Awakening
Chapter Five: Love and Love Lost
In my nervousness, excitement, and anticipation upon freeing my emotions I had forgotten the most basic rule of my being. Failing to control my emotions on the outside could dangerous... failing to control them internally was bordering on insanity. If I had not forgotten so simple a rule this whole mess could have possibly been avoided. But then again... things probably wouldn't have ended the way they did if I had remembered...
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Turmoil...
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“It will be glor...” Starfire's words, so full of hope and conviction, faded away as I was pulled down into the confines of my mind. I looked around the high walled chamber with trepidation as coming here on my own was enough to inspire caution, being brought here against my will was something else entirely. A flicker of movement to one side was all the warning I was given before something, or rather someone, crashed into me and wrapped its thin but deceptively strong arms around me and... began to nuzzle its cheek against mine.
“Raven-chan! I missed you so muches!” a much higher pitched version of my own voice squealed happily. I pushed the figure off of me to take in the pink cloaked version of myself, noting that my hands on her shoulders were their normal ash-gray color.
“Happy?! What the hell are you doing?!”
“Trying to hug my buddy, but she's being a meanie and holding me back!” she giggled. “Oh, and it's Joy now, a lot of us got kinda smooshed together lately.” I fought back a groan and shook my head.
“No, I mean what are you doing... you know... out and around?” She looked at me mischievously for a moment before responding.
“Will you let me hug you if I tell you?” she asked with a big cheesy grin. I let out a sigh and nodded as I released her shoulders.
“Yay!” she shouted happily as she dove forward and wrapped me up in a crushing hug.
“Well?” I murmured impatiently.
“Oh fine you old fuddy duddy, I'll tell you even though you should know already. You are the one that let us all out you know!”
“What?! No I didn't!”
“Ah... yes you did!” she shot right back. “When all of monster daddy's evil was gone you left the doors wide open! I don't know why you didn't gather us all up and put us in the right places, but it's been lots of fun spending time with everybody, there's even been a new friend to play with!” she said with a wide grin before pausing and tilting her head to one side. “Haven't you noticed how you've only been focused on one emotion or another most the time?” It didn't take long for the implications to set in and suddenly everything that had happened since I'd torn down the walls around my emotions began to make a lot more sense.
“How could I have been so stupid...” I whispered, my knees giving out to the point where Joy's embrace was the only thing keeping me standing.
“Hey now, don't feel bad! You didn't know so it's not your fault! You were just acting on your base instincts... which means you're quite the little horndog judging by how popular Lust-chan has been lately,” she said with a sly wink. Even in my stunned state I couldn't help the blush that crept across my cheeks. “So cute!” she squealed, doubling her snuggling efforts. “Besides, I think you're forgetting the most important thing that's going on right now.”
“What's that?” The giddy girl released me and took a step back to give me a warm smile as she reached up to tap me on the nose.
“Star-chan's realized she loves you to pieces!” I couldn't have stopped the dopey grin from spreading across my face if I’d tried.
“Yeah, she does doesn't she... oh no... she's waiting outside and I'm still all...”
“No changing that now, not until it's all... worked out of your system, so to speak,” she said, giggling behind her hand. I reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders.
“That's Star you're talking about!”
“Well I'm not saying we're going to do nothing you silly goose, it's no fun just standing around and most of us don't even want you to go all scary you know! Me and Clever-chan already tricked Rage into a locked room that should hold her for a little while.”
“You guys did that... for me?” The girl giggled and beamed at me.
“For all of us silly! It wouldn't be much fun if you were super scary all the time!”
“What do we do?”
“It's quite simple really,” another voice said from behind me, a yellow cloaked and bespectacled Raven stepping into view. Joy quickly ran over and dive tackled the new arrival who pushed her away uninterestedly, receiving a stuck out tongue from the pink cloaked girl. “I've reached an agreement with all of the personalities in that if their desires are fulfilled they'll go willingly into their proper place. Of course most of us won't require much convincing like Joy, myself, and Timid over there,” she said, pointing to a gray cloaked figure in the shadows that waved feebly upon being noticed before retreating further.
“Well why are we standing here talking? Let's...” the yellow cloaked girl raised a hand to stop me and then used it to readjust her glasses which had slipped down her nose.
“There is a minor complication. I take it that you're opposed to Starfire being brutally ravaged by your demonic form?” Anger flushed through my system.
“What the hell kind of question is that?! Of course I don't want that to happen! I'd die before I let that happen!” I shouted, an instant dislike of this Raven beginning to build. From somewhere down the twisting halls behind her came an enraged scream.
“A simple yes would have sufficed,” she said snootily, peering uneasily over her shoulder. It took a great amount of restraint to keep from wringing the neck of this version of myself.
“She's no fun at all, is she?” Joy pouted from behind me.
