Unable to sleep, they soon gathered their things and bid farewell to Maybine and the old doctor. They began their quest to the ruins, guided by a map the doctor had given them.
“I’m so tired,” Elisha whispered to Thea, who was walking alongside her, “I wish we’d stayed at the temple longer.”
“Luna cannot wait,” Thea said, “She’s exhausted too, but the power of love is all that is keeping her going. Pandora is all she has left.”
“She has us... and Tami,” Elisha protested, but Thea shook her head.
“We have each other, and while she still searches for Pandora, our happiness is painful to her. Tami is a loyal friend, but she belongs with Selesti. Luna is all alone without Pandora and Sanctuary. All their friends were there. Everybody they were close to is dead. All they have left is one another.”
Elisha took a long look at Luna as they climbed another in a series of steep hills. She looked as though she had aged years since Sanctuary had fallen. Her eyes, once sparkling with innocence and laughter, were now glassy and closed off. Her hair, once a vibrant pink, was dirty and tattered. Lines had appeared on her face where previously there had been none. Did I look like that when I was pining for Arietta? Elisha wondered.
“I see it!” Luna said, and she pointed to the top of the next hill. She rushed ahead of the party, spurred forward by hope and desperation. Thea, Elisha and Tami all struggled to keep up and let her go ahead.
Eventually they caught up with her, and Luna was crying, kneeling in the ruins. All that was left were a few stones of what had once been some kind of temple, and most were overgrown.
“This can’t be happening!” Luna cried, “Why did you bring me here, Fire God? Do you taunt me? Don’t you understand? If I don’t get to her she’s gonna die!” Elisha rushed to her side and put her hands on her shoulders, but Luna shrugged her off angrily.
“It’s not fair!” She turned on Elisha, “Why do you get to be happy? You moped and complained and wasted the happy times we had on Sanctuary! You even threw Arietta aside when her burdens were too much for you!”
“Luna, stop,” Tami said, “Please, we’re your friends! Don’t you think we want to find Pandora as well?”
“You don’t even know her!” Luna said, “and you two,” she looked at Thea and Elisha, “you--”
They were enveloped in a bright light, and before Luna could finish her sentence, they disappeared.
~
When Luna woke, she found herself lying on the floor of a dusty temple. She sat up dizzily and saw a black winged figure, her wings tattered, green hair hanging down limply over her face, hunched over and sitting on the steps to the dais above.
“Pandora...” Luna said, trying to sit up. The world swam dizzily around her, but she used her willpower to steady herself. “Pandora!”
As if being called from a distance, the figure lifted her head. Cuts adorned her dirty face, and dried blood was stuck to her hair, but it was definitely Pandora.
“You’re... here. Good.” Pandora tried to stand, but her legs protested shakily and she sat back down, “Sorry...” she said. “Can’t...”
Luna’s legs wouldn’t work either. She looked around for her friends but none of them seemed to be present, so she pulled herself across the ground with her hands, her uniform becoming as dirty as the floor. It took a while, and her hands were cracked and bleeding, but Luna reached Pandora and put her arm around Pandora’s leg, hugging it tightly.
“I thought I’d lost you...” Luna said, starting to cry, “I wouldn’t want to go on in this world without you.”
“I need... more power,” Pandora said, “I need to... get revenge...”
Luna pulled herself up onto the steps and sat beside Pandora, “Revenge can wait, Pandy. You’re hurt. You need to rest.”
“There can be no rest!” Her voice still held traces of that otherworldly voice, though it was weaker now, “Not until the Moral Revolution is wiped from the world! Not until I have vengeance for our friends! For our home!”
Luna reached over and took Pandora’s hand in her own, “There are bigger concerns now, Pandora. Demons are spilling into our world from that portal you opened.”
“So what,” Pandora said, “It’s what this planet deserves.” She grasped Luna’s shoulders with a strong grip, “They took it from us, Luna. Our home. Our friends! They should suffer!”
