Story: Haruka's Parents (all chapters)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Sailor Moon or any other anime/manga.

Chapter 1: The Arrival

I was sitting on the couch watching a rerun of a race I had won last week. Michiru walked in and sat down beside me. She rested her head on my shoulder. I turn to her. I’m such a lucky woman to have a lover as beautiful as her. I wouldn’t trade her in for any man. I sigh happily and put my arm around her shoulder. She relaxed into my and sighs in content.

“Haruka, love, how many times do you need to watch yourself win?” she asks me. I smile down at her.

“It’s only the first time I watched this. I couldn’t watch it very well when I was driving,” I pull her in closer, “but if you want to do something else, I wouldn’t mind.” I kiss the top of her head. This causes a giggle from her. She looks up into my eyes.

“Do you think we should move to the bedroom?” she asks as she kisses me on the lips.

“Please do,” says a voice from behind. We both turn around to see Setsuna staring at us. “Honestly, must you two mock me?”

I smirked. “How are we mocking you? Is it because you haven’t had any love in thousands of years?” She didn’t get a chance to respond since the doorbell rang after that remark.

“You get it,” Setsuna told me. I sigh and detach myself from Michiru. I walk over to the down and open it.

“Tennoh, Kaioh, and Meioh residence.” I say as I open the door. I look up to see who was there and gasp. “Mom! Dad!” Mom rushes up to hug me.

“Haruka! How have you been?” She starts to kiss me on the cheeks. I blink a few times. Why exactly have my parents just suddenly come without warning after years of absence? I decide to worry about that later and invite them in. We walk into the living room where Michiru and Setsuna still are.

“Mom, Dad, these are my housemates Michiru,” I point to Michiru who waves, “and Setsuna.” I move my hand to Setsuna who smiles and nods. “Michiru, Setsuna, these are my parents.” My parents then greet them. After a few minutes of chitchat I finally ask them, “So Mom, Dad, what is the purpose of your visit?” My mom then pulls out a piece of paper.

“This contract you signed when you were one,” she says. A bit confused, I take the contract from her. It read:

‘From this day forth I, Haruka Tennoh, hereby swear to get a nice boyfriend. If I don’t have one by the age of 18, I will commit Seppuku and have a nice honorable death. If the impossible happens and I have a girlfriend instead, both my dyke and I will commit seppuku and I shall have my name totally removed from the family tree. Then the both of us shall have our bodies thrown in a river. Signed, Haruka Tennoh, January 27, 19XX.’ My handprint from my first birthday was right next to my name on this offensive, homophobic contract. I blink a few times.

“Is this even legal?” I ask. My mom nods. Michiru, who was reading the contract over my shoulder, starts to look faint.

My mom stands up, “So Haruka, you’re 18 now. Do you have a boyfriend?” Oh my God! How was I going to get out of this one? I couldn’t tell the truth and have Michiru killed with me, but if I say I’m single I’ll still die then Michiru might commit suicide out of depression. Well there was another option. I stand up.

“Of course I have I boyfriend.” I tell my parents, “I’ll go pick him up right now.” I grab my coat and shoes and leave.

A few minutes later I’m speeding down the highway. Great! Just great! Where am I supposed to get a fake boyfriend on such short notice? My parents had no right to make that silly, offensive, homophobic contract when I was one. What sort of parents would do this to there only child? Still unsure of what to do, I decide to visit the inners for advice. I turn to the direction of Hikawa Shine and arrive there in a few minutes. I burst in to find all the inners there.

“Haruka-san!” They all chime as I burst in. I smile at them. They really are sweet girls. What would I ever do without them?

Minako then asks, “So why are you here?” I explain my situation to them. They are all shocked at the contract.

“What sort of parents would do this?” Ami asks. I sigh.

“Obviously they would. Now I need to find a fake boyfriend to take home. Got any ideas?” They all look at each other.

“You know, the Three Lights are back in town…” Minako begins but I interrupt her.

“I’m not pretending one of them is my boyfriend!” I snap. Minako gulps and tries to look as small as possible.

Usagi then speaks, “Well, you could pretend Mamo-chan is your boyfriend.” I look at her like she had a bug on her face. I notice the rest of the inners giving her the same look. Has she lost her mind? She’s always so protective over Mamoru. She never lets any girl borrow him for any reason. She then notices the looks everyone is giving her. “What?” She asks.

“Are you feeling OK?” Rei asks her.

“Yeah, you never lead Mamoru-san out.” Makoto adds.

“What’s the occasion?” Minako asks. Usagi starts to fume.

“What’s the problem with that? I know Haruka-san isn’t going to steal him from me! She’s lesbian for Pete’s sake!” She yells, “You guys on the other hand would run off with him and I’d never see him again.” The rest of the inners sweat drop at her statement. I sigh.

“Are you sure your fine with me borrowing Mamoru-san?” I ask her. Usagi turns to me and smiles.

“Yup, I’ll call him right now and fill him in. You have nothing to worry about, Haruka-san.” I smile at her. Man, she’s the sweetest girl I know. If I didn’t have Michiru and she didn’t have Mamoru… Oh well! We’re happy this way.

