Story: Birthed By Fire (chapter 5)

Chapter 5: Time Changes Everything

October 28, 2174

The mission had gone well for most of it. Shepard’s team was part of an important ground strike on a base, along with another squad. She led her team as she always did, well and with ferocity. They knew their jobs and they got them done. Shepard walked in through a door Leon got open as if there wasn’t a care in the world, beginning to outline what everyone’s part was… until the alarms went off.

They all looked around and Shepard glanced at Leon. “Find out what’s going on.”

It didn’t take him long to get into the system, and after that his face paled. He was reluctant to speak, but Shepard’s gaze was too hard to ignore. “It seems our allied squad tripped… well, all of the alarms. Apparently they caused an explosion.”

“They what?!” Everyone’s eyes went to Shepard as an expression of anger overtook her features. “This is supposed to be quiet. We were told that if this guy knows we’re coming he’ll take off! What the hell are they thinking?!”

Faith sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I guess they aren’t.” She glanced at her own Omni-tool. “It looks like they’re fighting. All tact is lost.”

Garret looked to their leader. “Well, what do we do? They’re gonna have all the security of this place coming-“

“Then they can deal with it.” Shepard pointed at Faith. “Get us a map of this place and pick out the fastest route to his exit point.” She looked to Leon. “I want every door in our way open before we get to it. Don’t make me slow down.” She then looked to the others. “We’re taking out everyone in our path the moment we see them. Try not to let them get a warning or alarm off.”

Rade shouldered her assault rifle. “Guess we’re goin’ in hard now.”

“Hard, fast and direct.” Shepard turned and started walking, with Faith directing her. “They can keep all the security distracted.”

“If they die,” Roland muttered, “It’s their own fault anyway. Told them it was quiet. We had it all planned out.”

No one had any argument. The other squad began contacting Shepard for assistance but she showed no change in attitude. “Negative,” she responded. “Continuing to mission objective.”

“We need help, Shepard!”

“Then you should have followed the damn plan.” Shepard cut contact, deciding they were better off having nothing to do with that squad. Their path was more clear now, and they would get the objective done despite having to deal with idiots, she was certain.

The team moved at a constant pace, passing through doors just as Leon opened them. When they encountered resistance it was put down in seconds. Roland put a round through a head, Leon hacked weapons or shut down alarm systems, Rade blasted someone off their feet, Garret slammed someone into a wall, Faith suspended a few helplessly, and Shepard just tore them apart. They went through room after room until they reached the landing pad just in time to see a shuttle taking off.

Shepard had no intention of letting that go; she stood on the platform looking up as the shuttle rose overhead. “Rade.”

“Got it, boss,” the blonde said with a grin, raising her rifle and firing a grenade from its secondary barrel. The projectile’s explosion took out one of the engines, forcing the shuttle into a spin – the shuttle’s pilot had to shut off the thrusters and rely strictly on the Mass Effect Drive to steady the craft. As soon as the craft was steadied and before the pilot could compensate, Roland’s shot penetrated the cockpit and the pilot’s skull.

Garret stepped up. “Faith?”

“Go for it!”

He took a running start and performed a biotic charge, feeling his momentum being amplified and directed by Faith’s biotics lifting him. He landed on the top of the shuttle and watched as Leon accessed its systems and opened the door, allowing him to slide inside. The scientist – their target – inside the shuttle had a look of surprise and terror, and Garret just grabbed him with a grin and fell back out of the shuttle. Faith’s singularity slowed their descent to the ground and the scientist looked around wildly. “Release me or you’ll all die!”

Leon ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen, dude.”

The scientist stood only to see that his ‘secret weapon’ – the four large turrets hidden all around the landing platform – were all aiming at the sky, groaning and smoking as they struggled to target the team. His eyes then fell on the glowing Shepard, who gave a final twist of her hand that rent the metal supports of every turret and sent the guns crashing to the ground harmlessly, sparks flying from the shorn metal. Shepard’s expression was hard enough that he gave no further struggle as they took him back inside. She shoved him towards the computer. “Call off all the security.” She then turned to her team as the scientist followed her orders. “Well done. I knew I could count on all of you.”

It was a few minutes after they’d called for extraction that three of the other team came in, looking worn and weary. Their squad leader stormed up to Shepard in a rage. “What the hell was that back there?! We needed help!”

