Story: Go Team Possible! (all chapters)

                Another day at Middleton High meant another class with Mr. Barkin.  The permanent substitute teacher seemed to be everywhere, namely everywhere Kim Possible—head cheerleader, world-class super spy, and former babysitter—didn’t want him to be.  The man demanded attention and energy, two things she did not have since the previous night consisted of her flying to the Caribbean to deal with Senor Senior Senior’s newest venture: pirating on the high seas.  She smelled like fish, had no sleep, felt like a frigate ran her over, and didn’t have her history homework done.

                Which was why she so did not want to see Mr. Barkin stalking around at the front of the class like a rabid animal.

                “Ms. Flowers tells me you had to answer some questions about the World War I.  I’m here to collect.” 

                His massive chin jutted out further as he surveyed his students.  He sized each of them up, his instincts probing for fear, fear of homework undone and the threat of detention.  There!  In the back of the class, a familiar face had an unfamiliar expression on it. 

                “Possible,” said Mr. Barkin in a too casual voice, “I don’t see any homework on your desk.  Where is it?”

                “Well, you see,” Kim squirmed, “I kinda had this… thing and…”

                From the right side of the room, Bonnie Rockwaller pounced on her rival’s uneasiness.  “Oooo, wouldn’t you know it?  K doesn’t have her homework!  What happened?  Out saving the world from mutant snowmen again?”

                “Sorry, I didn’t see you or sisters last night, B.”

                “Oh, you didn’t go there!”

                “I went there, took pictures, and came back!”

                “Possible!  Rockwaller!”  Mr. Barkin roared.  He turned first to the brunette and pinned her down with his fiercest, sternest sneer.  “You do not disrespect your classmates or speak out of turn, young lady.”

                “But I-”

                “But nothing, Rockwaller, I’ll see you in detention today.  Now,” the man turned to a frightened and flushed Kim, “as for you, Possible, I expected more.  No homework, no manne-”

                The deafening slam of the door closing startled the entire class.  Every single eye focused on the newcomer wearing dark sunglasses, a pair of tight, black jeans, and a hunter green tank top.  A black backpack slung over one shoulder, a green iPod on her waist, and a slight smirk tugging on these thin, glossy lips finished the almost-trademark ensemble.

                “Would you look at this: it’s her highness, Ms. Goliac.  Class begins at 8:30 AM and not at your convenience!”

                Ms. Goliac—Sheena Goliac on her drivers license, Shego to her friends—whipped out a note from her pocket and stuck it in her teacher’s face.

                A befuddled Mr. Barkin read aloud, “‘Please excuse Sheena for her tardiness this morning.  There was a major car accident on the Middleton Bridge which we were stuck behind.  Sincerely Mrs. Goliac.’”  He peered over the slip of paper and caught a face-full of Shego’s winningest smile.  “A likely story,” he grimaced.  “Get to your seat and I won’t have you picking trash after school!  Now, as for Possi -”

                “Wait!”

                “What now?!” Mr. Barkin howled, fury and spit ready to spill forth from his foaming mouth like Mount St. Helens’ lava.

                Shego threw her backpack on the ground, rifled through the contents, and produced a folder which she promptly slapped on Kim’s desk.  “You forgot your history homework at my house,” the black hair girl winked.  “Thought you’d like it back, Pumpkin.”

                “Please and thank you,” breathed Kim as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

                Mr. Barkin observed Shego suspiciously as the girl took her customary seat next to her partner in crime (and occasionally justice).  Deciding his class had been delayed enough by these antics, he gave the redhead one final, poignant glare.  “Possible, I’m giving you detention for insulting Rockwaller.  You might have your homework, but you’re not above common decency.  While what Rockwaller said was out of line, you cannot retaliate like you did in class!”

                “What if they kiss and make up?”

                Bonnie, Kim, and Mr. Barkin each boomed, “No!”

                Shego shook her head and folded her arms.  “Mr. Barkin, I’m sure whatever happened was a misunderstanding between Kim and Bonnie.  I mean, do you really want to stay after school to watch those two, especially when it’s such a nice day out?”

                “It is quite sunny,” the man allowed.

                “And aren’t you always telling us to be mature, responsible adults?  Isn’t forgiving and forgetting as mature as you can get?  Mr. Barkin, we’re seniors now, and I think having them apologize to each other will send a great message to the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors about what maturity is.”

                “Hmm… you do bring up a valid point…”

                Shego eyed the two cheerleaders.  “Well?”

                Taking a deep breath, the redhead gathered her willpower to force out a strained, “I’m sorry, Bonnie.”

                An infinitely more heartfelt “Up yours, Possible” followed.

                “Rockwaller!”

                As Mr. Barkin focused his wrath on Bonnie, Kim leaned over to her best friend and whispered, “Where’d you get this?  I didn’t even do last night’s homework.”

                “Who said anything about last night’s homework?” scoffed Shego.  “I said you had history homework in there, not last night’s history homework.”

                The two shared a devious smile and a covert low-five before Mr. Barkin stomped back to the front of the room to begin class. 

*****************

                “I’m telling you, Pumpkin, you’ve got to put that girl back in her place.  You know, like WHAM,” an enthusiastic swing of a backpack followed the word, “with a loaded pom-pom.  She’d think twice about dissin’ you… and eating solid food.”

                Picking her way through the lunch rush, Kim sighed as she neared the lockers.  “Bonnie is not worth getting a bad mark put on my record.  Besides, she’s ‘high school’ level threat, nothing like Monkeyfist or Zorpox.”

                “Record this, record that, I don’t care about getting a mark on my record.  What do you say?  Want me to make her the next Nancy Kerrigan?”

                “Shego!  So not the drama.  And so not funny either!  Nancy Kerrigan got really hurt!”

                The black haired girl raised her hands in defeat.  “Ok, ok, I’m just saying though.  It’s not like fashion designers have to have sparkling clean records to make clothes.  Look at Martha Stewart.”

                To the matter-of-fact self-assessment, Kim responded with an uncomfortable silence.  Ever since they were in preschool, that’s all Shego wanted to be: a fashion designer.  The girl wanted people around the world to wear her clothes, look good, and feel good about themselves.  Some of the very first games they played?  Dress up, and every time Shego made the outfits more outrageous, more daring.  Fashion was her world, and despite her being good at it, Kim felt her best friend could do so much more with herself.