“Arigatou, Odango.” I kiss her on the forehead and leave. On my way out, I can here an argument starting over me kissing Usagi. So sweet they are. Maybe I should go back and kiss them all. I look at my watch and decide against it. I’ve already been gone awhile and I still need to pick up Mamoru. I just hope he’ll agree to this.

Fifteen minutes later, I arrive at Mamoru’s apartment. I knock on his door and he answers. “Haruka-san, you’re finally here. Usako called a few minutes ago and told me about your problem.” He gives me a pat on the back. “Don’t worry; I won’t let your parents kill you or Michiru-san. So, shall we get going?” I smile at him.

“Arigatou, Mamoru-san. You’re the best.” I just hope my parents won’t be obvious to this whole charades.

TBC…

Disclaimer: I don’t own Sailor Moon.

Chapter 2: Meeting the ‘Boyfriend’

I drove up to my house. I hope my parents are suspicious of my so called boyfriend already since it to me over an hour to pick him up. Hopefully they’ll find nothing wrong with me stopping to talk to friends. Mamoru walks up beside me and rests a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Haruka-san, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He tells me. This doesn’t relax me.

“Fine?! How will I be fine? I took over an hour picking you up. They might have already killed Michiru! If they haven’t already, they’re sure to in the future! This whole plan is bound to blow up in our faces!” Through all of my ranting, I never notice Michiru come out of the house till she embraces me and kisses me on the cheek.

“Setsuna’s having tea with your parents,” She tells me, “They’re starting to wonder where you’ve gone.” She walks over to Mamoru. “Does Usagi-chan know you’re here?”

“Yes, she’s the one who suggested I do this.” Mamoru explains. He notices Michiru’s confused face. “She says a lesbian won’t run off with me so she’s fine with this.” Michiru nods.

“Arigatou, Mamoru-san.” She turns back to me. “We should get back in before your parents come out.” I nod and we all head into the house. I see my parents sitting on the couch with tea. They were in the middle of a conversation with Setsuna, when the notice my arrival.

“Haruka! You’re finally back! I almost thought you disappeared from the face of the planet.” My mom says.

“I just stopped to talk to some friends.” I tell her. She doesn’t appear to approve of that. “My ‘boyfriend’ was hanging out with them and when I went to pick him up, a conversation started. I almost forgot you were here visiting.” I could almost feel a big sweat drop forming at the back of the head through that lie. I was sure my mom saw right through me. When I was younger, she was the human lie detector. She knew I was lying when I told her I got a license over sea, surely she would she though this.

After a brief pause my mom finally says, “Don’t worry about it dear. It happens to me all the time. Why just last week I was talking to a friend on the phone and forgot to pick you father up from work. But enough about me, who’s your boyfriend?”

I turn to Mamoru. “Mom, Dad, this is Mamoru. Mamoru, these are my parents.” He reaches out to shake hands with my parents.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Tennoh.” He says politely. My mom laughs.

“How polite of you. What a fine young man you are, but please call me Sakura. After all, we are almost family.” She tells him. I could almost see Mamoru laughing nervously at her statement.

“Yeah, sure thing, Sakura-san.” He turns to my father.

“Mamoru-kun, you’re a good man for my daughter. You’ll make a wonderful groom someday. I think it’s only right you call me Hiroshi.” He tells him and gives him a pat on the back. I can just see the sweat on Mamoru’s face during this. Man, this is going downhill face.

“Right, Hiroshi-san.” Mamoru replies in a nervous voice. My mom turns back to me.

“So Haruka,” She begins.

“Yeah, what is it mom?”

“Have you, you know, done the nasty with Mamoru-kun yet?” She asks me. My face turns bright red. I could not believe she just asked me that. I notice the Mamoru has gone red too. I can’t blame him. Just the mere thought of doing it with a guy… it’s sick! I turn to Michiru for help. She looks like she’s holding back a lot of rage right now. I suddenly realize she won’t be much help at the moment. I turn back to mom.

“Mom,” I say, thinking up another lie quick, “We’ve only just met a few weeks ago. Surely you don’t think we’ve already done that.” My mom gasps.

“Only a few weeks? Why I met your father in middle school!” She tells me. Yeah, nice mom. Well I meet Michiru at the end of middle school and we’re destined to be together. I doubt she could say that about her and dad. They’re probably only together, because their parents forced them.

“Well, true love can take awhile mom. It’s worth the wait if you can find someone you truly love with all your heart.” With saying this I turn to Michiru and wink. Her face turns red at this action. My mom notices this so I quickly think of yet another lie to cover this. “My friend, Michiru, is a big believer in true love. She believes that one day she’ll meet her special person and they’ll live happily ever after.” Well I guess this wasn’t a total lie. My mom seems to buy this.

“Well you’ve found a nice young man, Haruka. I’m sure you two will have plenty of time tonight to get caught up with each other.” She tells me. “Your father and I are going to be staying here for a few weeks. While we’re here we have no problem with Mamoru-kun and you sleeping together. In fact, tonight, I insist you sleep with Mamoru-kun. Ah, it’s so nice to know you’ve found a man. Growing up, I’ve always thought you’d be a lesbian and I’d have to kill you.” What did she just say? Staying here for weeks?! Me, sleeping with Mamoru?! She thought I’d be a lesbian?! Well she was right with the last one. Honestly, if she knew, why did she bother to come? It makes no sense.