The other two members of his team were the only ones that noticed when Shepard’s team all took a step back as she turned to face him. “We had an objective,” she said flatly. “We also had a plan. A plan that you decided to ignore. Had you followed it, you wouldn’t have been in trouble.”

“Things went bad – I didn’t think that would happen!”

Shepard just gave him a cold look. “It’s not my fault you’re incompetent. Your team should get a new commander like mine did.”

The man was practically seething now. “Three of my team died back there.”

Now Shepard was starting to look angry. “And you killed them. This is why not everyone is fit to be a leader – your decisions matter. You hold others’ lives in your hands. When you make a mistake, they pay for it. And you just killed two soldiers because you messed up. Deal with it.”

Everyone’s eyes then went wide, as that was when the other squad leader punched her. The ensuing biotic pulse sent everyone stumbling back, but it sent the man flying. He had barely even hit the wall when Shepard caught up, her hands wrapping around his throat and pinning him to the wall. He began to struggle, unable to breathe and trying to get her to let go, but in her eyes he saw a cold-burning hatred that told him she didn’t plan on letting go at all. The more he struggled for air, the more her grip tightened. He had made the wrong move at the wrong time. The man’s two remaining team members were there as soon as it was clear that she was going to kill him, but they couldn’t get her off of him – her biotics shoved them away, preventing them from helping, and all the while she never blinked, never changed her expression of anger, never looked away from the man’s eyes…

Until Faith appeared beside her and grabbed her arm. “Kira! Stop!” Shepard released the man immediately. He dropped to the floor coughing and choking, raggedly gasping for air as his vision slowly returned. Shepard continued looking down at him for a few more seconds before her eyes turned to Faith. “That’s enough,” Faith said quietly, receiving a nod in response. She then looked down at the man who was rubbing his obviously bruised throat. “Please have enough sense not to say anything else. This is over.” She pulled Shepard away, back to their own team to await their pick-up.

The rest of the team didn’t say anything about it and continued talking normally, but Shepard was quiet after that. There were no more problems, but it was obvious that the other squad leader wasn’t going to let things go.

Mass Effect

Armand sighed, looking over the screens and papers spread out around his desk. Being a psychologist and psych evaluator for the Alliance military was tiring on the best of days, but his next evaluation was looking to be the worst – this “Shepard” had the worst history of incidents he’d seen from someone that hadn’t been discharged. He figured he knew how this evaluation was going to go, but it was his job, after all, so with another sigh he tapped the button to contact his secretary. “Send Shepard in now, please.”

To his surprise, when the door opened a man in a very nice uniform walked in. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said, glancing at one of his screens. “I’m scheduled to evaluate Kira Shepard right now.” He gave the man a smile. “I’m pretty sure you’re not her.”

The man was obviously older than him by a good amount of years, with greying hair and a strong appearance. The man adjusted the cuff of his uniform, chuckling as he looked at the younger man. “You’ve got a good sense of humor; let’s hope your other senses are as honed. You won’t be meeting with Shepard.”

The psychologist frowned. “I’m sorry? But I was scheduled-“

“Oh, your scheduling isn’t wrong,” the older man assured him. “You met with her today, just as planned. You evaluated her, and passed her.”

“Passed?!” Armand shook his head. “Sir, with all due respect, I’ve got more incidents involving her than anyone else. Her violent tendencies are erratic at best and unstable at worst! She’s a danger to everyone around her and in my opinion there’s no way-“

“I am not interested in your opinion, Armand,” the man stated firmly, turning to the window and adjusting the cuff of his uniform sleeve as he appraised himself in the mirror, making sure nothing was out of place. “These are your orders, and they come from far higher than you have any ability to argue with. You met Shepard, you evaluated her, you passed her. Are we clear?”

Armand sat back, weighing his options before nodding. “Yes, sir. We’re clear.” He then sat forward, leaning his elbows on his desk – he wasn’t a coward, and he was curious. “Can I ask why? Is she related to a higher-up, or…?”

The man smiled. “This isn’t nepotism. Shepard has no relations, as you should see in your file – everyone related to her to any extent is dead. Let’s just say that we gave her our own evaluation and she passed.”

“You mean she’s useful.”

He chuckled. “Call it whatever you want. Have a good day, Armand.”