“That's your department,” Clever said before turning towards me and giving me a scrutinizing look. “The only course of action we have available to us is to bring the core being of Starfire here through the Meditation Mirror and have her deal with the dissenting personalities while you try to contain your demonic form from the outside.” I shook my head.
“There's no way I'm putting Star into that type of...” Again she raised up her hand to stop me, causing my eyebrow to twitch in frustration.
“If you could satisfy all of your own desires we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. You have to realize that if you don't become whole again you're not going to be able to control this new side of yourself. You saw how it was on the rooftop, you'll become a far greater threat to the people you're protecting than the villains you're protecting them from. Believe me, not only is this the only way we're going to get through this but it's also the best way to limit the damage done. End of story.” My shoulders slumped.
“Who knew I could be such a pain in the... fine, I'll go talk to Star and see if she's willing to go through with this,” I muttered sullenly.
“We both know she will,” Clever started in that all knowing drawl of hers, “but just to make sure you don't say something stupid and ruin everything I'll merge with you now,” she finished, floating towards me and putting her arms on my shoulders.
“See you on the inside, Clever-chan!” Joy shouted, waving happily as the yellow cloaked girl fused into my body. The change was instantaneous, my panicky and jumbled thoughts becoming slightly more manageable than I would have thought possible given the situation. “Alrighty! You should get going too, we don't have lots of time to play around unfortunately! Me and Timid-chan will be waiting to take super good care of Star-chan when she shows up!” the pink cloaked girl announced happily as a shaky hand giving me a thumbs up appeared from the shadows.
“Thank you so much... all of you,” I said as I faded into the floor and back into full control of my body.
“Three... two...” Starfire's voice called out from the other side of the door. Guessing her intentions I opened the door with a flicker of thought to, sure enough, see the beautiful alien girl with one fist cocked back and ready to break the door down. The mere sight of her was enough to make my blood boil with desire, every fiber of my being straining to reach out and pull her body against mine.
“Koriand'r...”
–
-Starfire-
“One...” Starfire murmured, her voice trailing off as her eyes traveled up and down Raven's new body. Swallowing hard over a newly formed lump in her throat, she lowered her arm and slowly floated forward into the room, gasping in surprise as the door slid shut behind her.
“Koriand'r, I need to...” The alien girl shook her head.
“You do not need to speak, I understand why this has happened to you,” she said, slipping off her shoes as she gently floated forward. “Over the many passings of years since we first joined in friendship my feelings for you have given me much of the confusion,” she continued, nervous fingers clutching at the hem of her shirt before pulling it up and over her head. The alien girl fought down the urge to cover herself as Raven's eyes, all four that her new form possessed, gazed hungrily at her exposed breasts. “But I am not the confused any more,” she said with conviction, eyes rising up to meet that hungry gaze and never leaving it as she hooked her thumbs into the waistline of her skirt and tugged the material down and off her legs. Starfire could feel the anxiety burning in the other girl as easily as she could feel her own, yet Raven seemed to wish to resist the urges she felt.
“So beautiful... the image that has lingered in my thoughts for so long is finally before me... and yet I still...” Raven's voice whispered in her mind. Starfire smiled a sad smile as she drew closer, reaching out with one hand to trail up the empath's blood red arm and across to the clasp of the cloak. In one swift motion she undid the binding and tore away the material, revealing the demoness in all her exotic glory. Starfire's breath caught in her throat as her eyes traveled up and down the well toned, beautifully sculpted body. The lean frame, coiled and taut muscles, fiery red skin, claw tipped fingers, and four piercing eyes all giving the girl such a predatory presence that the alien girl couldn't help but whimper as her eyes greedily drank in the form before her. Her Tamaranean blood was pumping sheer exhilaration through her veins at the prospect of laying with such a powerful mate.
“Raven...” she whispered breathlessly as she drifted closer to the exotic predator. She reached out to intertwine her fingers with one of the girl's claw tipped hands. “Although I do very much wish my eyes were viewing the Raven that I have known and felt such wondrous love for all the years we have shared in friendship... I have the feelings that the making of love we are about to share will still be most pleasing for both of us.” She leaned in closer and pressed herself against her demonic lover's chest to listen to her erratic heartbeat. Starfire smiled to herself at the reaction she had always enjoyed in the numerous hugs she had given the dark haired girl. “You are still my Raven...” she whispered into the back of her mind, certain that the other girl could hear it.
“Koriand'r... do you trust me?” Raven's voice echoed in that familiar part of her mind. Starfire pulled away so Raven could see her smile and nodded. Raven freed her hand and reached out to her nightstand, a tendril of shadow reaching out to retrieve something from a drawer. “I don't have time to explain, just know that it's the only way we're going to get through this...” Starfire nodded again, albeit nervously this time.