                For one thing, Shego was smart—lazy too, but really smart.  Since classes bored her, she always did the bare minimum to skate by, her garnered “free time” used to doodle out sketches of clothes and not to proofread book reports.  Second, Shego was athletic.  Had to be since she was half of Team Possible, the dynamic, world-saving duo who used their martial prowess to defeat all manners of villainy.  Third, well, Shego had this way with people, the ability to wrap anyone around her finger.  The way she talked, the way she carried herself, she was so charismatic, so easy to like.  All the brains, body, and beauty, and her greatest ambition was to design clothes?

                Kim couldn’t understand it, and ever since they’d been applying to colleges, she worried about Shego more and more.  Yes, both of them loved clothes, but clothes were clothes!  It wasn’t a career!  Not like it was Kim’s place to worry or anything, but she worried, especially seeing how serious Shego was.   Objectively, Shego wasn’t taking advantage of her talents; selfishly, Kim felt like they’d been drifting apart.

                There weren’t a lot of schools that boasted both great fashion design and criminology programs.

                “Whoa,” said Shego as she stopped Kim from walking past their lockers, “you were a million miles away.  What gives?”

                “Just thinking,” Kim shrugged, fumbling with her combination. 

                “About?”

                “College and stuff.  It’s a big step.”

                “It’s gonna be same old, same old,” Shego dismissed.  “We’re going to get into whichever school we want, kick some evil villain butt between classes, and goof around on weekends.  How’s that different from now?”

                “Yeah, but I was thinking about the future, like after school.”

                Upon Kim’s locker opening, a picture taped onto the inside of the door snared Shego’s customarily hummingbird-like attention.  “Pumpkin,” she squealed in delight, “where’d you get that?!”

                The photo showed the two girls in full mission regalia—Kim in her midriff baring shirt and cargos, Shego in her black and green body suit—perched atop Middleton’s city hall while waving goodbye to a news crew who filmed their efforts to stop Duff Killigan from turning the building into a giant windmill for his new “miniature” golf course.  It showed Kim with one hand reaching for a rope ladder dropped from a helicopter just out of view and Shego on one knee in front of the redhead; both smiled broadly at another job well done.  The quintessential shot ended up on GJ’s recruiting brochure proclaiming, “Team Possible Conquers the Impossible!”

                “Fun times,” nodded Shego.

                A distant “Sure was” from Kim broke the mood though.

                “Spill it: you’re terrible at hiding how something is bothering you.”

                “Do you want to be doing this?”

                A blank stare met the question.  “Erm, need more details here.”

                “This,” emphasized Kim, pointing to the Team Possible picture, “working for GJ, taking on villains, and saving the world from ninja monkeys.”

                “Of course I want to be doing it.  Can’t let you have all the fun, can I?”

                “But it takes up so much time and I know you’re not interested in doing this law enforcement stuff later on.”

                “Whoa, are you kicking me out of Team Possible?”

                “What?  No!”

                “Then what are you saying, Pumpkin?  If you ask me, sounds a lot like you don’t want my help anymore.”

                Kim bowed her head and focused on the ground.  “I feel bad about dragging you along for every mission, Shego.  I mean, for the past few months, I’ve been running on four hours of sleep every night.  It sucks, but I choose to do this.  I chose to set up a website and help people.  I want to go to college, major in criminology, and join GJ as a full-fledged agent.  Through all of this, you’re wherever I need you, watching my back, holding off henchmen, and fishing me out of deathtraps when I get in over my head.  I… I… I guess I feel like I’ve been a crummy best friend lately.  Everything we do is all about me, and I forget that you have a life too, that you’re probably just as tired as I am, that I’m being real selfish.”

                “Don’t go all Clay Aiken, mopey eyed, emo-kid on me,” Shego chuckled as she hugged Kim.  “Best friends stick together, period.  You say you choose to do all that crazy super agent stuff; well, I choose to back you up whenever and wherever you need it.  We’ve been inseparable ever since pre-K and I’m not about to find a new best friend now.”

                “Still, you’ve got to be-”

                “Sorry to break it to you, Kimmie, but we come as a pair.  Who kept me from getting squished when DNAmy’s turtle-gorilla thing got loose?  Who cut English class just to get me my PE clothes that I forgot at home?  Who is my only constant ally against my crazy brothers?  That’s what makes you the greatest: you care and you make it known.  You think I’d hang out with conceited losers like Bonnie and her minions?  Um, hell no.  You think I give my Club Banana manager’s discount to anybody?  Like, dream on.  Stop guilt tripping yourself because seriously, it’s no big.”

                The redhead smiled sheepishly.  “You sure?”

                “Swear on a raspberry, triple cookie, neapolitan, banana split float sure.”

                “Bleah,” Kim shuddered at the concoction’s mention, “I don’t know how you eat that.”

                “With a spoon and a ginormous appetite.”

                Like all good conversations, it came to screeching halt when both girls’ Kimmunicators belted its distinctive ring tone.  Kim flipped hers out while Shego peered over her friend’s shoulder.

                “Hey Drew,” greeted Kim, “what’s the sitch?”

                The blue hued, braces wearing boy genius—clad in his trademark reversed hat and Go City Bombers baseball shirt—waved at the pair.  “Hey KP, Shego!  Got a hit on the website saying Zorpox and Monique are robbing the Bueno Nacho by Middleton High.”

                Shego’s turn to shudder.  “Bueno Nacho?  Like total gross gag.”

                “This coming from Ms. Raspberry, Triple Cookie, Neapolitan, Banana Split Float?”

                “Watch it, Pumpkin.”

                “Ahem,” coughed Drew, “looks like Zorpox is up to something too because he’s not leaving even though he has the cash.”

                Kim rolled her eyes.  “He’s always up to something.  We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

                “Do you two need a ride?”

                “It’s Bueno Nacho, Drew.  I think the chimirtos can manage while Shego and I run there.”

 *******************

- To be continued...

                “Ok Monique, are you clear about the plan?”

                “Crystal, boss!”

