Chapter 35: New Life
*We always find a way.*
Logan grunted while he fiddled with the wires. A wrong connection sparked enough electricity to jolt him, prompting his fist to smash into the offending device. “Sonovabitch!”
*Don’t talk. Just think. Talking takes up oxygen we don’t have.*
*Sonovabitch!* he mentally repeated.
After poking at the machine, Jean shrugged at him. *I think that was the climate control unit.*
*Hmph. Could’ve used that.*
Indeed they could’ve. Trapped in the bowels of Asteroid M, the two explored every avenue of escape but came up empty. The shell, the supposed Weapons Plus station, floated away long ago and left the rocky formation to drift toward the sun. Unprotected, the harsh rays would eat up the asteroid and their lives.
No propulsion. No life support. No escape. The overbearing heat and stale air weighed on their hopes and bodies. They worked, but each passing moment made them more desperate. Logan peeled the remains of his uniform away; Jean stripped to her bra.
*Got a question for ya, Red.*
Muscles weakened and head foggy, Jean sat herself down and motioned for her friend to ask away.
*I know ya got the Phoenix in ya. I know everyone back at the flamin’ mansion’s pissin’ their pants cuz they think you’re going to kill the universe. I’m just wonderin’ why you ain’t ridin’ the Phoenix Airways n’ flying us outta here.*
*The Phoenix doesn’t work that way.*
*Then how does it work?*
Memories wheeled themselves into Jean’s consciousness and she struggled to make them coherent. *Ever since I was thirteen, I found out I could control matter. I started lifting pencils and socks, but with the Professor’s help, I did much more. Now, with the Phoenix, I’m learning to control molecules and atoms, the very fabric of existence.*
*You could be all powerful,* he said. *You could make worlds and set right what’s wrong.*
*The Phoenix doesn’t create--it destroys. It... it judges and burns away what shouldn’t be there. It talks to me, tells me things, but if I get too close, it replaces me.* She buried her head in her sweaty arms. *Ask Betsy. She’s felt the Phoenix before.*
*Sure, I’ll ask Betts once you fly us outta here.*
*Logan, I can’t fly, not the way you’re thinking of it. The Phoenix might be part of me, but I still need water and air. I said I could manipulate molecules, but space is an empty vacuum. I can’t manipulate nothing.*
Suddenly, another explosion shook Asteroid M and threw a standing Logan into the control panel he’d slashed earlier. Not hurt but mighty frustrated, the man roared at the broken technology and wailed on it again, pounding the metal and circuit boards till his knuckles revealed shiny adamantium. It stuttered pitifully before giving up and shutting down.
A final boot expelled the last of his wrath. *There’s gotta be a way out. I’ll make one if I have to.*
While Wolverine raged, Jean stared off into the distance, what little clothes clinging to her toned body and thoroughly soaked. All kinds of thoughts flashed through her mind and she voiced one of them. *The Professor was so terrified earlier when he screamed about traitors. Maybe Magneto had something to do with it?*
*Probably,* snorted Logan, *Somebody’s been undermining us at the school. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it then, but y’know how hindsight is. I dunno, might as well put the blame on him, right?*
Silence.
*Jean?*
The red head sat still.
“Jeanie?”
With a confused shudder, her attention returned. *Sorry. I suddenly got this craving for a triple fudge banana split with walnuts, sprinkles, and gummy bears.*
*Gummy bears?*
*What’s wrong with gummy bears?*
*Nothin’. Myself, I like ‘em with an ice cold beer straight from the tap.*
*Everything tastes better with beer.*
*Damn straight it does.*
Too exhausted, Jean stretched onto the floor. *And what were you saying before I zoned out?*
*I smelled trouble back at the mansion. Been wonderin’ why so many of us were at each other’s necks in recent weeks. Now that we’re stuck in a deathtrap that looks a flamin’ lot like Magneto’s old house, I gotta blame him fer our troubles.* He laughed bitterly. *Or maybe I’m just going nuts. Maybe Magneto’s got nothin’ to do with anything n’ the prize goes to Tessa or Xorn or Gumbo or Pryde. I don’t know nothin’ anymore.*
A chill embraced her. Goosebumps popped up on her arms. Her brain said hot but her body said cold. *I’ve stopped sweating. That’s bad, isn’t it?*
*S’ok,* he said, padding over to where she lay, *As long as you stay awake, yer fine.*
He didn’t cradle her--that was Summer’s job. His job as a friend was to comfort, not touch. Jean didn’t make it easy being so weak and vulnerable, but Logan firmly believed in the sanctity of marriage, enough to edge away in these trying times. Sure, he’d crossed the line before, but he always stopped whenever he could.