The psychologist watched the older man walk out. He didn’t feel right about following these orders, but he had no choice – and it wasn’t as if he could change it anyway. Besides, these were the people that made the decisions – it was their military, he just gave his opinion. He’d done so and made it clear how he felt, so what happened next was up to them. He knew that going along with it was his only option when he watched as the incidents Shepard had been involved in disappeared one by one from his computer’s records until her record was clean. He didn’t know who was changing his records, but he did know that he didn’t want to know. He let out a deep breath and gave her a “Pass” on her evaluation before deciding to take off early and get himself a stiff drink; it was best to just forget about this kind of thing.

Mass Effect

Faith woke up in the middle of the night; it was just as well, as her sleep wasn’t very restful. As she always did first thing after waking up, she looked over at Kira’s bed – this time, it was empty. This happened enough that it wasn’t uncommon, and she got up and dressed enough to go find her. A lot of times Kira’s mind just couldn’t handle things anymore and she either freaked out or broke down, finding someplace alone – often the bathroom – in order to struggle with herself. Faith always found her and did what she could to help, which to her eternal gratitude seemed to be a lot. She couldn’t fix her girlfriend – she’d tried for years and Shepard wasn’t exactly ‘better’ – but she could help her, make it easier, and fix individual episodes.

Seeing the girl she loved struggle with depression, rage, and even suicidal issues wasn’t easy, but she never even considered that it wasn’t worth it. And she made sure Kira knew that. Checking the bathroom she found it empty, as well as several other likely spots, but finally she found her in a training room, beating the hell out of some unfortunate punching bags. Faith stood back a bit and just watched her for a little while, sure that Shepard had realized her presence already.

Shepard was sweating a lot despite only being dressed in a sleeveless white shirt and dark shorts. Her crimson hair stuck to her skin as she repeatedly slammed her fists into the punching back, pouring her anger into the blows in an attempt to push it out of herself and purge her mind of rage. It wasn’t working as well as she’d hoped, though; her anger just amplified itself.

Faith watched until Kira finally stopped, breathing heavily and resting her forehead against the punching bag. “You should leave,” Kira said quietly, closing her eyes.

Faith just smiled. “But I like watching you work out, straining and getting all sweaty – it’s sexy.”

Kira opened her eyes and pushed the bag away, looking off to the side. “I mean you should leave me. I’m not getting any better; I’m just dangerous.”

Faith pushed off the wall and walked up behind Shepard, wrapping her arms around her and sliding her hands up and over her stomach as she laid her chin on Kira’s shoulder. “I’m never leaving. I don’t care what you say – I don’t care what’s easy or hard. Darkness isn’t all you are – you’re also kind, and strong, and impressive, and determined, and funny, and sexy. You have to stop telling me to leave. Seriously, it doesn’t work. I don’t want to leave, I want to marry you.”

Shepard turned around to face her, studying her eyes. “You want to… marry me?”

Faith smiled and blushed. “Well we’ve only been dating for like three years and I’m not tired of you yet, so I-“ She was cut off as Kira kissed her, not that she minded.

Kira pulled back and looked in her eyes again. “You’re sure? I mean… completely sure? Me?”

Faith laughed. “Yes, I’m sure!”

Shepard grinned. “Then let’s do it.”

“You mean it?” Faith beamed, but quickly gave her a wary frown. “Wait, does this mean I have to have sex with you?”

Kira rolled her eyes and pushed her up against the wall. “Let me remind you what we’ve been doing for those three years.”

Faith grinned as Shepard pinned her and started kissing her neck. “Oh, right…”

Mass Effect

September 5, 2174

Inter-Relay Text Chat Logs

LawBringer: Seems secure.

FaithfulAngel: Yeah, I get why you’re worried someone will spy on our chat about my love life. THE HORROR!

LawBringer: It’s just a habit, okay? You’re the one who wanted to chat instead of mail anyway. Now what is this about?

FaithfulAngel: Oh, right – I’m getting married!

LawBringer: You’re what?! Congratulations, when did this happen?

FaithfulAngel: Last night!

LawBringer: It’s hard to imagine what she did based on what I know about her.

FaithfulAngel: Oh, haha, no, we don’t do anything normally. It was just a ‘we should do that’ sort of thing. Frankly we’re already about as married as you can get.

LawBringer: Did you celebrate at all? One of my co-workers had some sort of party.