                “Booyah,” quietly chuckled Zorpox.  He turned around to take stock of the Bueno Nacho employees huddled behind the cash registers.  The evil megalomaniac pointed at them, which buoyed by his ruthless reputation, elicited a collective whimper.  “All of you are here for one reason: to witness the destruction of Team Possible by the omnipotent, the unstoppable Zorpox the Conqueror.  After I work them over like an order of nacos, I want you to run and spread the news of my impending ultimate victory.  You cowardly lemmings will serve me as I rule this puny world with an iron fist!”

                “Um, question?”

                Zorpox narrowed his gaze at a pimple faced teen with his arm raised.  “What?”

                “Are you going to kill them?”

                “Kill them?”  Zorpox laughed.  “Kill them?!  Team Possible?  No, those two are too valuable a resource to just k-i-l-l.  I’m going to do one better though: I’ll turn them evil.  With them helping my cause for world domination, nothing will be able to stand in my way!”

                “Another question.”

                “Yes?”

                “If you’re unstoppable and omnipotent, why do you need to destroy Team Possible before taking over the world?”

                “Monique?”

                “On it, boss.”

                Sounds of a thorough thrashing squashed any signs of bravery Bueno Nacho’s employees gathered.  Judging by the way Monique twisted and contorted the boy into a pretzel, massive chiropractor bills loomed in her poor victim’s future.  Basking in the cries of pain and cracks of bones, Zorpox the Conqueror waited for his greatest nemesis to arrive.

                Kim Possible.  The name alone made him nauseous.  It was people like her—beautiful, popular, overbearing, arrogant, outgoing, successful—that turned a young, fun-loving Ron Stoppable into an embittered Zorpox.  Those bullies hounded him in Camp Wannaweep, gave him wedgies, rabies, and worse.  They laughed, all of them, all the counselors, campers, and even his own parents.  They had no idea they’d pushed too far, not even when the camp was “mysteriously” overrun by mutant badgers, not even when Zorpox stood over the abandoned torture ground and declared himself ruler of Camp Wannaweep, not even when he turned down a promising culinary career in order to be a criminal mastermind. 

                Since those fateful days, he dedicated himself to revenge against the cruel world.  He’d show the bullies he wouldn’t be bullied anymore; he’d make everyone kiss his boots.  The kid no one even wanted to help would have everything anyone could ever dream of.  Ron Stoppable might’ve been shy and weak, but Zorpox the Conqueror knew nothing of fear or failure.  Kim Possible and her meddling sidekick embodied  and upheld the establishment he tried to destroy, always crashing his party and telling he couldn’t steal what he needed.  Stupid justice-enamored girls…

                “We’ll see,” Zorpox muttered while rubbing his hands together.  “Shego, there’s a glaring weakness in her.   Once the sidekick falls to my newest weapon, getting Possible will be elementary.”

                “In your dreams, loser!”

                “What?  Who said that?!”

                A convenient skylight on the ceiling shattered to admit one jumping Shego onto the counters.  Kim charged through the front door, drew her hairdryer/grappling hook, and shot it at a still preoccupied Monique.  Being the agile thief she was, the woman broke away from her battered clerk and back flipped out of the way.

                “Ha!” she spat.  “Missed me, Possible!”

                “Might wanna rethink that.”

                The voice belonged to Shego, and in her hands lay Kim’s grappling hook.  With her at one end of the room, Kim on the other, and their adversaries caught between, the two pulled the rope tight and raced across the room, catching both Zorpox and Monique in their chests and knocking them down.  However, Zorpox never fought unprepared or fair.  With the push of a button on his ring, all the lights in the restaurant gave a blinding flash.  Since he and Monique wore sunglasses with their outfits, the sudden burst bothered them none.  Kim and Shego, however, found themselves seeing stars.

                Zorpox nodded at his henchwoman.  “Occupy Possible while I take care of the sidekick.”

                No further words passed their lips as Monique went to work by throwing the redhead into the soda fountain.  Meanwhile, Zorpox leapt to his feet and sent Shego flying into the kitchen with a thunderous jump kick.  He quickly followed but underestimated his opponent’s fortitude: by the time he burst through the doors, Shego had the wherewithal to grab a pan and make a very Zorpox-like indentation into the bottom.

                Clutching his throbbing face, Zorpox screamed, “Damn it!  Why can’t you stay down for just a second?!”

                “Because I wouldn’t get to do this!” 

                A massive blow courtesy of a sack of onions launched the villain into a wall and collapsed him like a sack of potatoes.  The hit knocked the wind out of him, but his analytical mind also realized it also distanced himself from the sidekick.  While Shego was good, perhaps even on his level when his Mystical Monkey Powers kicked in at full blast, she couldn’t dodge bullets.

                Or in this case, a ray gun.

                Zorpox rolled onto his side, unholstered his secret weapon (“The Attitudinator!”), and fired.  A beam of light bathed the dark haired girl for a solid heartbeat and a half.  When Zorpox put the gun down, he started chortling.

                Shego suspiciously glanced at her hands and feet.  “What did you do to me?”

                “You just got Attitudinated!”

                Not finding the situation funny at all, her fists balled up to deliver a whooping complete, so vast, so unforgettable-

                “Don’t you feel it, Shego?”  Zorpox, smirk growing by the second, slowly shambled to his feet.  “I stole the Attitudinator from a Go City villain named Electronique.  It’s suppose to make a person’s innermost repressed feelings surface in the nastiest, most devastating way.  On well-adjusted people, this little gadget is absolutely useless, good for maybe a few embarrassing laughs but nothing more.  On certain individuals like yourself, however, things could get extreme.”

                “I’ll show you extreme!”  With that preamble, she lunged forward.

                Only when Zorpox put his hand up and commanded, “Stop where you are,” Shego cringed in fear and halted dead in her tracks.

                “Just what I thought.”  Hands clasped behind his back, the villain circled his captive, appraising her like a jeweler.  “So strong, confident, tough, rebellious, and stubborn, yet you willingly play sidekick to Kim ‘I’m So Perfect’ Possible.  Didn’t take me long to notice you’ve got a submissive streak the size of a super grande naco.”  Reflexively, Shego looked away, but Zorpox grabbed her chin and forced her to watch him as he talked.  “You crave being given orders by someone stronger than you.  You need to be someone’s bitch, yet you put up this tough act.  You don’t have to act anymore, Shego, because I’m not giving you a choice.”