“I don’t want any more suffering,” Luna said. “I just want Pandora back. My Pandora! I don’t want to destroy anything!” She flung her arms around Pandora, “I just want to be with you... Otherwise I have nothing left to live for.”
Tami, Elisha and Thea appeared in a shower of light, and fell to the ground. They pulled themselves to their knees.
“Pandora!” Elisha cried, “You’re safe!”
“What does it matter...” Pandora said, “Everything we fought for, everything we worked for... it’s all gone. How do you keep walking? How do you keep caring? I’ve seen you, wandering this world. Why does it matter? Sanctuary is gone. Our friends are dead. We are all that remain, and we’ll be hunted. Not a day will pass where we can sleep in safety. We’ll all end up like Arietta - sad, lonely, broken people, raped and tortured until we don’t know who we are anymore. We’ll all betray each other and the promises we made. Yet still you come here, seeking to close the Gate. Why? Why do you want to save them? They voted for this. They watched us get taken away, get hurt. They let the Moral Revolution get this kind of power, helped them unearth the ruins...”
“It was a question I asked, long ago, when handed the power to destroy the world,” Thea said, “The answer was simple. I didn’t unleash hell on this world because not all people are bad. The good shouldn’t have to suffer because of the actions of the cruel. Our home is gone, but others like us still exist. Our dreams are not yet destroyed.”
“Selesti had thousands of women devoted to the cause,” Tami said, “We can work together, seek a new Sanctuary. It doesn’t have to end here.”
Pandora stood, shakily, “I can’t believe how quickly you can all forget those faces. Lena, whose dog was about to give birth. May, who told the greatest jokes. Sashiko, who listened to all our concerns. Our friends. Our family. I can’t just start again. They were everything to me!” Power started to swirl around her again.
“Pandora, you have to stop this!” Luna said, “If you keep this up, you’ll die! Nobody can keep this kind of power going forever, even an Ancient!”
“If I die, you’ll be the only one who misses me,” Pandora said, “Even then, you’ll move on, as you’ve all done so well already.”
“Of course we miss Sanctuary,” Elisha said, “I haven’t even began to grieve. I’ve been holding it in, holding back the enormity of it. To know we can never go home again...”
“It was my dream, Maia’s dream,” Thea said, “I spent my entire life’s work looking for it. I refuse to believe it’s gone. I won’t let it be gone...”
“I keep thinking that we’ll all be going home soon,” Luna said, “And then I realize we won’t, that we can’t... I want revenge, but more than that... I just want everybody back!”
The power surrounding Pandora started to dissipate, and she slumped back down on the steps, head hunched over. Luna saw water falling into the dust, and realized Pandora was crying.
“I have all this power,” Pandora cried, “I can tear open dimensions, I can heal the sick, I can destroy a ship with the wave of my hand and burn a forest to ashes with no more than a thought. But I can’t bring it back! I just want to bring it back!” She slumped into Luna’s arms then, and Luna held her tightly as she sobbed, letting out all the pain and fear into her wife’s arms. Luna cried too, and as she looked over, she saw there wasn’t a dry eye amongst them. Even Tami, who had never been to Sanctuary, had tears rolling down her cheeks.
“We can’t bring it back,” Luna said, “Even though we would give anything...”
“All we can do is keep looking,” Elisha said, “Keep looking for a place where we can be safe, keep finding others like us, keep fighting back against the Moral Revolution. It’s all we have left... that one dream and each other.” Thea’s hand was on her shoulder, and slipped down to take her hand and grasp it firmly, “For the ones we’ve lost, we have to go on.”
“She’s right,” Luna whispered, “Sashiko, May, Lena, and everybody else... They wouldn’t want this. If you defeat the Moral Revolution with this power, then nobody will ever understand why they were wrong, and they’ll come back twice as strong.”
“Demons are pouring into this dimension...” Pandora said, “I did it. I opened the Gate. I wanted everybody to feel my pain, so I ripped open a hole to the worst dimension I could think of...” She put her head in her hands, “It’s a mistake I cannot undo. The Ancients banished them from our world millennia ago and I tore apart the seal with one angry curse. The demons will destroy this world, no doubt about it.”