My parents walk up stairs with Setsuna. “Well we’ve off to bed Haruka!” My mom says, “Hope to hear lots of noises from your and Mamoru-kun’s bedroom tonight!” With that Setsuna leads them to their room. I turn to Michiru. She looks like she’s about to explode.

TBC…

Disclaimer (do people still do these?): I own nothing.

Chapter 3: That Big Bastard, Seiya

I stood there staring at Michiru. I didn’t know what or who she was most pissed off at, my parents or the fact that I was expected to make ‘noises’ with Mamoru that night. Mamoru didn’t look thrilled about having to make ‘noises’ with me either. I was suddenly glad about shopping at that porn shop the day before with Michiru.

“Relax you two,” I told them, “we won’t be making ‘noises’ tonight. Don’t you remember that ‘Erotic Bedroom Noises’ CD I bought at that porn shop yesterday, Michi?” I turn to Michiru to see her blush. Yes she remembers that CD, and all the other things we bought.

“But won’t the man and woman be screaming different names on the CD? They probably won’t even sound like us.” Mamoru points out. Too bad for him I already thought of that.

“We’ll tell my parents the names yelled out on the CD are our nicknames. As for not sounding like us, no one sounds the same when doing that.” I turn to Michiru who blushes harder. I just love to embarrass her like that. “So why don’t we all head up to bed now.” We all head upstairs. Michiru goes to a guest room while Mamoru and I head into mine and Michiru’s room. I lock the door behind me.

“Hey, I thought we weren’t doing anything.” Mamoru seems a bit worried. What is it about me that turns him off so much anyways.

“We’re not doing anything!” I told him, “It’s so my mom doesn’t walk in to find us not naked or even in the same bed for that matter.” Mamoru looks around the room.

“But there’s only one bed.” He pointed out. I walked over to the closet and pull out a sleeping bag.

“There’s you’re bed.” I told him. He stares at me, then the sleeping bag, then back at me. He does this for awhile before giving up and getting in the sleeping bag. Now that that was settled, it was time to play the ‘Erotic Bedroom Noises’ CD. I put it in and press play. I turn the CD volume to full blast. All that can be heard is moaning and a bed creaking.

“Perfect.” Mamoru said, “Your parents will never suspect a thing.” I nod.

“Now to find out what our fake names will be.” I said. A few seconds later the man moans out “Haruka”. “Well looks like I won’t need a nickname, let’s see about you” I look over to Mamoru. We turn back to the CD player just in time to hear the woman moan “Seiya”. I pretty much flipped when I heard that. “WHAT THE HELL!” I yelled. The CD ended when I yelled that, which was good since I threw the CD player out the window right after. Mamoru was laughing in his sleeping bag.

“Oh Haruka,” He laughed, “I never knew how much you loved Seiya till now.” He rolls around laughing. I threw my pillow at him.

“Shut up, baka!” I screamed, “This isn’t funny. I would never do anything so nasty with that bastard! Whoever made this CD is sick!!” I go on a rampage through the room. Why, oh why, did it have to be Seiya? Why not something like, oh I don’t know, Daisuke? Hell, even some foreign name I can’t even pronounce would have been better. Still angry, I go to bed, having dreams about strangling Seiya.

The next morning we all got up pretty damn early. To early for my likings, 10:00. Michiru and Setsuna both giggle when they see me.

“Morning Haruka,” Setsuna said in between giggles, “Did you have fun with Seiya last night.” I growled at her but she continued to giggle. “That has got to be the funniest ‘noises’ I ever heard coming from your room.” I bonk her in the head just as my parents come down.

“Morning, everyone!” My mother greeted us. She looks funnily at me. “Haruka, be nice to Setsuna.” She scolded and pointed her finger at me. Great, I feel like a three year old again. “By the way, who’s Seiya? You don’t mean the one in the Three Lights?”

“No, Seiya is just Mamoru’s nickname.” I told her. God, why did it have to be Seiya. This couldn’t get any worse. Or so I thought. The door bell rang. Michiru heads to the door and answers.

“Seiya-san! Taiki-san! Yaten-san! It’s great to see you again!” She says from the door. My day had just gotten worse. Why the hell were they here anyways? Who invited them?

“Oh, so you are friends with the Three Lights.” My mom says. She and dad run out to great them. They return I awhile later with the Three Bakas.

“Hey there Haruka,” Seiya said, “Why are you so grumpy? Not getting enough of the good stuff in bed?” I abruptly punch him square in the jaw, knocking him out. He deserved it anyways. How dare he walk in here and ask such a thing? He’s just lucky to be alive.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 4: The Engagements

I stared down at Seiya’s unconscious body lying on the floor. I sure showed that bastard. He’ll never ask questions like that again. Never show up unannounced again if I’m lucky. Everyone else stares at him and me in shock. My mother gives me one of those looks mothers give you when they’re pissed at you.

“Haruka Tenoh!” She scolds, “What have I told you about knocking people out?” I felt like a three year old again for the second time in two days.

