Kailey was being gently woken. “Hey, up you get, sleepy.” Roz lightly taps Kailey 's leg.
Kailey looks up at Roz, already dressed. “Think I might hide here today, I don’t have any energy.” She looks around at the mess of clothes on the floor. “And I don’t seem to have any clothes.”
Roz was nodding when their door opens and the gruff female guard walks in.
“Out!” She barked.
Kailey remembers that this was the guard from the first day, who had treated her so roughly, and groans, “I’m just going to stay here few more hours...” She says, and snuggles into the bed.
The guard steps forward, “This isn’t a holiday retreat, you know, get your lazy ass out of bed. Now.”
“Come on, leave her alone. She had a rough night.”
“Really? My heart bleeds. Now get up, Kailey, or I’ll make sure you get up.” She threatens.
Kailey sits up groggily, her head splitting. Roz squats down in front of her, “How about some breakfast? Make you feel better.”
Kailey shakes head, “I can’t do it, I can’t cope.” She breaks down.
Roz cuddles the young girl, “You’ve made a start. Have a shower and I’ll wash your clothes.”
Kailey finds Roz in the washing room, folding up their clothes. “Thanks for this.” She says, and helps Roz finish it off.
“Feeling any better?” Asks Roz.
Kailey shrugs, “I’m sure part of me does. Hey, Roz, why are you doing this? I’m nothing special. I don’t even think I’m going to get through this. I’ve quit before, and I just fall back into old ways.”
Roz grabs her hand, “Kailey, if my daughter was in trouble and I wasn't there, I hope someone would look out for her and give her support. We just have to keep you distracted.”
Kailey nods.
“And away from that scrag Ang.” She added warningly.
Kailey blushes, “Uh-huh.”
At lunch, Kailey sits with Roz and her friends. Kailey doesn't eat, she just drinks tea.
Roz holds up a fork with salad on it, “C'mon now, just a little.” She wheedles.
Kailey grimaces at the sight, “No, I can’t. My stomach just wants to hurl.”
“You need to eat something, kid, you’re wasting away. You look like death.” Says the woman next to Roz.
Roz flashed her a glare., “No she doesn’t. She’s looking a little pale, but a healthy pale” encourages Roz.
Kailey laughs, “Healthy pale. Gee, I need to check my paint pallet for that colour.”
Kailey does start to pick off Roz’s plate, which Roz encouragingly pushes towards her.
Later that afternoon Kailey is in the exercise yard, leaning against a wall and sunning herself. It is the first time in a while she feels moderately human. The craving is there, but pushed to back of her mind, at least until--
“Hello, girlfriend, miss me?” Ang says as she places a kiss on Kailey’s lips.
Kailey backs away slightly, “Ang, don’t.” She looks around nervously.
“What's wrong? Oh, you need something. Okay.” Ang pulls out a tablet and shows it to her. Kailey's mouth instantly goes dry, and she starts shaking.
“No. Put it away, please, I’m trying not to--”
Ang laughs, “What for? C'mon, it’s free.” She offers it again.
“I distinctively heard her decline your offer, Ang.” Comes a gruff voice from behind Kailey. Kailey jumps, and whirls around to face Roz. Roz’s face is red, and her eyes flaring. Kailey groans at the brewing trouble.
“Hey. old bitch, fuck off. This is a private discussion with my girl.” Ang tries to push the tablet into Kailey hand, “C'mon, you know it helps.”
Kailey refuses and backs into Roz. Ang snarls at Kailey, “Yeah? You think its bad now? It will eat at you, it will get you, and when it does I’m always in need of pleasuring.”
Kailey can't listen anymore and walks off. She heads inside, and Roz catches up.
“Hey, it’s okay. Look, you’re making progress.”
They reach their cell and Kailey starts pacing, “Progress? But I wanted to, I wanted that tablet so badly, and I probably would have taken it too.”
Roz moved towards the upset girl, “But you didn’t, and you are not going to either. Not while I’m around.” She says determinedly.
Kailey nods, and Roz shuffles uncomfortably. “By the way... what Ang said- is that what you did to get drugs from her, have sex?”
Kailey groans and sits on her bed, head in hands, “I don’t want to discuss this, Roz.”
“But, Kailey--”
Kailey growls, “Don’t judge me, Roz. We all do things to get the things we desire. That’s why we are both locked up in this shithole, remember?”