FaithfulAngel: You didn’t go?

LawBringer: I don’t like many co-workers.

FaithfulAngel: Why am I not surprised? Anyway, no, there’s no way Kira would enjoy anything close to a party. Although we did have our own party last night~

LawBringer: I really don’t need to hear about that one.

FaithfulAngel: Aww, come on, Miranda – it was really hot!

LawBringer: I’m sure it was.

FaithfulAngel: First she pushed me against the wall

LawBringer: FAITH!

FaithfulAngel: Then she did this thing with her hands that makes me

LawBringer: [USER DISCONNECTED]

FaithfulAngel: Ahahahaha, too easy!

End of recorded log

Mass Effect

July 3, 2175

Faith backed up into a corner, looking at the armored soldiers that had her surrounded. She gave them a bright smile. “You guys look kind of cool, you know that?”

“You seem pretty calm for someone who’s about to be thrown into a back room on a remote world and tortured,” one of them said menacingly through his helmet.

“Oh, I don’t think I wanna do that,” Faith said with a shake of her head. “I should probably tell you guys that I’m just the distraction. What you should really do is…” The door was suddenly ripped open and Shepard burst in like a tornado, sending the soldiers flying in all directions as Faith giggled and finished, “…meet my wife.”

Before the soldiers could even get off the floor Shepard and Faith had picked up their weapons and held them at gunpoint. Shepard smiled at Faith. “This is the last group of them. Good job.”

“So we’re done here?” Faith beamed at Shepard’s nod. “That means we’re done on this planet!”

“Which means we get time off for your birthday next week,” Shepard said, watching their own soldiers come in and start moving the captured ones out. “Anywhere specific you want to go?”

Faith grinned. “How about somewhere far away from action like this? Like the Citadel, or Illium!”

Shepard thought about it for a moment. “We’ve got enough money saved up since we never spend it. Either one is viable.”

“’Viable’. You’re so romantic with your words!”

Kira smirked. “It’s your birthday. You only turn twenty-one once; where’s it gonna be?”

“Well I did always want to see the Citadel… And there’s so much to do there, it’d be perfect!”

“Citadel it is, then.”

Five days later they were on a ship approaching the Citadel. Taking time off was something Shepard didn’t often do, which was one of the reasons Faith was so excited. While Faith was pressed up against the window watching their approach and the looming station, Shepard was instead watching her. She smiled every time Faith grinned at her, chuckling at her ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’. She’d never been to the Citadel either, but she just didn’t have the childlike awe that her wife did, so she found it a lot more entertaining to watch her – Faith’s joy was her reward.

As their ship docked, Faith grabbed Kira’s wrist and pulled her towards the exit, wasting no time. They made it through customs with no trouble, having left all their weapons behind – not that they would need them if they encountered trouble. They’d arrived at one of the Wards, and inside was a tapestry of light and sound. Faith stood with Kira’s hand in hers as she looked around, turning in a circle. “There’s so much! What do we do first?”

“This trip is about you,” Kira replied. “Whatever you want.”

Faith looked at her. “What about you?”

Kira smiled. “All I want is to see you happy. Pick whatever does that.”

Faith returned the smile and leaned up to kiss her. “But you’re already here.”

Kira chuckled. “Then pick something on top of that.”

“Okay!” Faith turned around and grinned. “How much money do we have?”

“Quite a bit. Several years’ paid on two salaries.”

“Shopping it is!”

Shepard laughed as she was pulled along through the crowd of people to the first shop. As they entered, a recorded voice stated the name of a turian commander she recognized along with the statement, “and this is my favorite store on the Citadel!” Shepard scoffed at it. “What a sell-out. Who would do that sort of ad?”

“Someone unscrupulous, I’m sure.”

“Didn’t you say you were going to merchandise me?”

“…Yeah, but that’ll be classy.”

“You mentioned plushies.”

“Classy plushies.”

“I don’t think you know what ‘classy’ means.”

“Doesn’t it mean ‘something with a great ass’?”

“My plushies are going to have a great ass?”

“Well they have to be realistic!”

“I’m just going to take that as a compliment and let it go.”

“That would be wise.”

They came out of the first shop with Faith holding up a small bag full of water, watching a bright blue fish swim around inside. “That thing will never survive,” Kira stated.