“You never told me anything about knocking people out.” I told her, “Why? Is there a faster way?” I smirked as I said that. Mom just gives me another one of those looks, one that says, ‘Don’t be smart with me.’ I smiled in triumph. Well my mom does get back at me by making me help Mamoru move Seiya onto the couch.

“So, “my mom said, “do you like him?”

“Like who?”

“Seiya.” I just about choked when I heard that. How the hell could I ever like a bastard like that? After all he did, he’d be lucky just to get me to baby sit his dog.

“No way!” I told her, “I didn’t like him from the moment I found him in Michiru’s dressing room.” It was after I said this that I realized my mistake. Mom would defiantly take this the wrong way.

“So then you like him, Michiru-san!” My mom turns to Michiru with a gleam in her eye. The kind of gleams mom’s get when they find out their daughter has a boyfriend. Michiru slowly backed away from my mom. I could just see the sweat drops on the back of her head. Sure, she did have respect for him and the Star Lights after they protected our princess for us, but she didn’t like him that way. I’m the only one she likes that way. She’s saved by a sudden moan from Seiya as he regains consciousness.

“Ow, what was that about?” He muttered. My mom turns to face him.

“So Seiya-san,” She says excitedly, “I hear you like Michiru-san!” Seiya looks confused.

“What? Me like Michiru-san? Why?” My mom looks at him in horror.

“How can a man like you not like such a beautiful girl as Michiru-san?” She wondered, “Unless, your gay!” She whips a sword out of nowhere and swings in around wildly. Seiya screams and runs around frantically. Me and Michiru coward behind the couch, afraid she’d find out about us and make us commit seppuku. “Death to all gays!!” She screamed. Now I was really scared. So was Michiru. She looked about ready to wet herself, and she’s never looked like that.

“I’M NOT GAY!!” Seiya screamed out. This stopped my mom.

“You’re not?” Seiya nods and my mother looks relieved. “Oh thank God! I’m so glad I don’t have to kill you. If you were gay I would have though. They don’t deserve to live!” Seiya looks confused.

“Then how come those two are…” He doesn’t get farther then that since both me and Michiru cover his mouth.

“Can we speak to him and the Three Lights in the other room?” I asked my mom. She nods and Seiya is dragged into the other room. Taiki and Yaten follow.

“So, what’s all that about?” Taiki asked when we reached privacy. This was going to be interesting.

“My mom and dad showed up here the other day,” I explained, “They had a contract I supposedly signed when I was one that I’d commit seppuku if I didn’t have a boyfriend when I was 18. It also said if I had a girlfriend instead, my girlfriend would have to commit seppuku with me. So now Mamoru-san’s posing as my boyfriend after Odango suggested it.” All three look confused at this line. “She says since I’m a lesbian I won’t run off with him.” They look relieved. “So my parents accepted Mamoru-san as my boyfriend. They expected us to make ‘noises’ last night so I put in a “Erotic Bedroom Noises” CD. It fooled them.” I decided to leave the names from the CD out. “So that’s pretty much where we are.” They looked rather shocked when I finish.

“I can’t believe your parents!” Yaten said. “Who would kill their own child over something so stupid.”

“You should report them.” Taiki said.

“Ya, even you deserve better then them.” Seiya told me. Hum, maybe the bastard does have a heart, but I still don’t like him.

“They’re my parents.” I tell them. “I can’t do that to them. Just as long as they don’t find out the truth, we’re fine. Besides it’s only a few days.” With that we all walk back into the other room with my parents, Setsuna, and Mamoru. Hotaru decided to visit her real father this week, which is a good thing since it’d only complicate things more. My mom turns to Michiru.

“So Michiru,” She asked, “do you have a boyfriend?” Michiru looked a bit shocked, but shock her head no. My mom smiles at this. “Well I just had a brilliant idea!” Why did I not like the sounds of this? It may be because none of her brilliant ideas have been good. I remember this one brilliant idea she had that instead of buying me a bike helmet, she donated the money to charity instead. It wasn’t so good when I got into an accident and nearly died. I think my senshi powers were the only thing that kept me alive. So that’s why I always wear a helmet on my motorcycle. Anyways, back to my mom’s ‘brilliant’ idea.

“I was thinking that my little Haruka should get engaged to Mamoru-san and Michiru-san should get engaged to Seiya-san! We can have a joint wedding next week!” I knew this was going to be bad.

TBC…

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Chapter 5: Coming Up With a Plan

I stared at my so called mother in disbelief. Who the hell does she think she is? Does she think she’s one of those ancient matchmakers the can go and pick who everyone will marry herself? God I hate her! It was one thing for her to arrange my marriage, but no way in hell should she be able to arrange MY Michiru’s marriage and to that bastard Seiya, no less. I should kill her!

“Excuse me, Sakura-san,” Michiru began, “but don’t you think it’s a little weird for you to arrange my marriage. I don’t even love Seiya-san.” My mom turns to her with veins popping in her head.

“For a girl like you not to love Seiya-san, it must mean that you’re gay!” She screamed and whipped out her sword out of nowhere again. God, where in the world does she keep that thing. Maybe in the same place I keep my Space Sword. Michiru looks at my mom in fear. It looks like she’s ready to fake a relationship with Seiya now. That sort of pissed me off.