“That’s not true,” Elisha said. The others looked at her. Elisha looked down at the ground, “A demon visited me... on the beach. He spoke to me. He said the Gate can be closed, but only at the Ancient Citadel, and the one who opened the Gate must give their life to create a new seal.”
Luna clung to Pandora’s arm, “No! I won’t let that happen!”
“There’s no choice,” Pandora said, “What I have done must be undone if this world is to survive. The demons warred with the Ancients and were a match for them. They will destroy ordinary humans without a second thought. I did this. I have to undo it. For Sashiko and everybody who died... I can’t be the cause of more pain.”
“What about me?” Luna said, “I’m your wife! Don’t I get a say before you sacrifice yourself? I don’t want to live in this world without you! I don’t want to roam the world, fearful of the Moral Revolution, without you at my side! You don’t care about my feelings at all, do you?”
“Luna...” Pandora took her face in her hands and gently stroked away the tears with her fingers, “Of course I care. You’re the reason I want to save this world. We’ll find a way, Luna. We’ll go to the Ancient Citadel and we’ll find a way to close the Gate without sacrifice.”
“Do you promise?” Luna asked, her eyes almost looking hopeful.
“...I promise,” Pandora said. She look Luna into her arms and held her tightly.
“The Ancient Citadel...” Thea said, “It won’t be easy. It’s at the heart of Garania. The Moral Revolution will be after us every step of the way.”
“We have to go,” Elisha said, “If we can’t get the Gate closed, the demons will overrun us.”
“We should rest,” Tami said, “Pandora, is it safe here?”
“I have been here for several days,” Pandora said, “It appears to be safe for now. I would avoid exploring too much, though there is a library. Thea, can you read the Ancient Language?”
“Yes”, Thea said, “It’s been a while, but I still remember. I will look at the books later.”
They made camp in the main hall, and Thea, Elisha and Tami were asleep before Luna even noticed. She was looking at Pandora’s black wings, “I didn’t know you had wings,” Luna said, “You’ve never shown them to me before.”
“They’re not real,” Pandora said, “At least, not truly a part of my physical body. My magic went out of control and transformed me into this. I don’t know if the change is permanent. There’s a lot I don’t know about my powers...” She sat still, looking down at the ground, “Luna, I killed a lot of people. I destroyed the White Ship. I even hurt you, and left you behind to die... I could have called you here at any time, but I waited... I wanted to hear your cry, to know that you still cared...”
“It’s okay,” Luna said, “In many ways, I understand your reaction to Sanctuary’s destruction the most. You were the one who was really able to understand what it meant in that moment. I’m still struggling with the thought that we’ll never go home again.”
“I understand why my people feared me so much,” Pandora said, “I never knew I held this kind of power, but I guess they saw it. They were right to cast me out. All I bring to any place is darkness and destruction.”
“That’s not true!” Luna said, “You were right to be angry. Our home was destroyed!”
“You don’t have to justify it,” Pandora said, “I let my anger and pain get control of me, and made a bad situation worse. Now they have to risk their lives to put it right again.” She pointed to the sleeping forms of Elisha, Thea and Tami.
“Elisha and Thea are the reason we’re here in the first place,” Luna said, “If they’d just gotten their feelings in order before ordering this wild chase for Arietta, Sanctuary would still be there!”
“That wound festers, love,” Pandora said, “You have to let it go, somehow, before it transforms you, my innocent, sweet Luna, into something you no longer recognize. You know they never wanted this to happen. They blame themselves, I’m sure of it -- don’t add to that burden. They’re our friends, Luna. They’re all we have left in the world. Don’t close your heart to them, or you’ll hurt people, just like I did.”
They curled up and slept, Luna’s arms wrapped protectively around Pandora, who fell into a deep sleep. Elisha cried out in the night, and Tami hugged her blanket, wondering if Selesti was safe.
