“You know,” a familiar voice said from behind Veronica, making her jump out of her skin a little bit. The library was about to close, near empty already, and her mind had wondered so far out of reality that the reentry was jarring. “After that little speech you gave me the other night? I really didn’t expect it to be you avoiding me.” Buffy finished, leaning both elbows on the edge of the librarian’s desk. “You’re wigging out, aren’t you?”
Despite the content of her statement, the older girl’s tone was playfully accusatory, and she was smirking. Veronica hated cockiness, but she felt the need to take note of the fact that prolonged exposure to that particular Buffy-smile induced a kind of coy smile in response. The battle for control of the corners of her mouth was hard fought, but in the end – all for naught.
“Cell phone.” Veronica explained, “I turned it off so my dad wouldn’t know I was wondering down dark alleys at 2AM chasing junkies in the bad part of town, and I forgot to turn it back on. With the events of Sunday night being… well, what they were – I forgot to call to say I wouldn’t be home. So when I never returned to the apartment – ”
“He decided to trace you, but couldn’t because your cell was off,” Buffy finished, nodding, her teeth gritted in regret, “Which, knowing the legend of Keith Mars, only increased worry and suspicion.” Veronica just nodded, placing palms on the counter.
“When Mac and I got to her room, he was already there asking Parker if I’d spent the night with them in the dorms.” Buffy’s face went pale.
“And?” she asked quickly.
“Parker did some quick thinking; said she had spent the night at Logan’s. Claimed she’d only just gotten back and had no idea… After some pointed eye contact with Mac the gaps got filled.”
“How did you explain keeping the cell off?”
“Said I was on a case and it was a personal favor, didn’t want him horning in. Which of course made him worry, but I told him I was dropping the client – there was nothing to the case and the client was just paranoid, looking for excuses. I think he was just happy to have confirmation that Logan was seriously seeing someone else. Pretty sure that’s where he thought I’d spent the night.” Buffy’s grin returned the barest bit.
“While he can’t really ground me, being an independent adult-type person of a college student variety and nineteen? Been making an effort to be more of a home-body the past couple of weeks. Besides,” Veronica held up the book she’d been reading. It was a textbook for how to study for the California Private Investigator’s Examinations. “Who better to study with than the man I come home to?” she said somewhat whimsically.
“But,” Buffy drew the word out slowly, “Are you really going to drop it?” she asked delicately. Veronica smiled, taking a deep breath before responding. A clatter could be heard as a boy with a stack of books up to his chin clambered to the desk. Buffy vanished into the stacks as the younger girl finished scanning the books’ bar-codes. A few students filed out as she flicked off most of the lights and locked the register. She didn’t look up until she heard the heavy thump-thump of the lock at the library’s main doors. Buffy turned around with a smirk.
“All clear.” Buffy smiled, “Speak plainly.” Then Veronica had a thought, glancing around. Her eyes fell on the small camera hidden in the glass bauble in the ceiling.
“Is that - ?”
“On? Always. But it’s aimed at the desk, so if you wanna have the serious talk in the History annex, then -”
“I meant is that how you knew I was here.” She clarified, though she was eyeing the camera wearily. Buffy nodded towards the adjoining conference-looking room.
Veronica was shocked when she found her back being pressed against the rear of the door once it closed behind them… because this was the opposite of what she’d just tried to do. But rather than the kissing Veronica had planned to initiate in Buffy’s position, Buffy just seemed intent to smirk. Her eyes, however, were serious.
“Firstly, I appreciate the secret-keeping. I know you don’t like keeping things from your dad and the last thing I wanna do is ruin that relationship, Mars. And secondly, nuh uh,” Buffy grunted, shaking her head, though her hold moved from the younger woman’s shoulders to around her waist, “You still could have found me, could have called – hell, a text message would have settled this in less than a minute – and you didn’t. Avoidy. Why?” Veronica blushed.
“I dunno if ‘wigging’ would be the right word,” Veronica began, somewhat diplomatically, “But to say that all this is clear-cut and entirely non-murky to me is just pure lies.” Veronica felt her hands move to grasp the hands on her hips. “I have no idea what I’m doing. And if Speed has taught me anything, it’s that Keanu will always sound like Bill S. Preston and relationships blooming from events fit for Action Blockbusters are kinda doomed.” Buffy laughed, nodding.
“Kinda why I’m content to be single most of the time.” She admitted, a little shamefully, “So I can’t say I would blame you if this is the point where we both decide pull the ejection-seat lever.” Veronica shook her head at this,
“No, see, that’s what I mean – exactly. Me too.” Buffy was starting to look confused, “Okay, so different kind of Action Movies, but same premise. There’s always the guy with that irresolvable conflict, the love with that perfectly impossible someone who will never really understand, you know? And they mess up sometimes, and they make your life harder all too often but then there are the moments, the ones most romantics wait for and never get and I’m rambling-and-I-think-I’ll-just-stop-now…” she mumbled off at the end. Buffy laughed, leaning into her a little bit, full on grinning now.
“I’m with you; finish the thought.” The older woman responded quietly, her voice had a kind of intimate understanding to it and Veronica felt her blood rush a little.
“And you get it.” Veronica sighed, her words warm against Buffy’s face. “You get all of it, and there’s understanding and… I’m not dropping it. I’m here, I just need to get comfortable with not being uncomfortable or over-thinking the why.”
“You do get it,” Buffy mumbled, biting her lip, “Sounds like you’ve been through all this before. More than once?” Veronica nodded. Buffy did too. “Yeah.” She leaned her forehead against Veronica’s. “Just to warn you, I’m having that I’m the sober one feeling again. Like I should be talking us out of this, or not even giving you the choice I mean what if it’s me and I just… I’m old.” Buffy blurted. “I’m old, you’re amazing and I’m not sure I can do this. I shouldn’t do this.” Neither saw Veronica’s smile at this, their eyes were shut.
“It’s kind of too late, it sort of already started,” Veronica said, leaning back and opening her eyes, “Or did you miss that whole kissing thing? And the jealousy and the protectiveness and possessiveness – this is here, Buffy. I’d say it’s kind of already way too late.” She knew her smile was the cocky one now, but the way the fingers grasped at her hips a little tighter at the mention of putting an end to this made her confident.
“Yeah, but I already know how this is going to play out,” there was sadness there, worry and regret, “It’s gonna end. And I’m going to be the one that ended it. But should I do it now, or risk ‘mores the pain’ and see how it ends later?”
“Alright,” Now Veronica was annoyed; “I’ve already gotten this speech this term – so let’s skip it, shall we? Who’s this Satsu guy?” Buffy’s eyes bugged suddenly. “Tell me, and it might end later - don’t tell me and it can end right now. Who is he?” Buffy was frozen, her eyes wide, her feet having moved into a stance that made running away easier.
“He who?” Buffy demanded, “Satsu?” Buffy asked, confused. Veronica nodded curtly.
“Yeah. Is he one of your perfectly-impossibles?” her tone was somewhat accusatory, and Buffy’s face slowly split into a smile.
“You want to know about Satsu?” The older girl asked. Something about the amused tone told Veronica she had no idea what she was really asking.
(To Be Continued…)