“I love him! I love him!” She yelled and grabbed on to Seiya’s arm for her life. My mom looks pleased at this, but I didn’t. Why was MY woman clinging to a bastard like that? This had to be set right. We needed a plan and soon. Before this joint marriage could happen. Maybe the inners could help us.

“Mom,” I said, “Do you mind if we all went over to our friends and you and dad stayed here? We’ll only be gone for awhile.” My mom nods for some strange reason. I never would have guessed she would willingly let us all leave her and dad here by themselves. Just how many hosts do that anyways? Oh well, it bought us time to come up with a plan to get out of the marriage. We all say good bye and leave. Me, Michiru, and Setsuna hope in my car. The Star Lights hope in their van. We all leave. Along the way, I figure it’d be a good idea to pick up Hotaru. Surprisingly, her father agrees quickly.

A while later we all arrive at Rei’s temple. Luckily, all the inners are there. We all head in. The inners are happy to see us. Did I ever mention how cute they are? Oh wait, I think I did when this all began. Well in case you forgot, I’ll remind you.

“Listen guys,” I told them, “we have a problem.”

“What sort of problem?” They all ask. God, they can be so cute at times.

“My mom has gone crazy. She’s completely homophobic and she just arranged that I marry Mamoru-san and Michiru marry that bastard, Seiya.” Usagi screams.

“NO! Haruka-san can’t marry Mamo-chan! He’s mine! I’m going to marry him! WAH!” She starts to cry. I run over to comfort her before we all drown in her tears.

“Don’t worry Odango-chan!” I told her, “I don’t want to marry Mamoru-san. It’s all my mother’s idea. In fact, this marriage may not happen if we can think of a good plan before next week.” All the inners start to think.

“Well, you could tell your parent’s the truth.” Minako suggested.

“That won’t work.” Michiru told her, “She waves her magical sword at anyone she even suspects is gay. If we tell her, then it will be seppuku time for the both of us.” She was right. Tell my mom and the entire seppuku ritual would be set up in minutes. We needed a better plan then that.

“Maybe we could have your parents arrested.” Makoto suggested.

“Nah, what has jail time ever did to change a person?” I asked. There have been so many people that go to jail for committing a crime then they get out of jail and commit the same crime again. That solution would only be temporary. Ami looks thoughtful. I look at her with hope. If anyone can think of a good plan to get out of this, it’s her. She’s got to be the smartest girl alive.

“I’ve been thinking,” She said, “this whole problem is the result of that contract.” Yeah, of coarse it is. She’s not going to suggest we take to contract to court is she?

“Well if it just so happened to be destroyed without a trace,” She continued, “then Haruka-san would not have to be controlled by it. No court would make her go through with it without the proof.” Oh Ami, I could kiss you! Why didn’t I think of that? That has got to be the best idea ever.

“But how are we going to destroy it?” Chibi-usa pops out of nowhere to ask. Well it seems she came from the future to visit again.

“Chibi-usa, what are you doing here?” Usagi asked her.

“Mama sent me to help Haruka-san and Michiru-san.” She said, “Now how are we going to destroy the contract.” Ami is writing something down.

“Well it’d be best to observe Haruka’s parents before we act. We can use this wedding as an excuse to hang around them. Mako-chan, Minako-chan, and I can be Haruka’s bride’s maids. Usagi-chan, Rei-chan, and Setsuna-san can be Michiru’s. Hotaru-chan can be the ring bearer. Chibi-usa can be the flower girl. Taiki-san can be Mamoru-san’s best man. Yaten-san can be Seiya-san’s. Any questions?” We are all probably a bit confused after that, but we decide not to ask questions. We all cram into my car and the Three Light’s van and head off to my house.

To Be Continued…

Disclaimer: What do you think? I still own nothing.

Chapter 6: Wedding Preparations

After a long and crowded ride, we finally all arrived back at my house. I still can’t believe we managed to fit 14 people in 2 vehicles. That’s got to be a new world record. We were all relieved to get out and stretch.

“Ah, let’s never do that again!” Usagi said, “I feel like a pancake. Mmm, pancakes!” We all laughed. Trust Usagi to be thinking of food at a time like. Wish I could be so carefree. It’s hard to be carefree when your life is on the line to some stupid contract. I hope this plan work. I want that contract to be history. We all head in the house.

“Mom, dad, we’re back and we brought the rest of our wedding party over.” I called out. My parents come running out. My mom has some big stupid grin on her face. Oh how I hate that grin. It’s the kind of grin that says, ‘So you finally decided to let me ruin your life! Good for you!’ Oh well.

“Oh how wonderful!” My mom said. She claps her hand over her mouth in joy and starts to cry. “My little girl is finally growing up!” Hey, I’ve been grown up for years now! Where the hell has she been?

“Why don’t you introduce us to everyone?” My dad asked. Where did he come from? He’s been so quite lately I almost forgot he was here. Oh well.

“Well Mako-chan, Minako-chan, and Ami-chan here will be my bride’s maids.” I began. Makoto, Minako, and Ami wave to my parents and bow.

