Now she kisses me back and never once does she question why I do this. Why I seek her out after a stressful day on the set, press her against a wall where no one can see us, and do things to her with my mouth and hands. I want her to ask, to beg me to stop. I want to hurt her and destroy her, but she never raises a finger of protest. Only...
My eyes trail down to her hand, pale and lovely with youth, as it clenches the key that hung around her neck. I knew what it meant to her, yet I could never tell if her clenching it as she did when we were together was her way of cutting off her connection to it; protecting it from what we did, or if she did it out of fear. It was the only thing that made me regret this hatred and revenge against her. It was not enough to stop me from continuing. Though, it did take effort not to admit that what I was doing to her, what I told myself was for revenge, was really something I did because...
"Eiko?"
Chiyoko never spoke when we did this, so with a keen look, I pull away and watch her intently.
"What?"
Her large brown eyes turn up to me and I can feel a knot in my throat that I swallow down only to feel it thick and heavy in my stomach. A flutter in my chest hints at my subconscious thoughts but I refused to give those thoughts life.
"Do you... Could you?" Chiyoko blushes.
"Could I what?" The words are out of my mouth even though my heart has begun to beat rapidly.
"Love me?," she asks meekly.
Glancing down at Chiyoko's clenched hand, I can see it's trembling slightly. My hands tremble along with it until I ball them up into tight fists, nails biting into the meat of my palms. I let the pain try to clear my head, my resolve, but they are both shaken and frighten by the possibilities of Chiyoko's words. She isn't looking up at my face, large eyes hooded and gazing down instead, so she doesn't see the range of emotions flood my features. Surprise, sadness, anger... All conflict. Finally, I settle on looking away, with effort, making sure my voice is even and holds a hint of disgust that's as thick from force as it is from the words.
"Don't be stupid. This is only acting."
CUT!