                Her brain told her the feelings bubbling up from nowhere were artificial.  Her heart fought against these troubling emotions.  Her spirit refused to give in to Zorpox’s manipulation.  With tears in her eyes and her body trembling in long hidden terrors from ages ago, Shego stammered, “G… Go… fu… fuck your…. yourself…”

                The villain nodded to himself, impressed.  “Good.  You’re still fighting, but you’re losing fast.  The more tired you are, the more you’ll be ready to accept what you will become: a pliable, naïve soldier who will listen to the strongest person you know, Zorpox the Conqueror!”

                The raised voice buckled Shego’s knees.  Against her will, she groveled on the floor like a child who’d done something very wrong.  Her mind began overloading, conflicting instincts tearing at her sanity.  She wanted so bad to succumb to the Attitudinator's effects, but a single, undeniable force stopped her.  It wasn’t a feeling she could identify since it was buried so deep in her psyche she refused to focus on it.  Whatever it was, it was strong enough to make her not completely break down.  Maybe if she held on long enough, Kim would…

                As if on cue, the redhead, drenched head to toe with soda but minus one Monique, shouldered her way into the kitchen.  The loud noise startled Shego who gave a pathetic yelp and buried herself against Zorpox’s pant leg.

                “What did you do to Shego?”

                Innocently, Zorpox looked to his left, to his right, then pointed at himself.  “Who?  You mean me?”

                “Yes you!  I don’t see another campy super villain anywhere else!”

                “Temper, temper, Possible.  I could break your precious sidekick’s neck and she wouldn’t even try to stop me.”  He grinned and patted Shego’s head.  “She’d just sit here crying, and then snap, game over.”

                “Shego?” asked Kim, worry and a hint of desperation in her voice.  “Can you hear me?  Shego?  Please, say something, look at me, anything!”

                “That’s right, Shego, look at her.  Look at the person you used to listen to, then look at me and realize I’m the one you should have been working for all along.”  Neither voice budged the girl from her place on Zorpox’s leg.  The villain, none too patient, violently yanked Shego’s hair back and forced her to look at Kim.  “Look at her,” he commanded.  “Is this what you’ve been fighting beside?  Risking your life with?  Being second best to?  She’s fragile and weak.  She’s about to fall apart and I haven’t even thrown a punch.  Go, destroy her, prove to yourself she’s nothing.”

                Fear motivated her.  Zorpox’s voice dripped with strength and confidence.  The way he tugged on her hair, the way he made her need to do things, the way he brought her to her knees, everything about him reeked of power and safety.  Power… power was good, if only to protect herself from the unknown.  A powerful person could protect her because she was weak and vulnerable.

                Hesitantly, Shego began to open her tear soaked eyes.

                “Kill her, my pet, kill her or I’ll kill you.”

                With a none too gentle push, Zorpox shoved Shego into Kim.  The redhead reached out to catch her best friend, but Shego, in her confused and hazy state, mistook the gesture for an attack.  A bone jarring punch to the chin lifted Kim off the ground and deposited her into the taco condiments.  Awash in sour cream, cheese, and Diablo Sauce, she had no defense when Shego dashed over and continued raining down blows.

                For his part, this turn of events angered Zorpox.  Honestly, he only wanted the sidekick to distract Kim enough so he’d get a clear shot at her with his Attitudinator.  If his observations were accurate (and they always were), Possible had an immense fear of failure and covered it up by overachieving.  Why would someone fight so hard for so many people they didn’t know and wouldn’t care about?  That’s all this so-called heroine was: a dirty overachiever who privately took pleasure in her attention-grabbing accolades because she never wanted a bad word said about her. 

                No one would question her confidence if they never had the notion to, right?

                Well, that’s where the Attitudinator came in, except right now, he didn’t have an opening.

                Forget that, the way those heroines positioned themselves in their struggle, he’d have a better shot at hitting his own behind.  And another hit on Shego?  Bad, because didn’t Electronique say a second shot would reverse the effects?  Couldn’t be sure but he didn’t want to risk it.  God, why did the sidekick have to be so annoying even when working for him?!

                Speaking about Shego, the shaking of her head cleared her vision by flinging away the tears.  Not only that, but she always thought better and faster while fighting, so it came as no surprise when her previously shattered mind slowly pulled itself back together.  More of her self-control returned the more she concentrated, and she concentrated much more while beating people.  Her deathly fear still remained strong as ever, but as the last of her tears dropped away, she saw—really, truly saw—who she was beating.

                “Oh my God,” she gasped, “Kimmie!”

                The single undeniable force which kept her sane through this ordeal materialized both physically and mentally: Kimberly Ann Possible.  Ever since they were kids, Shego would do anything for Kim.  Their tight friendship lasted all the usual growing pains, but when puberty came around, it became so much more to Shego.  Started that one time they were talking about breasts, like when they’d develop them, how big they’d get, and if the boys would notice.  For an incredibly short but lasting moment, Shego wanted to be the only one to ever see, let alone touch, Kim’s breasts.  She attributed the stab of jealousy to friendly protectiveness, but then the dreams came.  They were innocuous at first, just imagined sensations of soft flesh, then they grew braver, more graphic.  For months straight at all odd hours of the night, underwear soaked and nipples hardened, Shego would wake up gasping for breath and shaking with forbidden pleasure.  Nights bleed into days, dreams by her side and robbing her of peace.  Being with Kim dominated her subconscious to frightening proportions.

                Instead of risking friendship and reputation, Shego locked these fantasies into the furthest recesses of her mind.  She got a job at Club Banana, joined the soccer team, worked on the yearbook, and beat away the occasional relapse by doodling in her fashion sketchbook.  Only Kim loved shopping at Club Banana, was also part of the soccer team, contributed pictures to the yearbook, and more often than not posed as a model in Shego’s clothing designs. 

                Denial made those tumultuous moments bearable.

                But now, the Attitudinator opened this pandora’s box.  Repressed lust from years ago came back with a vengeance, but something else tempered it: love.  Instead of wanting to kiss those red, pouty lips, Shego wanted to see them smile.  She treasured their friendship, and that strong bond overcame the instinct to see Kim as nothing but a sexual object.  Kim was… was… everything.  She was Shego’s entire world and that trumped whatever chaos Zorpox brought.

