that I've never heard of a planet that was green and verdant as yours was suddenly turning into a desert before, nor have I heard of anyone else encountering a being like your Caretaker. I admit, I'm not especially well-traveled or knowledgeable, but it seems a suspicious coincidence that two unheard of events should happen one after the other, without there being a connection."
Kes was silent a few moments as she thought about that. "I suppose you could be right." She smiled a little modestly. "I doubt either of us will ever be able to ask him though, no matter how much I might like the opportunity to, so I guess it doesn't really matter."
"No, I suppose not." Anara agreed. "So, back to my question? What is it like, where you're from? What was your life like?" She asked.
Kes was glad she didn't ask the other, obvious, next question: 'and why did you leave?'. "What's it like...? Very peaceful, mostly. Content, you could say. As I said, the Caretaker gives us everything we need, and most of my people are content with that." She told her honestly.
"Not you, though?" Anara asked intuitively.
Kes smiled at that. "No, not me, you're right. My friends and I, we believed in doing things for ourselves. We started growing plants, gardens of them, in the caves. We made medicines with them, ate food we grew ourselves. And we practiced with our mental abilities. We, I believed, that our abilities used to be much greater than what they are now. The legends of my people say that they were."
"From my own experience with you, I certainly wouldn't be surprised if that were true." Anara told her.
"Some of the adults didn't like what we were doing, but they made no effort to stop us..." And Kes again thought how different her people and Anara's seemed to be. Although, she'd already conceded that any race of people who had Anara and her children for members must have it's positive, even wonderful, aspects, as well. It was just, perhaps they were hidden. Of, perhaps Anara, Tresit, and Lanam were simply... happy exceptions. Much like... much like she herself was, she supposed. She had traits that most of the rest of her people didn't possess - it wasn't a stretch at all for her to imagine the same might be true for others, of other races of people.
They talked a while longer, until the sun started to set in fact. Lanam and Tresit had woken, and they'd all had a sparse meal together, conserving food and water, not eating much more than they needed, though Kes ached inside to be able to offer Anara and her children more. She considered taking them back with her, below ground, but didn't mention the idea. She wanted to think on it a while longer, and she had time because they wouldn't be strong enough to make the trip for a few days yet probably. She didn't want to think her only reason for being reluctant was that she didn't want to face Tae again, though she knew that might be part of it. She knew though, too, that she didn't want to give up on life up here on her own away from her people either, now that she'd found a place for herself. The truth was, that she... no, the real truth was... she liked having Anara to herself... it was selfish, but it was what she felt...
As the sun sat, Kes found herself outside with Tresit and Lanam, playing their game of making designs of rocks in the sand. As they did, Anara made up stories about the shapes they made. Then Lanam asked Kes if she knew any stories too, and Kes tried to do what Anara had, with, she thought, probably not as much success. When Anara had told her that her children thought her a good story teller, she'd been right, Kes had come to agree that she was. She had such a beautiful voice too - soft, but a little deeper sounding than she was used to women sounding among her own people. Kes was sure, she'd never tire of listening to it.
As the last rays of sunlight were dimming, Kes again found herself talking, this time in soft, hushed voices, with Anara. Tresit and Lanam had already fallen asleep and the two of them were keeping their voices soft and quiet so as not to wake them.
"So, Tae, Daggin, Lona, and I went down by the water's edge. Farran was off with the girl he liked, so he hadn't come with us. It's forbidden to swim in the aquifer, either because it's believed not to be safe, or because my people believe it goes against the Caretaker's wishes, or some combination of the two reasons. I'd never heard of anyone getting hurt doing it though. Tae and I went down there when we were much younger in fact, and it was wonderful. This was Lona's first time though, and she was so nervous of the water! I'd never seen her that way. She was usually the bravest of all of us. Or she liked to talk like she was, I think. It was her idea to start the gardens, you know. Her and her Daggin's. They're brother and sister, in case I forgot to tell you." Kes was telling her about one of her favorite memories growing up.
"Describe them to me. What do they look like?" Anara asked.
"Alright. Lona has hair that's almost the color of mine, maybe a little lighter. She's taller than I am, the tallest of all five of us, and kind of... graceful, in how she moves. Her hair is longer, and bushy, and she has dark eyes that are actually kind of mysterious to look at. Like you can never quite guess what's on her mind, but you always would think it was something of the greatest importance. Or something profound, you know?" Kes chuckled a little then. "When we would read each others' thoughts though, practicing our mental abilities, I found out, she's really not like that at all. She's actually very... logical. Thoughtful, yes, but... down to earth, in a way. I always found her comforting to be around though, because she always kept an open mind about things." Kes related. In fact, Lona had been the only one she'd told about her feelings for Tae. One evening, when they'd been the only two still tending the gardens they'd started with their friends. Lona had told her that it didn't make very much sense to her, but that she didn't see anything wrong with feeling that way, and that she thought it was wrong of their people to all but ostracize people for something like that. She'd also agreed with her though, that Tae almost certainly wouldn't return her feelings. She'd asked Kes then, 'don't you want to have children, though?'. Kes has told her that it really wasn't important to her (though the truth was, at that point, she hadn't even thought about it, hardly at all). And Lona had said 'Now see? That's why I don't really understand it.' Kes wasn't sure she understood it either, not really. But, she also knew, she couldn't and didn't want to change to be another way.