For now, he could help it. He wished he couldn’t but he did.
*Don’t give up now, Red. The others are probably bangin’ down the doors. ‘sides, you said the Phoenix judges things. How can it let you die before it’s even finished judging our stinkin’ planet?*
*Maybe it’s finished judging and this is our fate.*
*Bullshit! When there’s a will, there’s a flamin’ way! I spent six months under glacier by eatin’ strips of me off my own arm. There’s always a way, Jeanie! Ya can’t quit on me like this!*
And Jean grinned at Logan’s knightly words. *You’re going to fight the sun for me, Logan?*
To hell with crossing the line--he pulled Jean close and brushed away the hairs covering her face. *I ain’t a good man. I kill humans and mutants, don’t matter much after shedding so much blood. I ain’t the one who should be fightin’ for your honor.* He shut his eyes. *I ain’t good enough to do that.*
A trembling hand cupped his chin. Her mental voice softened. *Now who’s b... b... b... bullshitting?* she asked. *You... you’re a great man. Doesn’t matter what you did... how you got here... I’ve seen what you did to be great.*
Somewhere in the cavernous base, metal crashed against metal, another part of the asteroid falling apart. Jean’s eyes widened. *Scott? Is that you?*
What could he say? No? *Scott n’ Hank are gonna be here soon.*
Her cold, clammy skin suddenly became hot coals. *Burning,* she moaned, worming about in his arms, *The Phoenix is here and it’s burning... judging... disinfecting. It doesn’t like what it sees...*
God, she was hallucinating. She needed to stay awake to fight away her demons. *It’s ok, Jean. Let it out, just don’t let it pull you in.*
*No! It’s burning! The voices are telling me to fall away! Blood... so much blood spilled, all the sacrifice... it’s not ENOUGH!*
He pressed his lips against her dry forehead. He didn’t even pretend that everything was ok.
Green eyes dilated and froze open. *Rachel. RACHEL! No! I... not now, I can’t. I need more time. Shut up! I said I need more time!*
A spasm gripped her and wouldn’t let go. Logan loosened his arms to let her move as she pleased. She looked like a person battling ghosts, and with the crap that she’d been through, it probably wasn’t far from the truth. Her red hair toss and turned, the last beads of sweat flung from her.
As suddenly as when she started, she stopped. The madness left her. “Logan,” her throat rasped out, “Don’t leave.”
“Never,” he replied, “I’m right beside you.”
*The Phoenix is calling to me. This is it. This is the end. Please, don’t leave.*
“Gonna stay here.”
Her whole body tensed. She coughed to chase away the nausea and unrelenting discomfort. *Don’t leave, it hurts so much.*
“I’m here, Jeanie, and I will be here fer an eternity if ya need me.”
*Good... just... good....* She almost relaxed but another shot of pain rippled through her, making her wriggle and toss and turn, albeit weakly.
Logan held her tight, as if keeping her close could keep her forever. *I’d die to save you.*
The words barely registered. *Don’t Logan... don’t...*
* I can’t make your pain my own.*
Tears fell onto her face. *It wants me... it won’t give up...*
*I’m useless, and no, I’m not a good man. I’m not good enough to love you. I’m not good enough to save us. I’m sorry.*
Nothing made sense anymore. Her soul told her things her mind couldn’t decipher. She called out to the people who loved her. *Scott? Rachel? Nathan?* In a quieter voice, *Logan?*
*I’m right here, Red, and I can only take the pain away.*
Snikt.
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- To be continued...
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