                Kim blinked when the hits stopped.  “Ow,” she winced, more to fill the awkward silence than to express pain. 

                Shego immediately scooped Kim into a fierce hug.  Tears—these out of remorse—escaped her as she whispered, “Pumpkin, I’m so sorry, I swear I’ll never do anything like this again… I don’t know what happened and… and…”

                “No big,” said the redhead.  “Figured you were acting funny because of Zorpox.  I mean, what kind of BFF would I be if I couldn’t see that?”

                “Kimmie, you know I’d never hurt you…”

                Pulling away, Kim held Shego’s gaze and gave a lopsided grin.  “Ditto here.”

                Blushing, Shego glanced away as she finished her previous thought.  “… because I love you.”

                Not understanding the full emotions behind the statement, Kim replied in her most innocent way, “I love you too, Shego, always have and always will.”

                Let it be known now the effects of the Attitudinator remained as strong as ever in Shego.  Kim was guilty of missing the hungry infatuation; Shego was guilty of reading too much into Kim’s words.  The very mention of “love” put the dark haired girl into oblivious ecstasy.  Common sense and cool, collected demeanor deserted her. 

                Thus, without her filter from brain to body, Shego responded in the most straightforward way to an “I love you too”: with a deep, passionate French kiss worthy of an Oscar or four.

                Their lips sealed together.  A charge of sexual energy surged between them, coaxing them to moan and strain.  Shego plunged headlong into the kiss as she literally ached to be touched.  Fantasies long forgotten rush back into the forefront, but fantasy wasn’t reality.  Never in her wildest dreams did she picture Kim’s breath so scorching, skin so smooth, or tongue so accepting.  Then again, her wildest dreams didn’t have Kim sticky with soda while lying on a bed of lettuce, sour cream, and jack cheese.

                Damn her crappy imagination.

                Meanwhile, Zorpox couldn’t believe his eyes.  Despite being an evil villain with rocking powers and big toys, he was still a teenaged boy.  Every teenaged boy’s dream?  To see two girls kissing, yet this wasn’t just any two girls or any normal kiss.  This was Team Possible, two of the hottest chicks to ever kick butt for the despicable side of good.  How many villain web forums had photo manipulations of these two all over each other?  How many times had he envisioned either of them naked, lusty, and covered with edible goodies?   Shego and Kim Possible: gay, together, and making out in front of him.  God, seeing their sweaty bodies clutching each other in rapturous embrace almost made him forget shooting Possible with the Attitudinator.

                Almost.

                Muttering a quiet “Sweetness!”, Zorpox took aim and waited for the lovebirds to come back to earth.  Besides, with the best seat in the house, it wasn’t like he wanted to interrupt them any time soon. 

                Ever vigilant, Kim heard her nemesis.  The tiny distraction alerted her euphoric senses, and with danger spurring her on, she fought to get back control of herself.  Basic questions popped out at her (Why am I so comfortable?  Why does my mouth taste like spearmint?  What was I doing before this fuzzy feeling came along?); the advanced questions followed close behind (Who’s kissing me?  How come they kiss so well?  Mmm, so cuddly and soft, I can’t go back to pandaroo, can I?  Wait, is it Zorpox?!  Slender fingers, strawberry shampoo, Club Banana “Essence” perfume… OH MY GOD!).

                The pieces fell into place.  Kim’s eyes burst open as her arms thrust out to push off the weight on top of her.

                The stunned expression shattered Shego’s bliss.  “Kimmie?”

                The redhead brought her shivering hand up to her own swollen lips.  Shock, mortification, and embarrassment colored her already flushed cheeks.  Her lungs refused to inflate while her brain kept on screaming “That was Shego!” over and over again.  Her voice wouldn’t work.

                Zorpox shrugged.  “Eh, show’s over anyway.”

                Three things happened at about the same time.  First, Zorpox leveled the Attitudinator at Kim and pulled the trigger.  Second, Kim, in an attempt to protect herself, grabbed a loose spork and hurled it at the ray gun.  Third, Shego threw herself over Kim.  The split second the Attitudinator used to charge itself up turned Team Possible’s fortunes around for the better.  As the great and mysterious spork left Kim’s hand, Shego got there in time to intercept Zorpox’s shot.  The utensil lodged itself into the Attitudinator's barrel.

                Result?  KAPOW!

                Hundreds of orders of Mexican food sprayed into the air.  Diablo Sauce caked the ground like the aftermath of a horror movie.  Tomatoes smashed into the walls to decorate the kitchen with their innards.  Cheese melted.  A fine mist of flour obscured vision as much a blizzard would.  The Attitudinator’s explosion rocketed the villain against one of the many ovens, knocking him out cold.

                Only then did GJ, headed by none other than Agent Will Du, arrive at the scene.

*****************

- To be continued...

                “… and all the money was returned.  Kim, as always, I’m impressed.  GJ owes you a great debt for capturing Zorpox and Monique.”

                Another job well done for Team Possible.  No doubt about it, capturing the elusive and deadly Zorpox should’ve touched off a memorable celebration through Middleton and, perhaps, the world.  Streamers should’ve been raining down from every avenue while TV channels stopped their programming to show him spewing curses from behind bars.  In a time when immense satisfaction and accolades were called for, Kim felt conflicted and ill.

                Ever the sharp, empathic leader, Dr. Sheldon Director quickly picked up on the heroine’s unusual demeanor and the palatable lack of her partner.  Putting two and two together, he quietly offered, “If you’re looking for Shego, she went off toward the high school.”

                The name alone tied knots in Kim’s stomach and shortened her breath.  A cacophony swirled about her, them, the kiss, the Atittudinator, the battle, and their relationship.  On one hand, Kim was mortified and disgusted especially considering she wasn’t a lesbian and Zorpox saw… but mostly because she wasn’t a lesbian.  Yup, Kimberly Ann Possible was straight as could be, the kind of girl without a queer bone in her body.  She never even considered fantasizing about her best friend, let alone another girl.

                On the other hand, Shego kissed like no one and nothing else.  If she was a man, Kim would’ve been turned into a steaming pile of romance-laden goo…

                Ew, but Shego was a girl!  Gross and awkweird!  Like, hello?!  How could a popular cheerleader like Kim herself be gay?  That’s right: no way.