~
When Pandora woke, she found the others had been awake long before her and had been getting ready for the trip. She found Thea in the library.
“Any luck?” she asked, as she saw Thea pondering the texts.
“These are mostly history books,” Thea said, “I was reading about the Ancients’ war with the demons. Seems the demons were once Ancients who used their powers in anger, transforming themselves and opening the path to untold power. The Ancients, considering this dangerous, tried to stop the demons, and this started a war between those who wanted to use magic freely and those who wanted to keep it under control. The battle raged for hundreds of years, and ended with a truce under which they decided they had to live apart. The demons were exiled to another dimension, and the Gate was created to seal them there.”
“They were once human... and they transformed their bodies with their powers used in rage...” Pandora looked at herself, “I’m a demon.”
“Don’t say that,” Thea said, “You were angry because you lost your home! That doesn’t make you wicked. You have a good heart.”
“Perhaps the demons aren’t wicked,” Pandora said, “One spoke to Elisha. That means they’re not that far removed from sense, or they would have just torn her to shreds.”
“Perhaps,” Thea said, “Regardless, demons have been attacking people and settlements. Elisha, Tami and Arietta faced them on the way to Manheim Island.”
“Who knows what thousands of years locked away from this world was like for them?” Pandora said, “I know what it’s like, to be exiled from your home for your powers... but I know, we have to close the Gate. The people here don’t hold the power of magic any more. The demons would rule this world, even if they’re not necessarily evil.”
“Right,” Thea said, “It’s tempting though, isn’t it? To think that they might defeat the Moral Revolution for us.”
“Luna was right,” Pandora said, “No matter how frustratingly slow change comes, we have to wait, or it won’t stick. If she can be patient, so can I. After all, I’m the one who’s immortal.”
~
They left the temple to see the surrounding forest was still ablaze, like in Luna’s vision.
“Did you do this?” Luna asked Pandora, and she nodded.
“I would put the fire out, but my powers have subsided. I’m not angry any more. I guess we’ll just have to wait for nature to take its course.” Pandora sighed. I’m a demon. I used my anger to fuel powers of death and destruction.
“We need to get through,” Elisha said, “Unless you can take us back with magic, Pandora?”
“I can only bring people to my current location, not return them,” Pandora said, “I’m sorry. I might be able to freeze some of the fire, but it won’t last...”
“We need to get through the forest,” Thea said, “Pandora, if we make you angry, will you be able to use your supercharged powers?”
“Maybe...” Pandora said.
“You can’t ask her to do that!” Luna said, “Do you want her to go out of control?”
“I won’t,” Pandora said, “I let myself lose control last time. Nothing you could say could be as bad as losing Sanctuary, don’t worry.”
“Then, um... Pandora, we hate you?” Elisha tried, but she lacked conviction, and Pandora laughed.
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” Pandora said.
“You’re a demon!” Thea said. The others looked at Thea, but she simply put a finger up to hush them.
Pandora felt the words as they reverberated through her memories. You’re a demon! The villagers had screamed at her. Inhuman! A monster! She’s a devil! Kill her! Cast her out! Pandora’s eyes turned purple and power gathered around her. She draw her arms in and dark clouds shifted in. Thrusting her hands up at the sky, it started to rain, huge droplets of water such as they had never seen.
“Take cover!” Elisha said, ducking back into the doorway of the temple with the others as the torrent descended. The fire was washed away, along with several trees until Pandora pulled her arms down and the rain stopped. She was drenched to the bone.
“Let’s go back inside and change,” Luna suggested.
Pandora’s wings still hung behind her, wet, blackened and broken, the feathers ripped and shredded. I’m starting to feel like they’re a part of me... that my transformation is permanent. If I keep using my rage to fuel my powers, what will I become? With that thought on her mind, she followed the others inside.
~
The rain had caused the ashen forest to turn to mud and soon their fresh clothes were wetter than their old ones.
“According to the map, we should reach Haven’s End as soon as we break through this forest,” Luna said.