Roz acknowledges the remark, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t judging, it's just... well, she’s not really that pleasing to the eye.” Roz laughs nervously.
Kailey leaned back against the wall and smirked “Oh really? So she doesn’t do it for you, you’re saying.”
Roz shrugs, “I’m sure there are nicer girls in here.”
“Oh? If I weed out the murderers and psychos, what am I left with?” She grins, and Roz shrugs.
“I think there's a thief, and I believe she's pretty nice.” Kailey answers her own question, and laughs at Roz’s reaction.
“Kailey! I’m nearly 20 years old than you dear girl. Plus I’m married- with kids.” She chokes out.
“So? You're just making my point. You are the only one I really trust, you’re my strength at the moment.” With that last comment, the two go to bed.
Kailey tosses and turns. She can't get comfortable, and groans as her head keeps throbbing.
“Kailey?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll try and be quieter.”
“Come over here.” Offers Roz
“I don’t--”
“You don’t argue, just get into my bed.” She says firmly. Kailey climbs in next to Roz, and relaxes when she puts an arm over, her pulling her closer. Her lips gently spoke against Kailey’s ear.
“Just relax your body,” Roz strokes rhythmically her arm, “Let yourself go.”
Kailey closes her eyes and grabs Roz’s hand, holding it to her, and they fall asleep.
Over the rest of the week Kailey gets stronger with Roz’s support, and she also continues to share Roz’s bed. Late one night Roz is woken by Kailey crying and shaking. Roz tries to comfort her, but Kailey is too distraught.
“Hey, hey. It’s only a dream.” Roz comforts.
“No...no, it wasn’t. It was real. God, I need something, I need it to stop!” Kailey tries to struggle free, but Roz only tightens her hold.
“Hey, hey. Come on, talk to me, what's wrong? Get it out.” She strokes Kailey's hair, trying to reassure her.
Tears flowed down the younger girl's face. “It should have been me, I should have died...” She sobs loudly. Roz wipes the tears from Kailey’s face, then Kailey keeps talking.
“I was high, and drunk, with friends at this party. When I left it was raining, and I didn’t want to walk home so I… I stole a car.” She stutters.
Roz squeezes her hand, thinking that it's good for Kailey to talk about this, “Go on.”
“I was so tired, the lights were blurring, I couldn’t see clearly. I thought he was on the wrong side of the road... but it was me.” She starts sobbing again, “It all happened so quick, and yet so slowly. I couldn’t do anything, and then there was this force that hit me. I remember lying on the ground with paramedics looking at me. I could feel the cool rain on my face, then this pain in my side. I heard this scream, this woman screaming 'Save him! Save him, not her, it’s her fault!'”
Kailey chest feels heavy, her breaths come in short pants.
“It’s okay, Kailey. I’ve got you.”
“Roz, I killed this man. I destroyed a family all because I didn’t want to walk in the rain. Because I’m a fucking junkie. The only thing the family and I agree on is that I should be the one dead, not him.”
Roz strokes Kailey, “Well you’re not dead, and you've been given a second chance, so take it. You have to deal with what you did, you need to make peace and move on.”
“But that's what I deserve, Roz.”
“Nonsense. Deal with the consequences, accept it. You can’t give up, you have been given a second chance, Kailey, and not everybody does. Make use of it, become a better person. You can't do anything better if you're dead.”
Kailey continues to shake, she doesn't want to listen to Roz justifying her life. She turns to roll away, but Roz pulls her back.
“Kailey, are you listening to me?”
Kailey closes her eyes and tries pushing Roz away.
Roz pins Kailey and looks down at the distraught girl who is refusing to listen to her. On a sudden impulse, Roz lowered her lips onto Kailey, pressing down onto her lips. Kailey offers little resistance to the unexpected attention, and moans when Roz kisses her again with a little more effort.
Roz has no idea what she is doing, but knows it's having an impact as Kailey stops fighting and relaxes. Roz breaks the kiss and Kailey looks into her eyes. She moves forward to Roz, who doesn't back away, and captures her lips in a more passionate kiss. Though Roz began this, she now feels bad at her lack of self control in turning back the younger girl, and backs away.
“Kailey, I...”
Kailey smiled, “It’s okay.” She snuggles down into Roz chest, and drifts off to sleep