In Her Burning Eyes
Chapter Six: Bittersweet Fairytale Part Two
It's a little surprising that one person's pursuit of their fairytale can so easily destroy another's, how one simple innocent act of affection can do so much damage to so deep a relationship. In spite of that and with everything seeming to be stacked against them I think most girls would still cling to the hope of seeing that storybook moment whether they realize it or not.
Much like our dreams though, the effort it takes to bring them to reality can simply be too much to bear...
–
Two steps back...
–
“Not what I think? Not what I think!” she shrieked, proceeding to unfold the crumpled letter in her hands. “To my dearest Rei-chan. All the time I've known you has been like a wonderful dream. The feelings you awakened within me were so confusing at first but seeing them come to life has been like a fairytale. I can't wait to show you just how much they've blossomed after the dance this Friday. Your secret lover, Emi-chan...” She screamed as she tore the letter into pieces and threw them at me. “What the hell am I supposed to think?!”
“Usa, you have to calm down and listen to me. I can explain this, I promise!” I could feel the tension in my arms as I gripped the box in my hands as if my life depended on it.
“What's that you're wearing, Rei?” she asked, glaring up and down my body. “A pretty little dress for your pretty little girlfriend? You going to go have some fun while your fat cow lover sits at home stuffing her face?!”
“Usa...” I could feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Shut up!” she shrieked. “I always wondered how you still managed to have sex with me. You were thinking about her... your little Emi-chan! I knew it was too good to be true... after the people at school... and my parents... I should have realized I wasn't good enough for anybody!”
“Don't...” I said, my voice sounding so hollow in my ears.
“Don't what?” she sneered
“Don't you ever talk about my Usa like that again!” I screamed, causing her to recoil slightly. I took a deep breath to calm myself and continued. “I'm going to explain this very slowly because I know you're hurt and confused.” I found myself unable to stand and fell to my knees. “I have never, not for a single second, stopped loving you with all my heart Usagi. These last seven months with you have been the happiest time of my life!”
“Rei...”
“Let me finish!” I shouted, setting the box on the floor and wrapping my arms around myself. “Through all your depression and your moodiness and your random bursts of anger I have never even once regretted being with you. Every single time I've told you how beautiful you are I've meant it from the bottom of my heart.” The air was catching in my throat as the sobs I was holding in grew stronger. “This note,” I said, reaching out to clutch at the pieces, “I found this in my locker on Monday. I didn't throw it away because it would have felt like I was hiding something from you and I could never bring myself to do that. I forgot all about it after that whole thing with the money, I don't even know who this person is.” I let the torn pieces in my hands fall to floor with my tears.
“Don't... don't lie to me!” she shouted, although it was obvious her resolve was wavering.
“Tell me Usa, if I was lying to you so I could go see someone behind your back...” I picked up the box and stood shakily. “Then why would I take you with me!” I screamed, throwing the box to the floor. The lid came off as it bounced, the upper half of the dress unfolding around her feet. Slowly, she bent down and lifted the dress from the box with trembling hands.
“Rei... I...” I just kept talking over her, knowing I'd never be able to finish if I hesitated.
“I'm not mad, Usa, I know how hard it is to control your emotions right now.” I took a few steps back towards the door. “But this shows me that we have a very big problem in our relationship.” I turned and walked to the doorway. “After everything we've been through... you still don't trust me,” I said, the words barely coming out as more than a whisper. With one last look at her heartbroken face, I turned and left.
I wasn't there to see her clutching the dress to her chest as she sobbed. I wasn't there to see Haruka and Michiru run to comfort her when they saw the state she was in. I wasn't there to hear her say, for the very first time, that it was all her fault...
--
The essence of love...
--
I had taken to wandering the streets for an hour or so until I found myself standing outside the school, the soft throb of music emanating from within. Resigning myself to my fate, I entered the now hated building. At first I had tried to hide myself backstage, only to be stopped by the last person I ever wanted to see. She mocked me for being alone, then she mocked me a little for being a lesbian, then she told me I wasn't allowed to leave for any reason besides using the restroom. Interacting with that wretched woman had been the last thing I needed, managing to take my already depressive mood and turn it downright sour.