“I do not understand... but you have all the trusts my hearts can give.” The demon girl smiled and brought up her free hand to caress her cheek.
“I love you...”
“As I love you...” Starfire whispered back, leaning up to kiss the girl but instead finding herself face to face with her own reflection. She peered curiously at her face in the mirror for a moment, feeling an odd tug in the back of her mind. “Raven? I feel most strange when I...” The words came to a stop as the tug grew stronger. It was a peculiar feeling, almost like she was being lifted off her feet even though she could feel that they were still rooted to the ground. It only got stranger from there as her vision seemed to split, half of it peering at her surprised reflection, the other half gazing at a large, torch-lit chamber. She wanted to call out, to ask Raven what was happening to her but the pull was too strong, she felt herself being drawn down into that chamber which was so very strange a feeling because she knew that she was still standing in Raven's room. Just as quickly as the feelings had appeared they came to a sudden stop, Starfire's eyes coming to a close. In her the back of her mind she could feel herself falling... but when she opened her eyes... she saw only desire...
–
-Jinx-
“Why? Why did it feel so wrong? We were happy...” she sobbed bitterly. “It wasn't perfect but it was ours... our future to make. It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not...” The girl's hands once again found their way to her belly, grasping at the empty air before clenching into fists. “I thought my luck had finally turned around when you walked into the store. Seeing you with Starfire, so receptive to the attentions of another woman...” She wrapped her arms around herself, the comforting memories helping to ease the pain. “You came back for me at the club... that kiss...” Once more she brushed her fingertips across her lips, feeling the now familiar tingle as she did. “Raven...” she murmured with a deep sigh of longing. With a frown she realized that not only had this been the worst day of her life... but the bath water had gone cold while she had cried herself out.
She stood as if in a trance and, still dripping wet, donned a bathrobe before shuffling into the living room of her small apartment. A part of her felt as if she should break down and cry again but she just couldn't manage it. The girl sighed as she looked around her tiny little apartment. While it wasn't much to look at it was hers, payed for with the money she had earned. The barest hint of a smile played at the corners of her lips – Raven had been right. At first she had been pretty bitter about the whole thing, not being able to simply take what she wanted was such a foreign concept to her. She had adjusted over time though; making a few friends, meeting a few girls at the club, and generally having a good time overall.
The girl ground her teeth in frustration as her hands unconsciously trailed once again to her unfamiliarly flat belly. Every stray thought of the dark haired sorceress dragged those wonderful yet painful memories through her mind. She forced herself into motion in hopes of keeping the depressing thoughts at bay, first straightening up what little she could around the apartment before lighting a few candles around the living room and making her way into the kitchen. Amidst images of her future self preparing a veritable feast in anticipation of Raven's return from a mission, Jinx made herself a small meal and ate in a depressive silence. She actually managed to smile at the idea that she could miss listening to Beast Boy and Cyborg cracking jokes, Robin's distrusting stares, and Starfire's idle chatter as she ate. Then again, Raven would have been sitting next to her with one hand resting on her leg or her swollen belly... She stood from the table and walked away from the half eaten meal, all taste having left the food.
–
-Raven-
“Koriand'r? Are you...” The words faded from my mind as an unimaginably powerful wave of the redhead's desire washed over me. The alien girl raised her head and peered into me with eyes so full of pent up lust that it sent a thrill throughout my entire body. Starfire lifted from the ground and floated towards me, one hand coming up to rest between my breasts before it shoved me backwards onto the bed. Before the surprise could even register in my mind Starfire was on top of me and crushing our lips together. I closed my eyes, my hands coming up on reflex to caress the golden skin of her back before pulling her down tighter, the sensation of bare skin against bare skin working my mind into a fever pitch. Starfire pulled away from the kiss to look down at me with a hungry gleam in her eyes.
“You desire my scent, yes?” she asked in a throaty purr that still somehow managed to keep its familiar, innocent sounding nature. Without waiting for a response she buried her fingers into my hair and pulled my face up into the crook of her neck. A shudder passed through my body as I was bathed in her luxurious scent. I pressed my lips against her skin, kissing, sucking, and then nipping at the tender flesh as the tension began to build in my body. Starfire was so beautiful... so willing... and so unbelievably erotic... I had to have more. I had to make her mine. I rolled us over so that I was on top and bit down on her neck just hard enough to break the skin as the undeniable desire to mark her took over. The alien girl let out a low, almost primal moan as my teeth pierced her flesh, her body writhing in pleasure beneath mine. Using the hands still buried in my hair she pulled my head away from her neck and kissed me, no doubt tasting the faint hint of her own blood on my lips. My rampant thoughts were flush with surprise for a moment before I remembered how passionate Starfire was in her daily life, something that would no doubt transfer into the bedroom. I pulled away from the kiss, raising up to a seated position across her hips to drink in the image of perfection that lay beneath me.