“Usagi-chan, Rei-chan, and Setsuna-san will be mine.” Michiru continued. Usagi hugs my mom while Rei just bows politely.

“I’m Mamoru-san’s best man.” Taiki said.

“I’m Seiya’s.” Yaten said.

“Hotaru-chan will be our ring bearer since we know no young boys and Chibiusa-chan will be our flower girl.” I finished. My mom looks pleased. Is she happy because she thinks people are willing to go along with her plans on ruining my life? Probably. Little does she know it’s her life that will be ruined.

“It’s great to meet you all!” She said.

“I’m sure you all will make a great wedding party.” My dad finished for her. Yeah, we’ll make a good wedding party for destroying a certain contract.

“Well we’ll get some sleep now, and in the morning we’ll head out to start the wedding preparations.” My mom said. She and dad head up to their room. Our sleeping arrangements end up being Mamoru and I in my room, Michiru and that bastard Seiya in a guest room, Taiki and Yaten in another guest room, Setsuna and Ami in Setsuna’s room. Hotatu and Chibiusa in Hotaru’s room, and the rest off the inners in another guest room. After saying good night we all head up to our rooms.

The next morning my parents woke us all up at 6:00 am. Why did they need to wake us up so early? I was having such a good dream about doing it with my Michiru. It was great since we haven’t been about to in the last couple of days. Usagi looked particularly grumpy. I’m surprised my mom was able to get her out of bed. Mamoru looked pretty envious of my mom. I think he wanted to know her secrets. After breakfast we all headed out to prepare for the ‘wedding’.

We arrived at a dress shop at 8:00. Oh God no! My mom was going to force me into some frilly dress. I just know it! Why me? Sure enough, by 8:30, I was in a frilly wedding dress. I looked over at Michiru. Man, she looked hot in a wedding dress. I can just imagine her in a wedding dress, marrying me. That would be a dream come true. Well it would be as long as I didn’t have to wear a dress. I prefer to wear a tux. I look rather good in a tux, incase you didn’t know. I look over to Seiya. I look way better then him wearing a tux. Mamoru looks just like Tuxedo Kamen without the mask and hat. My mom’s fussing over the dress color of the inners and Setsuna.

“What color should the Bride’s Maids dresses be?” She asked. “Should I have two different colors to tell whose bride’s maids they are? I know Haruka’s will be blue and Michiru’s an aqua green.” After an hour Makoto, Minako, and Ami are in blue dresses while Usagi, Rei, and Setsuna are in aqua green dresses.

“Wow, that’s a good color combination.” Michiru commented to my mom. Mom looks rather pleased with herself. Funny, I just realized how great my mom and Michiru could get along, if my mom wasn’t so homophobic. Wish we could fix that. Oh well, as long as we live through this whole ordeal. My mom then turns to Hotaru and Chibiusa.

“I know it’s tradition for the ring bearer to wear a tux, but Hotaru’s a girl. Maybe she should wear a black dress. Chibiusa should wear a little pink flower girl dress to bring out her hair more.” A while later, both girls were wearing exactly what my mom had envisioned. I had to admit, they looked rather good like that. After the clothes were settled, it was time to move on.

Next we are out looking for a caterer. My mom says she knows a good place. We jump into our vehicles and head there. Luckily my parents had there own car, so we were able to put some people in their car so we weren’t so crowded. Ami was in my car so I decided to ask her how the plan was coming.

“The plan’s coming along pretty well.” She said, “It seems your mother keeps the contract in her purse. All we got to do is find a way to distract her long enough so we can destroy it.”

“So how do you suggest we distract her?” I asked.

“Well if we all transform and give our big long speeches, then she should end up confused enough to give us the opportunity to destroy it.” That was a good plan. I just hope it worked.

To be continued…

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed yet.

Chapter 7: The Destruction of the Contract

We all arrive at the caterer place. We all decide it’s best to let my parents go in without us. It would give us a chance to tell the plan to everyone. I sure hoped this worked. If not I could be slitting my belly open next week instead of getting married to Mamoru, but to be honest I don’t know which was worse.

“You sure you don’t want to come in?” My mom asked. I nod.

“But this is YOUR wedding.” My dad added. Well sorry to break it to you dad, but if this plan works there won’t be a wedding. All of yours and mom’s planning will go to waste. Oh well.

“We don’t really care what you guys get.” Michiru said, “As long as it’s edible.” Yeah, edible would be nice. We don’t need any of my mom’s suicide chicken wings, even though this wedding won’t be happening anyways.

“Well if you’re sure.” My mom said. We all nod so they head in alone. We all sigh and turn to face each other.

“So Ami-chan, what’s the plan?” Makoto asked.

“Well it seems Sakura-san always keeps the contract in her purse.” Ami told them, “If we all transform and give our big long speeches about how she’s bad, it may confuse her enough that we can get her to take the contract out. Once it’s out, we destroy it.” Everyone nods.

“Wait a second.” Usagi said, “How are we getting it out of her purse again?” Rei bobbed her on the head. I couldn’t help but laugh. She can be so cute sometimes. Though I do wish she’d chose a better time to be cute. Ami explains the plan to Usagi again, more slowly this time. I think she gets it now.