I'd been rather annoyed to find that I couldn't blame anyone for things turning out as they had. At first I'd planned to give the girl who had left the note a piece of my mind but quickly realized I couldn't bring myself to be angry at someone just for having a crush me. I obviously couldn't bring myself to blame Usagi for it, sure she'd overreacted but if we had switched places I'm sure I'd have done the same thing as her. Most irritating of all I found that I couldn't even be mad at myself. It would have been so much easier if I could focus my foul mood on something, at least then I would have been able to ignore the biting pain in my chest.
Being unable to hide backstage or even wander the halls I had to settle for the next best thing. I was currently sitting at the darkest table I could find with my legs crossed tight, arms folded, and a glare on my face that would have told anybody with the slightest amount of intelligence that I was not to be messed with. Unfortunately that didn't apply to everybody...
–
“I'm a lesbian, so piss off,” I muttered darkly.
“Excuse me?”
“I said piss off!” I shouted, running off the third, and hopefully last, boy brave enough to approach me.
“That's hardly appropriate, Hino-san,” a voice said disapprovingly from behind me.
“Like I give a flying...” I stopped upon meeting the stern yet kind glare of the head sister. “Sorry...”
“This is quite disappointing,” she said, placing a cup of punch in front of me before sitting down in the chair next to mine. “You seemed so happy all week, I thought for sure you'd be having a wonderful time with your girlfriend. I have been very much wanting to meet with her on better terms than the last time we spoke. I take it she's grown quite a bit since then,” she said, motioning an over sized belly. My armor cracked slightly and a small grin escaped.
“Like she swallowed a basketball,” I said with a laugh. “She's so unbelievably cute too. I swear you can't look her in the eye and not just instantly be a little happier. You always hear people talk about how pregnant girls just seem to glow but Usagi... she's just so... she's always... she's not here!” Everything came crashing down and before I knew it I was sobbing into the woman's shoulder, wailing about how much I missed my lover. After the initial outburst had passed I found myself telling her everything that had happened in a depressive, hiccup riddled fashion.
“..and... and then I just walked out,” I finished, finding a surge of relief had washed over me at releasing so much pent up misery.
“I'm obviously not any kind of specialist on relationships,” she said with a slight smile, “but it would seem to me that you did the right thing by leaving when you did.”
“What do you mean?” I asked with a sniffle.
“Well, it would seem that you gave her something very important to think about and by leaving you gave her the time she would need to do just that. Hino-san, in all my years here I've spoken with many young women who were having difficulties in their relationships but I've yet to come across one like yours before.” I smiled wryly but she shook her head. “I'm speaking of the nature of your troubles and the depth of your feelings for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Up until now they've all been silly little girls who were only playing at romance. You... even before this current situation, you've always had the eyes of someone who had experience beyond her years. I have every bit of confidence that you'll not only be able to work through this current problem, but any that should follow it.”
“I... wow... you really mean that?” I asked, completely blown away by the woman's words.
“I'm not the type of person to lie,” she said with a smile, glancing at something behind me. “Will you do me a favor, Hino-san?”
“After how much better you've made me feel, just name it!”
“While it might not have turned out like the fairytale you dreamed of, please try to have some fun while you're here,” she said, pointing over my shoulder. I could hear a girl clearing her throat behind me and my heart froze. Swallowing hard over the sudden lump in my throat, I turned around slowly to see an utterly adorable little girl with curly black pigtails standing nervously in a puffy white dress. Upon meeting my gaze her cheeks instantly went scarlet. She couldn't have been a day over thirteen...
“Emi-chan?” I offered meekly. Her blush darkened and she nodded, sending her little pigtails bobbing. It took every last bit of willpower not to smack myself in the forehead.