“Shh!” Faith shot a glare at her. “Quiet, Kira, you’ll scare Pemberforth J. Esquire!”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Third.”

“I can’t believe that of the two of us, you’re the sane one.”

“Not sane, just saner than you.”

“Alright, well your fish is apparently licensed to practice law.”

“Is that what ‘esquire’ means? I just thought it sounded fancy.”

“It can go either way.”

“Good. Well, he’s a fancy fish.”

“Of course he is.”

Faith stuck her tongue out at Kira. “Pemberforth and I do not care for your sarcasm.”

“Am I second to a fish now? Is that what’s happening?”

“Not just any fish. A fancy fish. Anyway, I  think that since we’re getting our own place, we need to make it homier.”

“Alright, well in that case I welcome Pemberforth.”

Faith grinned. “The mere fact that you’ll say that name proves you love me.”

“And don’t forget it.”

Mass Effect

February 7, 2176

Elysium

It was a quiet morning, and Kira and Faith had a slow day. Elysium – despite the planet’s colony being only sixteen years old – was a very populous and high-traffic planet, with sprawling development and a population in the millions; this meant that their team had a lot of options for things to do, and were all out doing them along with all the other marines on leave. That left Kira and Faith to entertain themselves, which of course they had no trouble doing. After spending several hours in a private room, they finally made it outside, deciding to head to the city.

There was no early warning – as soon as the fighting began in orbit, transports were already entering the atmosphere. Everything went to chaos in minutes, and every member of the military on or near the planet got the same call – batarians. A huge force was entering from the Skyllian Verge, smashing into Alliance resistance and flooding onto the planet, targeting civilian centers. For Faith and Kira, they heard the warnings before they saw the evidence – they’d been inside a shop when they heard, and heading out onto the street they saw three shuttles coming down, unloading their soldiers – who began firing on every citizen in sight. One tossed a grenade into a store, laughing at the explosion and the screams.

Shepard’s eyes filled with rage as she saw the fighting start. “Batarians.” Faith heard the word she let out in a growl, but was unable to react before Kira was already off and running. Faith didn’t even bother yelling after her – she just followed. Words weren’t going to get through to her wife right now, so she let her own anger take over – what the batarians were doing was wrong on every level.

The first batarian that saw Shepard coming opened fire, but she used her biotics to rip up a piece of rubble and block it. She wasn’t wearing armor, had no shields, and only carried a pistol – but she wasn’t about to stop or even slow down. She wasn’t going to let those monsters keep killing. As she approached the shuttles she felt a familiar feeling – Faith had raised a barrier around her. Trusting in her wife, Shepard launched the piece of rubble ahead of her, feeling a sense of satisfaction as it smashed into a batarian, killing him on the spot. This drew the attention of others, who turned their rifles on her, but Shepard wasn’t worried.

To her left, a group of batarians were suddenly thrown together and lifted into the air as Faith’s Singularity formed between them; to her right, another group checked their weapons as they refused to fire, overheated by Faith’s skill. That left the group ahead of her, and they didn’t last long. Shepard leapt and came down in the middle of them with a biotic shockwave that threw them all into the air. She caught one in midair and yanked him back to the ground, stomping on his throat as she caught his rifle. She threw a warp into Faith’s Singularity, detonating it and shattering the bones of the batarians it held. In the same movement she spun and let out a shockwave towards the group whose guns had just cooled down, scattering them. She then let out a burst of fire to kill the ones on the ground around her before tossing the rifle to her right and catching another.

Faith caught the rifle just as she arrived, skidding to a stop with her back against Kira’s. The two of them let loose, firing in every direction and using biotics to defend themselves or distract or stun groups. More shuttles were arriving, but some of them were letting out Alliance troops, and more were coming in ground vehicles. The Alliance was pulling together in record time, organizing a defense utilizing every available resource; overhead the Agincourt had just arrived, and they could see the explosions as it eradicated batarian ships one by one. Shepard had never been more grateful for the reliability of the Alliance Navy, but they didn’t have much time to think it over.

Garret and Rade ran over to them, having arrived in one of the ground vehicles. “Shepard, Faith!” Garret slid to a stop near them. “Man I’m glad to see you two are alive.”

“Can you believe this?” Rade shook her head. “These bastards are attacking us! Our planet! Tell me we’re going to kill them.”