"Daggin, her brother," She continued. "He has short, light brown hair. He's a little taller than I am. Intelligent, patient, outspoken, and... kind of opinionated. But, in a good way, I think. Tae and I met him before we met his sister. Lona was kind of a mystery to us back then - always going off places, we never knew where. Daggin, on the other hand, tended to stay near home. He was always getting into arguments with the adults though, sometimes about even minor things. But it was nice having someone who believed things so strongly, believed a lot of the same things I did." She explained.
"And... Tae?" Anara asked, paying rapt attention as Kes spoke.
"Tae... I always thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever met. She has dark hair, bright green eyes... her skin is darker than most of my people, almost the color of the sand... she and I used to talk, just... all the time. I never got tired of talking with her. I..." Her voice hitched a little and she had to stop herself because she was sure she might start crying if she kept talking like this. "You know, I'd really like it if we could talk about something else for a while, I, um, if you don't mind that is?" She asked softly, looking down at her hands.
Anara reached out and covered one of her hands with one of hers. "Of course." She said. "So... what happened?" She asked.
Kes smiled a little at that. "In the water, you mean?" She'd almost forgotten she'd been telling a story.
Anara nodded 'yes'.
Kes giggled a little. "Lona wouldn't go in very deep with the rest of us. But her brother was probably better in the water than I was. Tae said we should try to see who could get to the bottom of the water and back up to the surface the fastest. Daggin and I both said okay, so we tried it. Tae and I got down there and back up at about the same time, but Daggin didn't surface at all. We waited a few moments, and Lona looked so nervous. Right as Tae was saying we should go down and look for him, Lona went running into the water and dove down after him. Tae and I were so stunned we didn't move for a moment or two, then we looked at each other and went down after her.
"When we caught up to her, she wasn't doing very well, so we both helped her back to the surface. She was totally despondent by that point, convinced Daggin was dead... it really wasn't so funny, I guess. Not that part at least. But what did make me laugh was the very next moment, Daggin came up over by where Lona had been. He'd found some lavender colored crystal on the bottom of the lake and was going to give it to his sister. He knew she liked pretty things like that, because she made artwork from them. I think he was more surprised than anyone when Lona charged right at him and knocked him down. I think he was in more danger of drowning from that than anything else. I don't think I've ever seen Lona so mad at anyone, before or since. She wouldn't talk to him for days after."
Anara was laughing by now, trying hard to keep quiet enough not to wake her children, and Kes, now that she was done telling the story, laughed a little with her also, though she also felt really wistful too, thinking about that time. Until that moment, she hadn't realized just how much she'd been missing her friends... especially Tae. She remembered they'd both had to pull Lona off of her brother and she'd shrugged them off and stalked away moodily, rebuffing Kes when she'd gone after her to try to calm her down. It took a while, but Lona eventually calmed down and got over it so that a week after it had happened, they'd all been able to laugh about it, even Lona. Though Kes was sure that after that, Daggin was going to think twice before doing anything that would make his sister mad at him like that ever again.
"I wish I could meet them. Your friends." Anara said.
"...Maybe you will, one day." Kes replied.
Anara looked at her with interest, but didn't say anything. "Kes...?"
"Yes?" Kes asked.
Anara looked like she was about to say something, but then shook her head. "You... you have a very sweet laugh."
Kes smiled at that. "Thank you..." She said. "So do you." She took Anara's hand in hers and squeezed it a little. "I... we should sleep now, probably - don't you think?" She asked.
"I was thinking the same thing." Anara replied.
"...I... have my bedding now. You... we don't have to share this cot..." She started to offer, even though sleeping separately from Anara was just about the very last thing she wanted to do in the world right then.
"No... that is... I'd... I'd like it if you'd sleep with me, Kes... I've... I've missed that. Having someone..." Her words trailed off and she withdrew her hand from Kes's, looking down at the cot between them. "If it's too much to ask though..."
"No! No, of... of course it's not." Kes said a little haltingly. Her emotions now feeling very close to the surface. "I... I enjoyed sleeping next to you, Anara. Very much so." Kes admitted quietly.
Anara smiled softly to her. "Good..." She got up a little and went about undressing. Kes watched silently for a long moment, swallowing a feeling of nervous anticipation and... the beginnings of arousal. She sighed and went about undressing herself, casting an occasional glance at Anara as she did.
When she was done, she moved off of the cot to let Anara get in under the blanket, Anara holding the blanket open for her in invitation. Kes swallowed a sudden nervous impulse toward hesitation and crawled into the bed next to her.
Anara silently welcomed her into her arms and kissed her forehead before snuggling up to her and holding her close in her arms. Kes was only too eager to return the embrace, wrapping her arms around the other woman and moving as close to her as she could, sighing a little in content happiness and closing her eyes.
They didn't speak, and Kes felt no need to say anything. She felt warm inside though, in a way that had nothing to do with temperature. It was a feeling that she thought, she'd been missing her entire life.
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See you next time...