“It’s not going to be safe there,” Thea said, “The Moral Revolution took it.”
“Yet somehow we’re going to have to get there and board a ship if we want to get to Garania,” Tami said, “There’s no other way. We’re a long way from Manheim, where we left our boat.”
“It was Arietta’s boat anyway,” Luna said, “Maybe she’ll need it someday. We’ll get by okay.”
You’re not the one we’re worried about was what Elisha wanted to say, but she couldn’t say it out loud without hurting Luna’s feelings. Just how are we going to get a winged mage on board a passenger ship going to the heart of Garania, though?
They kept walking, each lost in their own thoughts about the journey ahead, until they saw Haven’s End on the horizon.
The last time I was here, it was with Arietta at my side, Elisha thought. She remembered how they’d talked about Twilight and how Elisha had named her sword. Elisha wondered if Arietta still called her sword Faith. Faith was what had brought the Moral Revolution to power, wasn’t it? Faith hadn’t saved Arietta in her darkest moments, nor did she have much of it left in the human spirit. Feeling guilty for thinking of Arietta, Elisha looked at Thea. She looked tired, but still had the grace and elegance she was known for, that had made her a natural leader. She had fallen into step again as their leader, it just always seemed natural to follow her. Yet on Sanctuary, you slipped away into the shadows. I haven’t seen this part of you in such a long time.
Knowing that Haven’s End probably had a curfew, they made camp a few miles outside. Pandora was disturbed to see the flames had come this far. Will I get to Haven’s End to find I turned the city to ashes?
Luna was glad to change her clothes and warm up around a campfire. Her mood had improved a lot since finding Pandora, and she seemed to spend every waking hour by her side, even if Pandora seemed quiet and subdued.
“Elisha, you and Tami should go into town and scout. Your faces are less well-known, and you can bring back details of the situation there.”
“We’ll go at first light,” Elisha said, “I have some plain traveling clothes, I will simply say that I am a traveler seeking passage to Garania with my friend.”
After the others settled down, Elisha and Thea sat and watched the embers burn down.
“Do you suppose it will even be possible to sneak Pandora onto a ship?” Elisha asked. “Those wings are not going to be easy to hide.”
“This whole mission seems impossible, but we’ve done the impossible before,” Thea said, “We have to get to the Citadel. Only then will we know what the price will be to close the Gate.”
“Thea, what are you not telling me?” Elisha asked.
“When the Gate was originally created and the demons sealed into the other dimension, one of the Ancients sacrificed their life to create the seal. It takes the power of a human spirit to seal a gate between dimensions, the will of a soul, according to the books I read last night. I don’t see how we’re going to get around it.”
“Pandora made a promise to Luna. I won’t let her break it!” Elisha said.
“Neither will I,” Thea said. She looked at Luna and Pandora, sleeping peacefully. “It’s my fault we’re all here, that Sanctuary’s gone, that the Gate is open. I encouraged you to find Arietta. It should be my place.”
“I won’t let you!” Elisha said. “Never!”
“I’ve lived a long, full life,” Thea said, “Many more lifetimes than any of you have ever seen. I’ve had my dreams and lost them, and I have no desire to go back to searching for Sanctuary. I’m tired, Elisha. Perhaps it’s time to stop running and do something good for the world. I almost destroyed it too, once.”
“I love you,” Elisha said, “but you don’t believe me, do you?”
“I believe you,” Thea said, “but you’ll never love me like I love you. Arietta will always own a place in your heart, a place I can never touch. You only saw me once she was gone.”
“That’s not true,” Elisha said, “I told you that. Why don’t you believe me?”
“Because I’ve seen too much, and lived too long,” Thea said.