“We’re going to kill them,” Shepard said coldly as she and Faith tossed aside their rifles and took the Alliance weapons a soldier handed them.

“Where are Leon and Roland?” Faith asked, looking around.

“About twenty miles east,” Garret answered. “They’re helping with the defense there.”

“Good.” Shepard looked at them. “I’m going after their staging area. Moore, Rade – you two stay here and get this defense going,” she ordered, listening to the comm chatter talking about the ground the batarians had already taken.

“Yes, Ma’am!”

“Sir!”

Kira looked to her right. “Faith-“

“I’m going with you,” Faith said, giving her a determined look that said she’d take no argument.

Shepard smiled a little. “Understood. Let’s get going.” She looked back at the other two. “Be careful.”

“Give that warning to the batarians,” Rade said as she hefted a massive launcher and shouldered it.

Garret gave her an odd look before turning back to Shepard and Faith. “Don’t get yourselves killed now.”

“That’s not my plan,” Shepard assured him as she and Faith took an aircar and took off.

Minutes later they were back on foot, approaching a large building the batarians had taken over. “We’re ignoring orders,” Faith said quietly as she listened to Alliance transmissions.

“And?”

“Just thought it was funny.”

“Elysium will not be Mindoir,” Shepard said with conviction, marching right for the building’s main entrance.

“Please just… don’t let the revenge thing kill you,” Faith pleaded. “I know what you’re thinking of doing, but I’ve got an idea – if you’re willing to listen.”

Kira stopped and looked back at Faith, hesitating for a moment. She looked back at the building, clenching her fist tightly. She was being selfish… she knew that. She heard the fear in Faith’s voice, and decided that there were things more important to her than revenge. She let out a sigh, forcing herself to relax as she turned to Faith. “Alright, let’s go with your idea.”

Faith gave a relieved smile and hugged her. “Thank you.”

Kira didn’t even look back at the batarian compound as she returned the embrace. “I’m not going to die,” she assured her wife, “so long as you don’t.”

Mass Effect

Miranda felt a level of anger that was rare when it wasn’t directed at her father. She watched the screen with a barely-contained rage, though on the outside she appeared far calmer. “They’ve never been this brazen before. A raid here or there, small attacks on remote colonies – but nothing this big, look at how many there are! To make this kind of directed strike against humanity is unforgivable.”

“The batarians have made a mistake,” The Illusive Man assured her, watching his own screens in some unknown location. “Humanity is stronger than they know – they won’t get away with this.”

“They won’t.” Miranda turned back to her screen as TIM cut communications, likely to begin working on plans to respond to this. In the meantime, she felt different emotions as a camera showed footage of Alliance soldiers fighting in the streets; she recognized two of them. Kira Shepard and Faith Victus stood out easily – they had no armor and were in civilian clothes, but weren’t easily mistaken for civilians. The camera cut away soon after, but Miranda’s thoughts remained on them. “They’re going to pay for this,” she said out loud, mentally promising to put in for whatever mission The Illusive Man had planned for the batarians.

Mass Effect

The building that had been transformed into a batarian compound was a rush of activity; there were several places around the planet that they’d set up in, and each one was set up as a staging area for the districts around it. Batarians unloaded ammunition and equipment while others planned out where to direct their attacks. All of this was interrupted when the aircar came smashing through the front windows and exploded in the center of it all.

In the back of the building, batarians began funneling out and towards the front, leaving only the officers calling for aid, sending out warnings and trying to get things back under control. This process, too, was interrupted when two twenty-one-year-old women stepped in through a back door. No guns were fired; biotics were used exclusively, crushing lungs and hearts or breaking necks. Every batarian left in the back of the building was murdered without getting a shot off. When the last one was dead, Shepard contacted the Alliance with the location of the building and the information on the occupants. The Alliance gave them three minutes, which they assured those in command was enough for them to get out.

Shepard and Faith watched from a safe distance as an Alliance ship bombarded the building, killing every batarian inside. Shepard reflected on how, several years ago, that would have meant everything to her, the simple joy of seeing them die – but as she stood there, she found herself simply feeling relieved. She was relieved that Faith was still standing next to her. Part of her had wanted to just lose herself in the violence, but that part was quieted by the fear of putting Faith in that kind of danger… And even her lack of caring about her own life was shrinking, due to the pain she knew her death would cause.