                At the same time, Shego was also her best friend, and what was a kiss between best friends?  Their time-tested friendship rested on the foundation of their long, fondly remembered, pre-K history.  A simple kiss couldn’t change over a decade of stalwart loyalty, innumerable weekends of shopping, and countless times of saving each others’ lives, could it?

                Torn with herself and Shego, Kim didn’t notice Dr. Director’s comforting hand on her shoulder until she felt a shake.

                “Kim,” said the leader of GJ, “is Shego ok?”

                “I don’t know… I mean, I think so, but there was this ray gun and it hit her.”

                Panic wasn’t a word associated with Kim Possible.  The girl dodged giant killer robots and disarmed earth-shattering lasers on a daily basis, but then again, those were physical challenges.  Having something happen to a friend, especially to a partner, amounted to another possibly more formidable beast.

                Sheldon had seen too many fine agents ambushed by their partner’s troubles.  “I need you to bring her into a hospital as soon as you can.”

                “But Dr. Director-”

                “We all know what Zorpox is capable of and I don’t want Shego to be another one of his victims.”  The man lowered his voice and continued in a kinder tone.  “Speaking as someone who cares for you, who watched both of you grow from babysitters for hire to this unbelievable tandem, find Shego.  Could I send a GJ squad to drag her kicking and screaming into an ambulance?  Sure, but it’s obvious something happened between you two.  I’m giving you a chance to do damage control now before everything gets worse… that is, if you want to.”

                Of course Kim still wanted Shego’s friendship.  Besides her parents, Shego was the most important person in her life.  But, “It’s so the drama.  I want to work things out for myself before we deal.”

                What a commendable elusive tactic, but Sheldon saw straight through it.  “Don’t try and kid yourself by saying you need space.  I’ve seen too partnerships end badly because of too much thinking.  Take it from someone who’s seen a little more in the world than you: don’t put off talking to her.  You’d be abandoning her when she truly needs you the most.”

                “But she stormed off herself!”

                “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Kim.  She walked away from you, so does mean you should walk away from her?”  Dr. Director took a step back and resumed his more proper, manly persona.  “You have two hours to find Shego and report to me about her status.  If I don’t get your call, I’m sending Will Du after her.  Understood?”

                Without waiting for an answer, Sheldon turned back toward the cordoned off Bueno Nacho and began shouting orders.  Her hair spackled with cheese and Diablo Sauce, Kim stared into the ground as if the chunk of concrete before her had the answers to her problems.  She questioned every aspect of herself: sexuality, open-mindedness, bravery, responsibility, commitment to justice.  What kind of person was Kim Possible?  An intolerant cheerleader?  Another apathetic teen who’s motto was “Whatever?” 

                Well, whoever Kim Possible was, she wasn’t a quitter.

                Steeling herself, the redhead flipped out her Kimmunicator.  “Drew, where’s Shego?”

*****************

                Young couples and children loved Jen and Berry’s ice cream shop.  For a nominal price, an entire cornucopia of desserts opened up like the doors to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.  Sprinkles, cookies, syrups, and candies topped ice creams of all colors and flavors.  On a hot summer day, J&B’s was the coolest place in Middleton; any other time, the place was just plain cool.  Stood to reason many happy moments took place there.  First kisses, first dates, birthdays, post-finals celebrations, every occasion fit the retro-hip ice cream parlor.  It was a beloved, comforting sight in a world that wasn’t always kind.  When anyone in the Colorado town needed a pick-me-up, they strolled down to Jen and Berry’s, ordered up their favorite concoction, and pushed their sorrows away with memories of times better spent. 

                Times better spent were what drew Shego onto Jen and Berry’s roof.  Since as long as she could remember, she and Kim came here every Saturday.  Till about seven, their parents drove.  From eight to sixteen, they rode their bikes.  Now?  They had cars, or rather, Shego had a car and Kim was perpetually working on hers.  Saturday didn’t feel right until they giggled away at least two hours of their existence talking about their latest infatuations and sharing the week’s gossip.  It was fun, it was tradition, and it was beyond reach…

                … thanks to a single kiss.

                Long ago she acknowledged her attraction towards women.  Guys?  Still good, but women—actually, woman—was better.  Two factors prevented acknowledgement from becoming acceptance: high school and family.  What would the parents and brothers think?  What about the reception at school?  Around town?  Would whispers of “slut” and “dyke” hound her day after day?  Could she deal with the ridicule?  Did she want to deal with the ridicule?

                Then there was Kimmie.  There always was Kimmie.

                Bitterly, Shego glared at the happy children, couples, and families streaming into the store.  With her legs dangling over the ledge and a brown paper bag nestled in her grasp, the dark haired girl swayed to the deafening music (some canned, unidentifiable emo-rock song which suit her pissy mood) her iPod blasted out.  Stupid happy people didn’t know how fickle happiness could be.  Maybe they needed Zorpox to kick them in the face.  Oh wait, he was in jail after his mind-messer ray blew up.  How about Professor Dementor then?  If she was lucky, maybe he’d see fit to pull a meteor into J&B’s thereby saving her the heartache of watching happy people and the knowledge that her life as a normal girl was over.

                Heaving a sigh, she poured the remains of the bag’s contents into her mouth and hiccupped.

                “Lousy, no-good idiot,” she growled to no one in particular.  “Oh, look at me!  I love you, Kimmie!  Let’s kiss in front of Zorpox so he’ll have wet dreams for the next century!” 

                She chucked the bag over her shoulder where it joined four more of its brethren.  Her shoulders slumped as she buried her face in her hands.  The remainder of her self-conversation became a muffled tirade, but the general idea remained: she wished this day never happened.  Specifically, she wished she never saw the look of absolute terrified disgust on Kim’s face.  That split second nullified the hope and euphoria from the kiss, forever banishing fantasy back into impossibility.

                Which was a big problem because…

                “God, I still love her.  What kind of loser am I?  She’s probably barricaded herself in her bathroom, scrubbing off my lesbian germs.”

                “That’s not true.”

                Despite her earbuds doing their best to drown out all other sound, Shego heard the quiet comment.  A tap of the iPod later, silence and a nasty helping of dread sent shivers up her spine.  Unsteadily, she turned her head, but before she could say a word, another hiccup escaped her.

