The two weeks that followed that night Jessica left the real Spider-man on that rooftop were the toughest. Since then, she'd been constantly on the move, trying to find someplace she could be, as she said, Jessica Drew instead of Peter Parker, despite her brain and her memories telling her otherwise. She was 15 years old -- well, mentally at least, with a boy’s mind stuck in a girl’s body.
It was true, she did feel somewhat more girly (no doubt due the oestrogen flowing through her body rather then testosterone) but despite all the biological changes, it was the mental changes that she was finding the hardest to accept. For the first month of her existence as a girl, she'd been an experiment, kept prisoner. The fact that she was a girl was the least of her worries at the time. But now that she was alone and had all the time to think about her current situation, it was all starting to sink in.
She still felt like a boy in many ways. She still had feelings for MJ, something that confused and bothered her. Also, in the two months she'd been a prisoner, she had adapted to some of the more personal matters. Eventually, after all of the soul searching she decided that what happened happened and there was nothing she could do to change that fact.
"If I can deal with the fact that I'm a clone then I can deal with anything..." was the conclusion she came to. It haunted her to think she wasn't a "real person". Her dreams were nightmares, sometimes her memories of laboratory experiments, sometimes all of the horrors she remembered from the last year, other times the realisation that she could never be with her family or her girlfriend, MJ.
She thought about her Aunt May and MJ a lot. It wasn't something she could just forget about. They were her life and now they were gone. No, not gone, Peter was looking after them still. The real Peter. These were the thoughts that dominated her mind for the first few weeks. In time she accepted that the fact was that she wasn't Peter Parker, nor could she ever be. After all, she'd promised Peter she'd try to be Jessica Drew.
Those two weeks had helped her no doubt. She was finally able to sort out which memories were actually hers and which were Peter’s. She could accept that she was a girl now and perhaps most importantly, she realised that regardless of how she came to be, she was here now and she was determined to live her life.
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