“Alright now,” I said, “Now that we’re all clear on the plan, transform.”

“Right.” Everyone nods.

“Uranus Crystal Power…”

“Neptune Crystal Power…”

“Pluto Crystal Power…”

“Saturn Crystal Power…”

“Mars Crystal Power…”

“Mercury Crystal Power…”

“Venus Crystal Power…”

“Jupiter Crystal Power…”

“Fighter Star Power…”

“Healer Star Power…”

“Maker Star Power…”

“Moon Prism Power…” (Chibiusa)

“Moon Eternal…”

“MAKE UP!” Everyone yells. After we’re done transforming, we confront my parents who are just walking out of the caterer’s store. The turn around to face us when once Sailor Moon makes our presence clear.

“Stop right there!” Moon told them, “How dare you force your own daughter into marriage. It is up to your daughter to decide who she marries and when. To bring others into this is even worse! I’m Sailor Moon!”

“Sailor Mars!”

“Sailor Mercury!”

“Sailor Venus!”

“Sailor Jupiter!”

“Sailor Chibimoon!”

“In the name of the moon, we shall punish you!” They all you and strike a pose. My parents look confused at this. I figure it’s our turn then.

“Invited by the new era, I’m Sailor Uranus, acting magnificently!”

“Invited by the new era, I’m Sailor Neptune, acting gracefully!”

“Invited by the new era, I’m Sailor Pluto, acting mysteriously!”

“Invited by the new era, I’m Sailor Saturn, acting destructively!”

“We four soldiers of the outer solar system are here to punish you!” I ended. My parents look even more confused now. They get more confused as they hear snapping.

(Sorry, but I forgotten the Star Lights Speech and can’t find it anywhere! ACK! Just forget about it! I can’t make one up! I’m skipping to them introducing them selves. Just pretend the said whatever they do in Stars.)

“Sailor Star Fighter!”

“Sailor Star Healer!”

“Sailor Star Maker!”

“Sailor Starlights! Stage on!” (I’m really regretting ever deleting my old Sailor Star episodes…)

My parents look even more confused and scared. “Honey, who are these crazy women?” My mom asked dad. “Are they some sort of strippers?”

“I don’t know dear…” My dad told her.

“Now, take out that contract!” Moon ordered. Mom takes it out slowly. She seems really scared right now. I can’t blame her though. Who wouldn’t be scared if they were surrounded by sexy women in skimpy outfits? Well come to think of it, I’d be more turned on then scared, but enough of that. As soon as my mom takes the contract out of her purse, a red rose rips it out of her hands and pins it to a wall.

“Tuxedo Kamen-sama!” The inners yelled. God, why must they always do that when he arrives? It’s annoying.

“It is a parent’s duty to honor their children’s choices. By not doing so is an abomination and is not right. I will not allow you to continue.” He told my parents. Right, mask boy, right. He turns to all of us. “Everyone, now!” We all nod.

“World Shaking!”

“Deep Submerge!”

“Dead Scream!”

“Silence Glaive!”

“Mars Flame Sniper!”

“Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!”

“Venus Love and Beauty Shock!”

“Jupiter Oak Revolution!”

“Star Serious Laser!”

“Star Sensitive Inferno!”

“Star Gentle Uterus!”

“Pink Sugar Heart Attack!”

“Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!”

We all attack that evil contract at once. All our attacks hit it at the same time, except for Chibimoon’s Pink Sugar Heart attack, which failed once again. The contract in sent into nothingness and I can swear I heard it yell ‘beautiful’ before it left us. Surprisingly, the wall it was pinned to was left unharmed. At last, there was absolutely nothing left of the evil contract. Nothing to show it even existed in the first place.

“What the hell was that?” My dad asked.

“What happened to my contract?” My mom asked. Chibimoon was looking rather pissed at her attack rod.

“This stupid thing!” She yelled angrily, “I wanted to help destroy that evil contract.” She walks over to my parents, who are sitting on the ground stunned. She points her attack rod at my mom. “Pink Sugar Heart Attack!” Now it works and my mom in assaulted with a barrage of pink sugar hearts.

“OW OW OW OW OW!” She yelled has the pink sugar hearts hit her head. I won’t stop Chibimoon. She deserves this anyways. After a while of assaulting my mom, Chibimoon switches to my dad. She switches back and forth for at least fifteen minutes before her attack rod dies. By the end my parents are lying unconscious on the ground with big bruises on their foreheads. We all untransformed and take them home.

To Be Continued… (one last time)

Disclaimer: This is the end, but I still own nothing.

Chapter 8: The Aftermath

We were all back at my house after the destruction of that evil contract. My parents were both knocked out from the pink sugar hearts. It shouldn’t be long till they regain consciousness. When that happens, Michiru and I plan to tell them the truth. This should be interesting. I just hope my mom forget where she keeps that sword of hers. If not, the others are all here to protect us. They won’t let any harm befall us. Slowly, my parents start to wake up. Well, it’s now or never.

“Mom, dad, how are you two feeling?” I asked them.

“I think I’m alright.” My mom said.

“I just got a major headache.” Dad joked. Funny how he’s able to tell jokes at a time like this.