“I've seen this so many times in my dreams...” I whispered into her mind, delighting at the shiver that ran through her. “Your splayed out hair like a halo of fire...” I trailed the tip of one sharpened nail through her hair, down to her shoulder and up across her chest to rest one flat palm against the rapid rise and fall of her chest. “Your beautiful golden skin so full of warmth and power...” She was practically panting as I removed my hand and slid down her body so that I could kiss the skin between her breasts, feeling her hearts beating wildly against my lips. I pulled away and rose slightly so we were face to face. “Your eyes so full of hope and love, like a gateway into your very soul...” My hands came to rest at her sides, teasing the sensitive skin with the tips of my claws. “You're like a warrior goddess... and I the demon that seduced you...” I leaned down to place a kiss against her quivering lips as my hands slid across her body, one coming up to squeeze her breast, the other slipping down between her legs to cup her burning womanhood. “And you're all mine...”
–
-Jinx-
Resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry, Jinx shrugged off the bathrobe to stand nude amid the flickering candlelight of her living room. With a deep breath she began the first part of her physical meditations, a series of movements and stretches that would not only increase flexibility but also draw in the energies she required to work her charms. She had barely gotten through the first set when the most peculiar sensation appeared in her chest. It was a feeling that happened so rarely that she barely even recognized it at first.
“Impossible...” she murmured. So distracted was she by the unfamiliar feeling that she nearly shrieked when three urgent knocks were placed upon her door. She quickly slipped back into her robe as she approached the door and placed her hand tentatively on the handle. The strange sensation intensified greatly as she turned the knob, revealing the very last person she expected to see standing in her doorway. “You?!” she shouted in disbelief. Standing there, looking so nervous that Jinx thought she might bolt at any second... was the woman she had saved from the purse snatcher. A rumble of thunder rippled across the sky, followed by a few scattered droplets of rain.
“Can I come in?” the woman asked, nervously tucking a lock of dark brown hair behind her ear. Jinx had to resist the urge to clutch at her chest as the overwhelming warmth that had been building seemed to burst. She couldn't help but smile despite her surprise... the rare flip side of her powers manifesting as absolute good fortune coursing through her system.
“Uh... sure,” she said, stepping aside so the woman could enter. Jinx closed the door behind them, using the chance to look the new arrival up and down while her back was turned. She was obviously nervous about being here but there was something else about her that Jinx couldn't quite figure out. “So,” she said suddenly, startling the woman enough to let out a small gasp, “what brings you to my humble abode?”
“Um... well, I don't know really,” she said as she turned around. Jinx noticed that her hands were nervously clasping at the hem of her overcoat. “You'll probably think I'm crazy but it's the strangest thing...” The pink haired girl smiled and motioned to the sofa with a hand, the woman nodded and sat down rigidly on the edge of the cushion.
“I'm all ears,” Jinx said smoothly, her calm being fueled by the rare surge of good vibes.
“Well... the day that you helped me... it was the luckiest day of my life!” Jinx couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips.
“Sorry, it's just that normally it's the exact opposite,” she explained upon seeing her visitor's curious expression. “Go on.” The woman nervously tucked a lock of her long brown hair behind her ear before continuing.
“After you left I felt this odd kind of tingle in my stomach that I couldn't quite place. When I got to work though it was like everything was going my way. My pig of a boss had been fired and they wanted me to take up the position. My mom called to tell me my dad had gotten better and was going to be let out of the hospital. I was even able to go home early around lunch time so I could celebrate... and when I got home I found my boyfriend in bed with one of my friends...”
“That's doesn't sound too lucky if you ask me,” I said, quirking one eyebrow.
“That's the thing though, I felt so relieved! I didn't have to be suspicious or worried anymore, it was like dropping a bad habit or something. After I left I went for a little walk and I saw a woman putting up a sign for a fully furnished condo that's nicer than where I was living and not only had cheaper rent but was closer to my office. After that I had the best dinner I'd ever eaten at a nearby restaurant and adopted the cutest little kitten that was being given away for free by a girl in the neighborhood. It was like I couldn't lose... and throughout the whole day... I couldn't stop thinking about you and the offer you made me. Every night since then has just been...” her voice trailed off, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips before she shook her head slightly as if to clear it. “God, I don't even know your name! I went back to where you'd helped me and started asking around about you and luckily someone had seen you come out of this complex a few times.” She cast her eyes downward nervously. “My name's Julia by the way... I'm sorry about all this, I must sound crazy...”
“It's Jinx,” the pink hair girl said with a smile as she offered the woman her hand, “and trust me, you're not crazy.”
–
To be continued...