                Kim picked up one of the paper bags and glanced inside.  “Are these…”

                “Raspberry, triple cookie, Neapolitan, banana split floats?  Yup.”

                “You had five of them?”

                Shego shrugged.  “Figured I should start working on my new queer image, Pumpkin.  Short hair, flannel shirts, and another hundred pounds should get me into the butch clubs just fine.”

                Instead of firing back with denials she wasn’t sure of, Kim settled for taking a seat by her friend.  “I thought you needed a spoon and a ginormous appetite to eat those.”

                “I lied.”

                The terse comment required silence as its only answer.  The girls snuck furtive glances at each other, between them so many thoughts they couldn’t find a way to express them all.  Maybe if they stayed quiet, the uneasiness would go away and they’d go back to what they were this morning—drama free best friends.

                Maybe talking about serious stuff would break the ice.  “Shego, do you mind if Drew does a scan on you?”

                “Why?  So you find out if Zorpox is mind controlling me to get in your pants?”

                “No,” replied the redhead, more than a little frustrated, “to see if you’re hurt.”

                “Oh.”

                Taking “Oh” to mean “Yes,” Kim flipped open her Kimmunicator and pointed it at Shego.  Drew’s face immediately flashed onto the screen.  “Whoa, like J&B’s already.  Rough one today?”

                Both girls glared at him in a unified way of saying “Don’t go there.”

                “Oooookay, rough one it was.  Now, what am I scanning for?”

                “Zorpox hit her with a ray gun and I want to see if she still has all her fingers and toes.”

                “I could tell you that without Drew.”

                “Scan her brain too.”

                “No.”

                “Why not?  Shego, you could be-”

                “No, there is nothing wrong with my brain, so leave it alone.”

                “But you were crying on Zorpox at Bueno Nacho!”

                “I got better!”

                “Face it: you weren’t yourself.  You hit me!”

                “Apparently not hard enough!”

                “Then you kissed me!”

                “And it wasn’t because of a stupid ray gun!  I’ve wanted to kiss you since eighth grade!”

                A tiny beep from the speaker signified a completed scan.  “Hehe,” Drew chuckled uncomfortably.  “Everything about Shego matches up with the baseline measurements I have of her, so she’s fine.  I have to umm… alphabetize my robot collection and… stuff.”

                The screen went black as the girls backed off from their confrontation.  This wasn’t how Team Possible operated, this wasn’t how life was suppose to be.  “This is screwed up, Pumpkin.”

                “I’ll say.  You probably gave him a head start on puberty.”

                “Good, because he needs it.”

                Finally fed up with the verbal sparring, Kim took two deep breaths, counted to five, and continued ahead.  “So not the drama,” she whispered to herself.  “Can we just like… start this meeting over?  There’s that pink elephant I want to talk about.”

                “It’s only a pink elephant if we know about it and don’t talk about it.  Maybe there wasn’t much talking, but we’ve been doing a great job screaming about it.”

                “Whatever, you know what I’m talking about.”

                “Hey, don’t ‘whatever’ me.”

                “Shego!  Focus!”

                “I am focused!”

                “Then why are you making this difficult?!”

                “Me make it difficult?  Me?!  I wasn’t the one who looked like she was about to burn her best friend at the stake!”

                “What are talking about?”

                Furious, Shego jabbed her finger at Kim’s chest.  “I might’ve been a little loopy, but I saw you as clear as day.  Remember?  When you pushed me away, I could almost hear things like ‘freak’ and ‘burn her’ come out of your mouth!”

                “Um, hello?  I was surprised, so don’t go around putting words in my mouth!  I haven’t had a lot of time to process anything!”

                “Whatever,” muttered Shego as she got off the ledge to walk away.

                Like her friend, Kim didn’t take the “whatever” too well.  She latched onto Shego’s arm and demanded, “Don’t.”

                Shego tugged once and found the grip unwavering.  “Don’t what?”

                “Walk off?  Be a bitch?  Take your pick.”

                A soft, hesitant “You’re not disgusted with me?” extinguished Kim’s anger.

                In fact, the question broke her heart.  It showed how accurately Shego knew Kim, how Kim wasn’t as accepting as she thought she was, how one act could shake the foundations of a relationship thought untouchable.  Disgust—it was the first word which came to mind after she realized who was doing the kissing.  Was the disgust a knee jerk reaction or was indicative of a more deep seated, bigoted point of view?

                Maybe Shego was right to be defensive.

                But before the disgust, there was heaven.  Just thinking about the raw sensations brought an excited flutter to Kim’s stomach.  Her breath shortened, the redhead couldn’t stop her cheeks from flushing or her heart from racing.  If Shego was a boy…

                “I don’t know,” she breathed.  “It’s…  I…  But…  we’re girls.”

                Another time, Shego would’ve responded with a sarcastic barb; today, she couldn’t summon the strength anymore.  Shoulders slumped and eyes downcast, she said, “I know.”

                “It’s like all wigged out, you know?  I meant it when I said I love you, but do ‘I Love You?’  Shego, we’re girls.”

                “You’ve made that real clear.”

                “What’ll other people say?  Mom?  Dad?  Your brothers?  Oh my God, we totally blew up in front of Drew!”

                “Pumpkin, I’ve thought about all of it.  Trust me, unlike you, I had a lot of time and the sad fact is none of it’s good.   Just… try not to tell too many people about me, ok?”

                “Wait, you think I’m going to tell other people?”

                “With the way you were freaking out, what else am I suppose to think?”

                “Unless you wanted me to, I’d never tell anyone.”

                “Because you’re ashamed of me?”

                “Because you’re the last person on this world I want to hurt!  Geez, Shego, do you think I’m like that?  I’m stressed, worried, and confused, but I’d never, ever betray you.”

                “That was before you looked at me like I was worse than Zorpox.  Didn’t exactly give me a vote of confidence there.”

                “Confidence is the last thing I have right now.  I’ve got no idea about… about… anything.  Shego, I don’t know what to do and I’m the girl who can do anything.”

                “Do the only thing you can do,” Shego sighed.  She laid a hand on top of Kim’s and gave a brief squeeze.  “Let’s just go home, chill out, and move on.  Today never happened.  No awkweird memories, no uneasy chuckles when I put my arm around your shoulder, no thinking I’m checking you out when we’re at Club Banana—everything will be the same.”