“Um... senpai... would... um... would you...” she mumbled quietly, her voice barely a whisper. I decided to take mercy on the poor little thing, it was a wonder she'd even been able to write that love letter without killing over.
“I would love to dance with you,” I said, offering my hand. She looked as if she were going to faint at first but managed to take my hand and help me stand. I barely managed to stifle a giggle when I saw that the top of her head barely came to my breasts. I was lead out onto the dance floor and waited for a few moments as she fidgeted with her hands, too embarrassed it would seem to put them on my waist. I fought down the urge to tease her with one of the lines from her letter and instead took her hands and put them in place, slipping my own around her neck.
“This is... so romantic, senpai!” she exclaimed, holding my waist from arm's length. I laughed lightly as we swayed slowly back and forth, earning odd looks from most of the couples around us. I did however, notice a group of first year girls who were cheering Emi on, some of them even looking rather jealous.
“I can't believe you'd do this to me!” I heard someone shout from behind me and there was no mistaking who it was this time. It's safe to say my heart skipped a couple beats. “So you really were lying to me!” This couldn't be happening, two times in one day was just too much. “You told me there wasn't anybody else right to my face!” I couldn't speak, I couldn't even breathe. “And here I find you in the arms of this beautiful woman!” It took a moment for the laughter in her voice to register with my panic stricken mind. Confused, I turned around to face her, my breath instantly catching in my throat. She looked so beautiful in her dress...
It was light pink and strapless, taking full advantage of her swollen bust and belly to hold it up. Though you couldn't tell from looking, the midsection was actually a cinch used to expand to fit her belly but from the outside it was perfectly seamless. It puffed out slightly at the waist in the style of a ball gown, the many ripples and folds lined with a swooping beaded seam. My eyes traveled upward, seeing that her hair was done up in her familiar odango style wrapped around matching pink stones. Our eyes met and she smiled, sending a ripple of warmth through my body to settle in my chest. She moved towards me in a slow and measured waddle, managing to appear more graceful than any seven months pregnant woman should.
“We both know what the other is thinking about saying, right?” I nodded, tears in my eyes. “And we both know how the other is going to respond, right?” I nodded again, realizing what she was trying to say. “I know we still have something to work through but that will come over time so for tonight let's just have a good time.” She reached out to caress my cheek.
“Usa...” I whispered, my voice shaky as I took her hand to kiss the back of her fingers in our familiar intimate gesture. She blushed and smiled, glancing around herself nervously for a moment until her eyes settled on the diminutive girl behind me.
“Ah! You must be Emi-chan, Rei's secret lover?” The girl blushed bright scarlet and gave a tiny nod. Usagi turned to me and mouthed the words 'so cute!' before turning her attention back the girl. “You did a wonderful job keeping her company but I'll take over from here, okay?” The girl looked a little disappointed but nodded just the same. I noticed Haruka and Michiru out of the corner of my eye and formed an idea.
“Hey, Emi-chan, would you like to do me a favor?” She brightened considerably and nodded, pigtails bouncing madly in her enthusiasm. “Would you please grab one of your friends over there,” I pointed to the group of squealing first years, “and see if you can keep those ladies company,” I finished, pointing to Haruka and Michiru. “They're very good friends of mine, but they're a little shy. Do you think you could show them a good time?”
“Um... is that... really a girl, senpai?” Usagi and me looked at each other and burst into giggles, Usagi managed to recover first and explained.
“Oh yeah, it's a girl, and she's quite lovely too, she just dresses like that for fun.”
“I'll do it... for you, senpai!” the girl exclaimed before flitting off through the crowd towards her group of friends. Suddenly alone with Usagi, I smiled as the music changed to a more mellow song.
“Care to dance, my princess?” I asked, offering her my arm. My smile cracked slightly when I saw how terrified she was. “Don't worry about them, Usa, just focus on me, okay?” She considered it for a moment, then looped her arm in mine and allowed herself to be led to a less populated area of the dance floor, squeezing tight against my arm as people stared and whispered around us. Upon reaching a suitable spot I tried to wrap my arms around her waist and found it impossible without being at arms length or leaning over her swollen belly awkwardly.