“Um, there’s something me and Michiru need to tell you guys. Please don’t be mad.” I told them.

“What is it dear?” My mom asked. I looked over to Michiru for moral support. She nods and holds my hand gently. I nod back at her and gently squeeze her hand.

“Mom, dad, Michiru’s my girlfriend.” There, it was finally out.

“I love your daughter very much!” Michiru added. For some strange reason, my parents look very happy about this.

“Um, are you two alright?” I asked.

“Oh coarse I’m alright! Your confession will help me with my confession!” She said. Now I was confused.

“And my confession too!” Dad adds. Now I’m really confused. What could they possibly confess?

“What confession?” I asked.

“I’m a lesbian!” Mom says.

“I’m gay too!” Dad adds. Now I was really shocked. I could feel my jaw hitting the floor. Did they say what I thought I heard? Did my homophobic parents just say they were gay? Has the world gone mad? My mom walks over to Usagi.

“You know, Usagi-chan, you’re rather cute.” She said and gives Usagi a big kiss one the lips, with tongue and everything. Everyone looks the same now, shocked. My dad walks over to Mamoru.

“I love you, Mamo-chan!” He says and passionately kisses him. One thing I want to know is why the hell are they gay all of a sudden?

“It seems all the pink sugar hearts reversed their personalities.” Ami explained, “I thought it would just turn them from homophobic to gay loving, not homophobic to gay.” Well that explains it, I guess. Now I’m just wondering how long it will last for.

The next day, my parents get another wonderful idea.

“Oh Haruka, Michiru-san!” My mom said, “Today’s such a wonderful day! Why don’t we all head out to the gay district?” Wow, I can’t believe my mom just suggested that. Well normally I avoid the gay district, but today I figured I should go just to keep my suddenly gay parents out of trouble.

We arrive at the gay district that afternoon. It seems that as soon as we got there, I was surrounded by guys.

“Hey there cutie!” One said, “I haven’t seen you before. What’s your name?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Another asked.

“Can I be your boyfriend?” Yet another asked. God this was annoying. I knew there was a reason I avoided the gay district. Well, I guess I should tell them the truth.

“I’m Haruka Tenoh. I’m a girl by the way. I already got a girlfriend too.” I wrap my arm around Michiru and pull her in to embrace her. The guys look disappointed with the truth.

“No way!” One said.

“Damn it!” One curse.

“Why are all the cute ones girls?” One asked. Hum, maybe it’s because your taste in men is so feminine. My mom approaches them.

“Don’t worry!” She told them, “I’m sure you’ll all find a boyfriend one day.” Funny, just yesterday she would have said, ‘If all the cute ones are girls, then why don’t you just marry one?’ Funny how people can change over night.

“If you boys want, I can be your boyfriend!” My dad told them. No offence dad, but I don’t think you’re their type.

“Um, you’re not my type.” One of the guys said. The rest nodded. How did I know that was coming? My mom grabs mine and Michiru’s shoulders.

“Come on girls! Why don’t we got have our own fun while my husband flirts.” She said I dragged us off. Oh God, what kind of ‘fun’ is she talking about.

Fifteen minutes later, my mom has us sitting right in front of the stage at a lesbian strip club.

“Yeah, this is more like it!” My mom yells as the stripper on stage rips her bra off. My mom hoots and hollers. Funny, normally I’d be the one doing that, but with my mom here, I’m to embarrassed to do anything.

“Cheer up Haruka,” Michiru told me, “this isn’t that bad. That stripper is actually pretty hot.” I turned to Michiru in shock.

“You’re not cheating on me with a stripper are you?” I asked. I knew she wasn’t, but this was pretty fun. Jokes like this usually improve our bedtime.

“Nah, she’s not my type.” She said, “Want to know what my type is?” She leans in closer to me. I put an arm around her.

“I already got a good idea what your type is.” I told her. I leaned to her and place a kiss on her lip. The kiss grows more passionate. It could have gone further until a loud hoot erupts from the crowd. We both look up to see my mom dancing on stage with the stripper, removing her clothes.

“Mom!” I yelled at her. She turns to me and Michiru.

“Come on you two, join in the fun!” She pulls us both on stage and unbuttons my shirt. Lots of femmes in the crowd start hooting.

“Take it off!” One yells. So some how, both me and Michiru end up dancing on stage, completely naked.

The next day, we all wake up early to see my parents off. Thank God they’re leaving today. I don’t think I could stand another night with them around. Finally Michiru and I can continue on with our sex lives. My mom hugs and kisses us all.

“Take care you guys.” She said, “I’ll let you know when I get a girlfriend.”

“And I’ll let you know when I get a boyfriend.” Dad added. Hum, can anyone even handle my gay parents? Would they ever find love? Oh well wasn’t my problem. We all wave as they drive off. Michiru then turns to me.

“Well that was interesting.” She said. I nodded.

“Who would have thought my parents would end up gay?”

“Not me.” Setsuna said, “I honestly think they were scarier gay then homophobic.”

“I think they’re scary both ways.” Michiru said. I think she’s having memories about mom’s sword.

“Well, take it from me,” I said, “They’re just scary parents.”

The End!