                “You’d just be hiding again, and that’s not fair.”

                “Been hiding since eighth grade, Pumpkin, so I’ve got practice.  You’ve got a future to think about, people who you need to impress to move on in the world, and a reputation to uphold.  Me?  I’m going to be a nobody, a fashion designer.  You don’t need to be straight or straight-laced to get my kind of job.”  An embarrassed peal of laughter filled the air.  “Actually, fashion designers need to be a little off, so I’ll fit right in.”

                Giving another firm tug, she pulled herself away from a stunned Kim.  “Barkin’s subbing for Mr. Terrance, so remember to finish up the calculus homework.  I’ll see you in class tomorrow, ok? 

                Funny how fast the sun disappeared.  Darkness wrapped around Shego, and for once, she’d welcome the chance to fade into the night.  More than anything else, she wanted to disappear and never live this life ever again.  Despite her urgings, she knew Kim wouldn’t forget the kiss, their friendship wouldn’t be the same, and life wouldn’t go on.  Things like this always had a way of getting out whether it be Zorpox’s loose lips or a J&B’s customer who happened to hear their exchange.  Heart broken, affections rejected, and reputation ruined, Shego marched, never looking back, never expecting to hear the easy comfort of Kim’s unstrained voice again.

                “I can’t forget it.”

                Shego froze.

                “It was the most intense ten seconds I’d ever experienced.  I can’t stop thinking about it even when I know you were the one kissing me.  I remember every reaction, every thought, everything about those moments like they’re constantly happening.  We’re girls, I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I am.”

                I shouldn’t be feeling this way.  Objectively, such a statement was garbage because people shouldn’t be told how they should feel, but in reality, this was the crux of the fiasco.  Neither Shego nor Kim had the emotional apathy to ignore what others thought and care only for each other.  They fought for the world; thus, they couldn’t ignore it.

                So they stood atop of Jen and Berry’s, atop of their lifetimes of happy memories, atop the world they fought for, atop the same world who’d see Team Possible in a new light if neither walked away from the kiss.  A vast ocean of unshared emotions, uncertainty, and visceral fear separated them.  Alone, they were incomplete but safe.  Together, they were complete but unsafe.  While neither knew how the future would be, both realized they didn’t want to be alone.

                Pre-K playmates.  High school classmates.  Team Possible partners.  Best friends.  They couldn’t ignore the world, but they couldn’t ignore their past.

                Despite having her back turned, a tentative pair of arms embraced Shego.  This morning, the practiced gesture meant a silent request for support; tonight, nothing was that simple.  “I’m scared.”

                “Me too,” Kim said with a tremble.

                “If you leave me alone, you won’t be.”

                “Can’t.  We come as a pair.”

                “People are going to talk and we’re never going to hear the end of it.  Middleton’s not exactly a huge town.”

                “Maybe we should give them a little more credit.  I mean, this can’t be a big deal, right?”

                Shego stiffened at the implications.  “Pumpkin, are you saying you want to be with me?”

                “Yes.”

*****************

                In GJ’s maximum security holding area, one Zorpox the Conqueror paced around in his cell.  Team Possible might’ve escaped destruction today, but they still hadn’t gone beyond the scope of his contingency plan.  Such were the joys of villainy, the ability to keep coming again and again as long as one had the will.  After all, didn’t Al Capone run his empire from within Alcatraz?  Didn’t John Gotti still put fear into his enemies’ hearts, some say from beyond the grave?

                What the mob could do, Zorpox could do better!

                “Boss, when am I breaking us out of here?”

                A bored Monique sat in her cell across the hall, feet propped up and nails currently being filed.  So she wasn’t the world’s greatest fighter, as witnessed earlier with her fight against Kim Possible, but she was an escape artist worthy of legends.  Zorpox smiled at his loyal henchwoman and shook his head.  “We’re staying.”

                Monique frowned.  “I left my skin moisturizer at the lair.”

                “Suffer for me,” sighed the villain.  “I’ve got another trick up my sleeve that not even Team Possible can evade!”

                “Better be good if I’m going without my moisturizer.”

                “Think about it, Monique.  Who owns Bueno Nacho?”

                “Erm, like you do.”

                “Exactly, and a man can’t rob himself.”

                “Duh.”

                “So if I wasn’t committing any crimes…”

                “I did kind of put a cashier into traction.”

                “A technicality!  As I was saying, if I wasn’t committing any crimes, then it was Possible and her meddling sidekick who assaulted us on my property.  They should be in here with us!”

                “And?”

                “And?” scoffed Zorpox, aggravated his employee didn’t see the connection.  “And we’re criminals, Monique.  Team Possible?  Heroes.  What kind of people go to jails?”

                “Stupid villains like Duff Killigan, Adrena Lynn, and Frugal Lucre.”

                “Yes!  All of them will want a piece of Team Possible!  If we’re here, we can recruit our colleagues, mobilize them, and prepare them.  Once we get those girls in jail, they’re as good as dead!”

                “Um, problem.”

                “What?”

                “There’s no way ‘The Man’ is going to arrest or convict Possible, especially when it’s us pressing charges.”

                “Ah, ye of little faith.  This is where the next phase of my Plan B comes in.”

                “Great,” muttered Monique, “plans within plans.”

                From down the hall, a deafening thud signaled people entering the maximum security zone.  Many footsteps, accompanied by jingling keys and low chattering, echoed into confusing gibberish.  A tall, burly GJ guard came into view first and boomed, “Ron Stoppable and Monique, you have visitors.”

                A new, unfamiliar voice corrected the guard.  “Correction, sir.  My team and I are their legal council.”

                “Whatever,” said uniformed man, rolling his eyes.  “You have thirty minutes once we secure the prisoners and transport them to the conference room.”

                Curious, Monique actually got up and poked her head out of the cell.  “Who are you?”

                A slick, greasy haired man puffed his chest out.  “Hank Perkins, attorney at law.”  He stepped aside to reveal two other individuals.  “These are Wade and Yori, my assistants.  Don’t worry, Ms. Monique, we’ll have this misunderstanding sorted out before you know it.”

*****************

- The End of Episode 1