“How humiliating,” Usagi sniffled, “I'm too fat to dance with my lover!”
“Hey now, that's my baby you're talking about there,” I said, patting her belly lightly and receiving a tiny kick in return. “We'll just have to improvise a little.” I moved around behind her and slid my arms through hers to rest comfortably on her belly, my chin resting in the crook of her neck. Usagi sighed and leaned back against me, resting her hands on top of my own and interlacing our fingers. After a bit of swaying to the music I noticed her trembling against me.
“Everybody's staring at me Rei-chan, they're making fun of me, I know it!” There was more than just a hint of panic in her voice.
“Just close your eyes and imagine it's just the two of us looking out our window,” I whispered into her ear before placing a light kiss on her neck. “You look so beautiful tonight, Usa...” I smiled as I spoke the all too familiar words, feeling a bit of the tension drain out of her.
“It's all the dress,” she said airily. “It's absolutely beautiful and it fits like a glove.”
“Well I do know your body like the back of my hand.”
“You're such a...”
“What is the meaning of this!” the familiar nasally drawl of my least favorite teacher assaulted us. Usagi tried to pull away but I held her close.
“Dancing,” I said simply, not even bothering to look at her.
“This is sacrilege and I won't allow it to continue!” the woman all but shrieked. I waved her away lazily.
“I read the rules, they said rather specifically that I could bring a date from outside the school so long as they were a proper age and not once did they say I couldn't dance with a woman. You yourself told me to have fun and that's exactly what I'm doing so please, leave us be.”
“Why you little heathen...”
“That's quite enough!” a rather forceful voice interrupted, this time I actually turned to see the head sister glowering at the woman.
“But... but this is...”
“Oh I know exactly what this is! You're forgetting who it was that welcomed you into the parish!” The woman leaned in a little closer to whisper through clenched teeth. “You couldn't bear the shame of being abandoned by your lover all those years ago and your still taking out your frustrations on others. It is you that is committing sacrilege here!”
“I... you...” The Head Sister ignored the woman and raised her voice so that everyone could hear.
“Here at this school we have always taught that Kami-sama is love and that love is what brings people together. That,” she said, pointing at the two of us, “is the very essence of love! All that narrow minded bigotry does is spread divisive thinking and hate so before you start condemning others I suggest you look yourself over first!” She then turned to us and smiled sweetly. “I do apologize for the interruption girls, please continue. Oh and, Hino-san?”
“Yes?”
“Don't worry about staying to clean up afterwards, Miss Fukino will be taking care of it.” She then proceeded to drag the stuttering woman off the dance floor and out of the room.
“That was... unexpected,” I managed after a while.
“Can... do you think we could sit down for a bit, Rei-chan?” Usagi asked, eyes pleading with mine. I nodded and led her off to my darkened table which, not ten seconds later, was engulfed with girls cooing about how pretty her dress was and how beautiful she looked in it. It wasn't long before it turned into an impromptu round of twenty questions with Usagi gaining more and more confidence as it went along. I turned to see Haruka and Michiru each dancing with one of the first year girls. Almost simultaneously they had to reach down to pry the girl's hands off their butts... only to have them return a few seconds later.
--
Usagi lay with her head on my shoulder, already sleeping blissfully with me not far behind. The day had been an emotional roller coaster and it was finally time to step off the ride. It really had turned out just like a fairytale I thought to myself as the sounds of Haruka and Michiru in the front seat seemed to be getting further and further away.
“Honestly, with how far she got she should have to buy me dinner!” Haruka huffed.
“And what about that teacher, the one wearing the blue dress? She kept pestering me to come up to her office for a little scotch and some 'late night fun,'” Michiru added.
“What a weird school, I swear half the girls are...”
--
To be continued...