“So you’ll just give yourself up as a sacrifice? I won’t allow it!” Elisha said. She kissed Thea angrily, forcing her down to the muddy earth, pulling down her pants. Her fingers found wetness, and Thea’s back arched as Elisha rubbed, then moved down and licked. Her fingers slid inside Thea and she thrust them in and out as she licked hungrily, taking all she wanted. Thea tried to cry out in pleasure and Elisha stopped for a second, ripping a piece of her cloak off and trying it around Thea’s mouth so she couldn’t scream and wake the others. Thea came, her muffled cries sounding like an earthquake in the silent forest. Elisha’s anger was fading, but then Thea got the upper hand and wrestled her to the ground. Thea pulled up Elisha’s shirt and took a nipple in her mouth, sucking on it while she played with the other one. Elisha squirmed, but Thea had a dangerous but playful glint in her eyes.
“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” Thea whispered in her ear, “I’m going to take as long as I want.” She found a small tree branch and put it in Elisha’s mouth so she could bite on it and stifle her cries. Then she kissed down her body and teasingly licked Elisha until Elisha was begging and clawing at the mud beneath her. Finally, Thea let her come, and she thought Elisha was going to break the branch. She chuckled as she removed it and saw the bite marks.
“Wow. I never knew you could be so dominating,” Thea said, afterwards, as they lay in the warm mud, “That was incredible.”
“I mean it, Thea... don’t die on me,” Elisha said, and Thea could see the tears building up in her eyes. She stroked Elisha’s hair.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “We’ll find another way.”
“Promise me we’ll make another White Ship when all this is over. That we’ll go on a journey to find a new Sanctuary,” Elisha said. Thea could see the desperation in her eyes, the fear, sorrow and loneliness that had always been hidden beneath Elisha’s surface.
“You know I can’t promise anything,” Thea said, “The world needs--”
“Screw the world!” Elisha said, so angrily that Thea was worried she woke the others, “Why do we have to save the world? It turned its back on us! All I want is to be with you, like we used to be, sailing around the world, finding others like us, building a family of friends who understand us. Long before I met Arietta, I had a crush on you. I admired you. You were my personal hero, but there was always a distance between you and I. You were the mysterious leader and I was just a refugee who shared your vision. Then I met Arietta, and it was only through that journey that I learned more about you, about Maia. I let my feelings go but I never stopped admiring you, even while I loved Arietta. Then we made it to Sanctuary and you showed your true colors, becoming a black sheep in a world of white. Arietta left me and my sorrow tainted me in the eyes of others and suddenly you who I admired was my equal. It never really felt right without you being in charge. I want to be your second in command again, at the helm of the White Ship. It want it to be our dream again.”
“You always reminded me a little bit of Maia,” Thea confessed, “Always full of dreams, but never so pure that you were out of reach, like Arietta used to be. I know what you saw in her, but she always made me feel so old, so tainted by the world. But you... you dreamt just enough for me to love you, but never held yourself higher than anyone. I’ve loved you for a long time, but I always thought I was too old, and I wasn’t done grieving for Maia. Then I found her body, and I started to let go after getting that closure. By then it was too late, and you were already falling for Arietta, so I let it alone. Then she left, and I thought I had all the time in the world to make you mine.”
“I’m yours. Perhaps I’ve been yours for longer than I knew,” Elisha said, “Either way, I won’t let you throw your life away.” She sat up. “Let’s go to the stream and wash off. I can’t sleep covered in this muck.”
They made their way to the stream and washed, coming back to the camp naked, hand in hand. Pandora saw them come back. We came all this way for Arietta, the girl who inspired us all. Finding her in grief, we abandon ship and live our lives without her. Is this how the world works? Will Luna abandon me when she finds out I’m a demon? Even now, her anger and guilt made the power stir inside her. I can’t put the lid back on this bottle. I fear the damage is done, the transformation inevitable. Will they still love me if I am damaged and broken, or will I go back to being a hated being in a hateful world? She felt her wings healing, the broken feathers falling out and fresh new ones growing in. I feel a little less human each time I feel this rage. She held Luna tightly, as if clinging to a piece of driftwood in the ocean. I’m scared, Luna. Don’t let me slip away. Don’t leave me, like you all left Arietta. Please don’t leave me alone.
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